Collateral Damage
by Silver Sentinel
Summary: After an attack on Berk, it is discovered that Hiccup has taken his first life. Shocked and scared he must now deal with the emotional turmoil that comes from his actions and how it effects everyone around him. (Set during Defenders of Berk.)
1. First Kill

**Author's Note:**** This is an idea I was really excited about. It's something I honestly think that hasn't been covered with other stories in this fandom. The idea came to me when reading some of the fics, and it just evolved. I always wondered what would happen to Hiccup if he experienced something as big as this. Well this is my own version of it, and I hope I did the whole story right. I have to give a big thanks to Ugly-Duckling123 who helped beta read the chapter. **

Chapter 1: First Kill

_This is Berk…a settlement in which many Vikings have called home for many generations. Despite the constant cold and endless winter, we Hooligans will lay down our lives to keep the village safe. Yet, one of the safer times is at night as nothing much happens upon as everyone in town is asleep, save for the guards on night patrol. Other than that, It's pretty quiet… Well except when a loud horn is blown, waking everyone up to inform them of an attack taking place._

"Push them back!" Stoick's shouted out to his fellow Vikings, all of which were locked in battle with both Outcasts and Berserkers.

The chief had been sound asleep, along with his son and dragon when the warning horn was being blown. Immediately they awoke and knew they were under attack. Quickly getting ready and heading out the chief of the Hooligan tribe started barking out orders to many, which included telling his son to get the Dragon Riders and assist from the air. He did so without hesitation and soon they were in the air defending their home.

Roars echoed in the air as Stoick looked up, a smile gracing his face, as he knew the battle is in their favor. Astrid and Snotlout maneuvering their dragons downward, in sync, both unleashing a long blazing stream of fire at a large group of Outcasts. Many alarmed shouts were heard as they scattered, dropping their weapons along the way.

They kept fighting back and soon the enemy started retreating back to their boats. Stoick along with many other of Berk's Vikings stood on the cliffs, looking out in the distance where flaming ships were. All of them sinking and taking whatever enemy reinforcements that were supposed to back them up. Within minutes all Outcasts and Berserkers were setting sail, chalking another victory to the Hooligan Tribe.

Stoick blew a sigh of relief as he sheathed his sword and turning away from the ocean. The cheers of the whole tribe echoing in the night as they all rejoiced in their victory. Seeing them all crowded around, the chief could see most of the populace is here. This lifted another weight off his shoulders as this is a good indication that no one had perished during the fight, which is a miracle upon itself. Finally. A moment passed before Spitelout and Gobber approach him, "What's the damage?"

"A few of the houses were set ablaze," Spitelout was the first to respond, having a calmness to his voice. "The Fire Brigade is already taking care of it."

"Was anyone in those homes?" Stoick asked, mentally checking off his list.

"No, thank Freya, they got out in time," Gobber responded next, which made the chief sigh in relief. The luck keeps rolling on, yet he feared when it would run out. "The only major damage done is to the docks, but that happened as the Outcasts and Berserkers were retreating."

"Any injured?" Stoick inquired next.

"About fifteen, but they're being taken to Gothi for treatment," Spitelout answered next, then taking another look around. Despite the dark the village could still be seen quite a bit. The fire from the ablazed houses were being doused. Some others were walking about to see if anything was missed. And the injured are being helped to Gothi. "I say we got off lucky this time around."

"I agree," the chief responded but then turned as a Nadder landed next to him, followed by a Gronkle. Astrid and Fishlegs got off and headed straight for him. "Report!"

"We circled the island and found no stragglers," Astrid chimed in, looking confident in her words. "It's safe to say they all left as well."

Just then two more Dragons landed as the twins and Snotlout dismounted, the buffer teen walking forward. "We doubled checked no Outcasts or Berserkers in sight."

"They hauled out of here once they knew we were coming," Tuffnut smugly said, almost in a way that would make Snotlout proud.

"That's what they get for messing with us," Ruffnut agreed with her brother, both of them high-fiving.

Stoick opened his mouth, but nothing came out as he looked around. Both eyes carefully scanned amongst the crowd as panic started to fill him as someone is missing. "Where's Hiccup!?"

It was then everyone else noticed it as well and looked around. The one-legged teen wasn't in sight, and most of all his Night Fury couldn't be seen either. Various whispers started amongst the crowd as the worst started to swell up within them all. Had he been taken?

"That's strange, I saw him a few minutes ago," Astrid commented, which caught the chief's attention.

"Where?!" he asked with urgency.

"He was flying near the Great Hall, he told me to go and help take out the ships," the blond responded back, now worried, as well as the other teens.

Immediately Stoick turned to the crowd, "Find my son!" They didn't need to be told twice as they disbursed, all of them going in different directions in hopes of finding Berk's heir. Turning towards the Dragon Riders Stoick issued another order, "Search from the air!"

Immediately the teens mounted their dragons and flew up and were out of sight. Stoick remained where he was, trying to think of where his son could be and did what he could to push down the notion of him being taken. He had thought about going to grab Thornado to search up in the air as well, yet he remembered what Astrid had said. She saw him near the great hall last. With the destination in mind he rushed out towards it on foot. He was thankful for being close to the building, as his eyes searched ever where. The torches lining the stars provided some light, but no one could be seen. The chief then looked around the sides, in the blind spots that anyone could miss.

Circling the vast building he was almost near the back, when both eyes widened as something new came into his vision, causing the panic to increase. "Toothless!"

A few yards away the Night Fury flailed around on the ground, entangled in a bunch of long bolas that enclosed around its wings and legs. There was even one enclosed around his mouth, no wonder the beast couldn't call for help. Rushing over to the dragon Stoick pulled out his sword and started to cut the rope. He knew something bad had happened if his son's dragon is on the ground and Hiccup nowhere in sight.

"Toothless, where's Hiccup!?" as his voice came out the Night Fury noticed and immediately started making muffled warbles…frantic warbles. It was as if he was trying to say something important

Once the last of the bolas is cut Toothless got up to his feet he instantly ran off in one direction, causing Stoick's eyes to follow. Yet, something else came into view as he lost sight of the dragon, something that was unexpected. A few yards away from where the dragon was lying was an Outcast soldier…more importantly a _dead_ Outcast.

"Great Odin's Ghost," Stoick said as he couldn't take his eyes off the dead human. Lying face up, eyes devoid of life and facial expression one of surprise, as blood pooled underneath him. Yet that wasn't the surprising thing. All around the upper body were open wounds, which looked like stabs. Many littered the body….and by the grouping of the wounds they were blind stabs…all of them seeming to have belonged to a small blade, most likely a dagger or something.

A coo brought the large man out of his observation as he looked over and finally found his son, "Hiccup!"

Not too far away the one-legged teen sat against the large rock which the Great Hall stood upon. Both of his knees were to his chest as his arms were resting on top of them… Both of them were trembling. Right next to him his son's dragon is trying to get a response out of him, but nothing seemed to be getting through as Hiccup seemed to be in some kind of trance.

As he got closer it's then both of Stoick's eyes widen, as his son's appearance became more apparent.

Blood soaked the teen's clothing. It may have been hard to see during the night, but it was there as dark splotches covered all over the furred vest and green tunic. In his son's blood covered hands was his knife. The metal covered in a sticky crimson and dribbled down onto the boy's hands, covering the pink flesh.

Even though Hiccup isn't a normal Viking and was opposed to carrying weapons around the dragons Stoick insisted that his son be armed in case something happened. And knowing the trouble that followed the boy, this concern was warranted. After arguing a while Hiccup relented and agreed to carry his dagger with him. Although the chief rather he has something bigger it did give him some peace of mind as the small weapon is still deadly if used right…and apparently from the looks of it that is what may have happened.

"Hiccup…Hiccup!" Stoick called out as he is finally kneeling by his son's side. But like with Toothless, the boy was unresponsive almost like he couldn't hear either of them. His voice went soft as something is definitely wrong, "Son."

His massive hand went out and touched the boy's shoulder, which seemed to do the trick as Hiccup gasped and jumped. The knife falling out of his hands as he looked around in confusion before settling on his father. A frightened expression now plastered over his face as he started to breathe heavily and uneasy, "D-Dad?" he calmed down some upon seeing it's his father.

"Hiccup," Stoick started out gently. There were many things he wanted to ask him, yet only one thing came out of his mouth. "What happened?"

The teen's body stiffened upon hearing that, his head slowly looked away from his father, and eyes widening as they rested on the dead Outcast not too far away. His face visibly paled, body trembling, and breathing grew heavier as he swallowed, "I'm…I'm going to be sick…"

Stoick could only watch as his son quickly crawled off a few feet away and started emptying his stomach. Audible gagging filling the area as the chief and dragon watched the teen hurl. By this time, they started to draw a crowd as the villagers, including the riders, found them. They were bearing torches which brought more light to the area, and soon gasps are heard. All of them were surprised to see the dead body and a blood covered Hiccup throwing up. Slowly their minds put two and two together and yet they were surprised and silent.

"Chief," Astrid came up and asked in concern. "What's going on?"

Stoick said nothing as he moved to Hiccup's side, placing a comforting hand on his son's back. After a bit the teen is heaving as he seemed to have stopped. By now his small frame is trembling violently as silence filled the air still. Seeing that his arms might give the chief carefully grabbed his son, the last thing he needed is for the boy to fall in his own bile. Gently he moved him, so he is sitting down, father and son looking at one another. "Son…what happened?"

Hiccup took one look at his father and then slowly to the body before looking back. All sorts of emotions were hitting him like a rushing Gronkle as it was overwhelming. He had trouble trying to find his voice, but his dad was patient and allowed him all the time needed. Then he said three words that his father never expected his son to say…well at least for another few years, "I-I killed him."

_**A/U: I hope you all like. Especially with with I have so far. I had always wondered what Hiccup would be like if he killed someone for the first time. If it had happened during Race to the Edge I honestly thought that version of Hiccup would be able to endure it better, mainly since he's more mature. Then I decided to stick with Defender's of Berk Hiccup as he's still somewhat a child and it could have greater consequences. I hope you'll give this story a chance because I have a lot planned for this. Till next time. **_


	2. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**** Hey there, sorry for the wait, but hopefully this chapter will sate you for the time being. It's longer than the previous chapter, so that's a plus. And I know a lot of you have questions about the previous one, but the biggest one will be addressed in this chapter: What made Hiccup kill the Outcast. Once again thank you Ugly-Duckling123 for beta reading this chapter for me. **

**Now I did what I could and tried to do research on this kind of condition. So if I get somethings wrong, i'm sorry about that as I did the best I could. **

Chapter 2: Aftermath

"I-I killed him," Hiccup's words came out and reached everyone's ears. Multiple gasps and whispers went amongst the crowd as most couldn't believe it what they heard, yet the evidence is all before them. Most of the shock came from the Dragon Riders along with Stoick, as they still couldn't believe what was said.

Stoick then blocked out the sounds as nothing but concerned overtook him. He managed to push it to the side as he focused on his son, who seemed to be haunted by his own words. "Hiccup-"

It was cut off as the teen just kept going, voice filled with distress and uncertainty, "I…I had to…I had to do it…he…was going to k-kill Toothless if…If I hadn't done anything."

Just at the sound of his name said Night Fury nuzzled his rider, trying to calm him down. Hiccup turned to his dragon and, shakingly, reached out to pet him, relieved to see him. A moment passed as Stoick watched his son. No wonder Toothless was tied up in the Bolas even after being found. Plus it made sense that the dragon would be a target in that state. Pushing those thoughts aside he helped the boy back up on his feet, fully knowing of the panic and alarmed sense of mind his son is experiencing. The lad needed help and right now his father is the only one that can do that right now, especially with an issue such as this.

"Come on Hiccup, we're going home," The chief announced as he carefuly helped his son up onto his feet. Then he placed his hands on the boy's shoulders as he helped steady him, the boy's small legs having trouble supporting their owner. Like a puppet on strings the teen's body moved on its own as his father guided him, his mind still jumbled up as he couldn't think straight. Stoick then looked back at the Night Fury, "Come Toothless!"

The dragon nodded as he followed the two humans, and not wanting to be away from his rider's side. Stoick stopped for a brief moment to pick up the bloodied knife and placing it on his belt, not caring if blood smeared on his clothes. Before continuing on the chief looked at the crowd of Vikings still standing there, all staring at Hiccup, as if nothing better to do.

"Alright nothing to see here!" they heard the chief bellow out and slowly started to disburse. "And someone, get rid of the body!"

Father and son started to pass the Dragon Riders, most of them still shocked or concerned with their leader's current state. Especially since he's not saying anything and moving like a puppet still. They all wanted to say something but Fishlegs was the only one who managed to do so. "Sir…is there anything we can do…for Hiccup I mean?"

Stopping a moment, the large man looked at the other teens, seeing them ready to do something if need be. Stoick was glad his son had friends that were willing to help him in a time like this and would stick by him regardless of the situation. Sadly, this time around they couldn't do anything this time around. This was Hiccup's first kill…and none of them knew of the consequences that came with it or how to approach the subject. "I'll take care of things from here."

As much as they didn't want to, all the other teens nodded, knowing that Hiccup's father could handle things… As he was the only one that could do anything for Hiccup. Yet, they wished they could help in anyway as they were a team and always looked out for one another. All they could do is watch as father and son walked off to their home.

…

Hiccup was silent the whole trip home, not speaking one word even when his father helped get him cleaned up and into some fresh clothes. Yet it didn't seem to matter to the boy, as he could still feel the sickly wetness of the blood on his body. Shuddering as a phantom feeling of blood sliding down his flesh sent shivers down his body.

Currently he sat down at the table, head bowed, and petting Toothless, as the dragon's head rested in his rider's lap. Even though his skin was cleaned up faded blood stains could still be seen on his hands. Just one look only served to remind the boy of what he did. Making the events replay over again in his mind.

Incoming footsteps made him raise his head as Stoick came over. He stopped for a moment to look upon his son's face. Now as they were in a more lit up place the chief was able to take notice of a large bruise on the right side of his face. Looking almost as if something had struck him, or someone. More curiosity stoked up inside, but he put it to the side as he placed a mug of water and a plate of bread in front of the teen. "You must be hungry after…throwing up." The chief offered sincerely.

Hiccup looked at the items before him before looking away, body trembling and hands clenching into fists. The sight of the food only brought nausea to him. Toothless sensed his rider in distress and nuzzled him, cooing and trying to settle him down. It seemed to work as the trembling reduced.

"Son, you need to eat," Stoick said softly, yet also in concern. Yet he didn't force it, knowing his son needed a gentle hand at the moment, despite there being no response. This worried the man more as his son didn't say anything, and it would make things easier if he did speak up. "Hiccup…please say something."

Silence filled the home as the teen slowly looked back up at his father. His usual green eyes that were so full of life now held nothing but fright. Something Stoick hasn't seen since Hiccup was a child. Slowly he watched as his son pushed the plate away. "N…Not hungry," he finally said in a low voice.

Ok that was progress…even if it was small. Hopefully Stoick could work with this as he could get his son to talk. As much as he didn't want to the chief needed to know the whole story, he needed to know what exactly happened if he was going to help. "Hiccup I know this is hard for you, but I need you to tell me what exactly happened."

The statement caused the boy to cringe on sight, the whole thing flashing before his very eyes as his breathing increased. How he stabbed the man and…how he…He shook his head as he tried to rid himself of the image, but it kept on playing and in turn caused him to hug his dragon, holding him close. "I…I don't…"

"Please son…I want to help you, but I need to know," Stoick gently insisted, fully knowing this is going to be hard for the boy. Yet, he still needed to know in order to help.

Silence filled the home as Hiccup's breathing is the only thing that could be heard, the distress clearly written on his face as well as his body trembling once more. In the back of his mind he knows his father really is trying to help but thinking back to what happened…he wasn't sure.

Still, he had to, he needed help, and this could be the only way to get it. A lot of emotions and thoughts flooded his mind, and he had no idea how to sort through them, at least not on his own. Besides sometimes talking about the problem could help…how wrong could it be? Taking a few breaths Hiccup tried to push his emotions to the side long enough to explain. "I…I was in the air…issuing out orders to the others."

….

A plasma blast shot out of Toothless mouth as it hit the ground, the force of the impact causing both Outcasts and Berserkers to be knocked off their feet. Feeling pleased with himself Hiccup reached down to give his dragon a pet, "Good job Bud, keep this up and we'll win this in no time!"

The Night Fury nodded as the two then executed the same maneuver again, by diving downward and shooting another plasma bolt. Returning back up high in the air he soon found himself near the Great hall, hovering in place as he took in the darkened surroundings. Pretty much all of Berk's Vikings were slowly driving the enemy back, but that doesn't mean the tide couldn't shift at anytime. Looking out towards the ocean the moon illuminated the sea and he could see more ships incoming: reinforcements.

A Nadder squawk caught his attention as he looked and found Astrid heading his way. She hovered alongside the duo, giving him an update, "They're starting to retreat!"

"Good," Hiccup nodded and pointed towards the ships. "Get the others and take out their reinforcements!"

"What about you?" she asked.

"I'll take care of any stragglers on land," Hiccup responded back. Receiving a nod from the blond, the two then separated to take care of their tasks.

Hiccup maneuvered Toothless to search for more of the enemy, seeing a small group he went to launch another plasma bolt. Gaining some altitude Hiccup circled around the mountain on which the Great Hall stood on top of, ready to do another round. Unfortunately, neither one of them saw the incoming Bolas.

"NO!" the teen cried out as the ropes ensnared his Dragon, effectively wrapping around his wings and maw. As quickly as it happened the duo started to quickly fall down towards land, Toothless taking most of the impact as they crashed down into the rough ground. The force of the impact lurched Hiccup forward, causing him to roll away a few feet as a small amount of pain flared up in his upper body.

Groaning he slowly made it back to his feet, trying to ignore the pain in his side. Quickly trying to regain his composure Hiccup looked and saw his dragon struggling within the tightly wrapped bolas. Not only did he see the wings wrapped up, but his legs as well and the mouth, which could prevent him from moving and calling for help. Quickly rushing over Hiccup pulled out his knife.

"Don't worry bud I got you," Before he could start cutting at the ropes both of Toothless' eyes widen as he tried to get his human's attention, muffled roars coming out as he pointed with his head behind. Catching on Hiccup turned, and face fell.

"Well, well if it isn't Berk's scrawny heir…and his Night Fury," a lone Outcast soldier stood a few yards away, and slowly getting closer.

Eyes locking onto the man Hiccup stood in front of his dragon as a bit of panic started to fill him. No one was around after taking a quick scan, nor could anyone get to him in time to help. There was no time to cut the bolas as he didn't dare take his eyes off the Outcast before him. And with Toothless' mouth shut he couldn't assist him at all, the teen is on his own and now against the enemy. He's the only thing that stood between him and Toothless. He needed to protect his dragon, just like how the Night Fury protected him.

"Dagur will reward me greatly for bringing him the Night Fury's head," the Outcast grinned sinisterly as he moved forward, pulling out his sword as his target was announced.

"Y-You won't get anywhere near him!" Hiccup shouted, holding his dagger forward with both hands. Yet his body betrayed him as his body trembled, showing his fear.

That caused the soldier to laugh, clearly amused and not intimidated. "Oh, like I'm really scared, what can a twig like you do?"

With that Hiccup had no idea what came over him as he charged, trying to slash the man. Only to be rewarded with a strong back hand to the side of his face, the pain from earlier growing stronger as Hiccup was knocked off his feet and fell to the side. "Pathetic," the Outcast frowned, not finding any enjoyment that he had hoped for. Either way killing the Night Fury would be twice as rewarding. Turning towards the bound dragon he slowly made his way towards him.

Sitting up Hiccup held the side of his face, vision slightly blurred from the smack. Thankfully after blinking a few times it cleared up, only for him to pale as he saw the soldier approaching his dragon, intent clear. The boy had to do something, quick, or else Toothless was going to die.

Time slowed down for the teen as his mind tried to think of what to do and be quick about it. Both eyes then locked onto his knife, which was lying on the ground after falling from his hand. One thought came to mind and it was the only thing the lad could think of. His heart started to beat even faster as the mere thought flooded his mind. He didn't want to do it, but he needed to save his Toothless…he needed to save his best friend.

Looking up he could see his dragon struggling to break free of the rope. He too must know what is about to happen and must be scared as well. Why couldn't they leave Toothless alone? Why did they always have to target him? Automatically his body acted on its own, getting up and snatching up his knife. Decision already made Hiccup Pushed his legs as hard as he could and reached the Outcast in seconds and jumped onto his back.

"What in the hel!" he cried out, feeling added weight land on his back, and something wrap around his neck.

Not even hesitating Hiccup raised his knife up and brought it down, not even hearing a choked gasp that followed. Feeling resistance from the downward stab Hiccup figured that the blow was blocked. Moving quickly, he pulled the knife back up and plunged it down once again. Meeting the same resistance, he repeated the move pulling the knife back up and bringing it back down, not knowing that he's slowly littering the man with many stab wounds.

The Outcast felt pain filling his body at a fast pace and did what he could to shake the brat off his back, but he held a tight grip. The more his body is stabbed the more energy is taken from him. Eventually he lost the feeling in his hand and dropped his sword, soon his head started to feel woozy as blood left his body causing his knees to buckle. Falling to his knees he could feel his body going numb, yet the stabs continued.

Hiccup didn't even pause as he felt himself go down, he just kept on stabbing. His mind trying to block out anything that was going on, like he didn't even want to acknowledge what he's doing. Eventually the man fell down to the side, on his back as Hiccup let go of him. Still he took the knife in both hands and kept bringing it down, even though it was not necessary anymore. Hiccup wasn't sure what was going on as he just felt anger, mainly because he was brought to his just because Toothless was in danger. He just kept on going, not stopping even as the life left the Outcast's eyes.

He would have kept going but eventually ran out of steam and his arms tiring. Slowly he took deep breaths trying to recuperate any lost energy, big mistake as his brain finally started to catch up with him. It was then that he felt the wetness on his hands and clothes. Looking down his mouth dropped seeing that they were covered in blood.

Taking his eyes away from himself he then saw the body…no longer moving and covered in stabs…all done by his hand. Both eyes widen as Hiccup got up to his feet and staggered backwards, eyes then looking down at the bloody knife in his hands. His breathing ragged and uneven as he trembled violently…did…did he just…just…his mind couldn't even register the action. Nor could he hear his Dragon's muffled roars. His back hit against something solid as he slid down to the ground.

"What did I do?" he said to himself.

…..

Hiccup squeezed his eyes closed as he buried his face into his hands, nothing but dread coursing through him…and many other feelings. All the while Stoick stood there, shocked at the story related to him. He was surprised to hear his son lose control and stab the Outcast repeatedly, but the wounds matched the story told so it was true. It also explained the bruise on the side of his face. He also understood the circumstances behind the killing and truth be told it was unavoidable. If his son hadn't killed the Outcast, then Berk would be one Night Fury less.

"Why?" Hiccup asked out, voice strained as if he struggled to keep his emotions under control, yet anyone could see that it was a lost battle. "Why do I feel like this?"

"What are you feeling exactly?" Stoick asked, needing to be sure.

"He was going to kill Toothless…so…why do I…feel guilty about it, why do I feel guilty about killing him?" the boy looked up and tears could be seen in his eyes. Hiccup seemed not to care about suppressing his emotions anymore, mainly since he wasn't even sure how or if he should. After finally being able to process this, an overwhelming sense of guilt flooded him. Which only made him more confused than he already was.

"That is normal Hiccup," the chief said, reaching out and placing a hand on his son's shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"How?" he asked in disbelief. New territory is being entered and Hiccup had no idea what is what, or how he should be feeling. "Dad, I killed a dragon the size of a mountain and I felt nothing for it…Although I was out cold for the aftermath but…why is this different?"

"Because son, that was a dragon," Stoick said, getting a glare from Toothless as he seemed to take offense to that. The chief only rolled his eyes and continued. "Killing a dragon is different from a human…. You know what a human thinks, where they come from, you understand one. All in all, you know how precious living is. When you kill one it is a reflection upon yourself at how easily it is for you to lose your own life. Your mind automatically then regrets its actions."

Hiccup listened in silence, taking in his father's words but it just made him more confused than he was. If he was regretting his actions, then did that mean it was wrong of him to kill the man? Yet, it was overshadowed by Toothless almost being killed, shy should he feel bad about it? It still didn't make sense. Still his father knows what he's talking about, but he couldn't help but question things. "So, I should feel bad for what I did, even after what…almost happened?"

"No son, what you feel is actually a good thing," Stoick responded back, but only earning a confused look. "Tell me…when you realized what you did, how did you feel? Be honest."

The teen didn't say anything at first, mostly because he didn't even want to think back to that moment again. Still if it helped then he would have to. Seeing the body in his mind and realizing that he did it…it made his stomach churn, and the fear returned as he remembered stabbing the man. Never in his wildest dreams has he thought he was capable of something like that, but it was all real no matter how much he didn't want to believe it. The man's blood is on his hands, and the thought nearly made him hurl once more.

A sudden lick from Toothless made him jump but then calmed down after a moment before petting him. "I…I didn't like it…it made me sick realizing what I did. Seeing… all that blood… on me… knowing I caused that it… it freaked me out."

"Which is a good thing," Stoick said once more and continued before his son could get another word in. "It means that you're one of the few that take no pleasure in taking another's life."

"W-Wait…do you mean there are some that take pleasure in it?" he couldn't help but ask, still nowhere in getting a clear answer. "H-How could anyone like killing?"

"Some people do, believe me on that son. Everyone reacts differently to killing and that difference can determine a lot about them. Some are strong and can endure the mental aspects, some can't cope and crumple under it…and there are the kind that…enjoy it way too much and want to keep doing it…not feeling anything for it," Stoick explained in a serious voice.

"W-Which one are you?" The teen then asked as more curiosity swelled up within him.

Stoick was caught off guard a bit yet didn't answer at first. Sighing heavily as he revealed more about himself, "I don't enjoy it either. I only do it when I have to."

"H-How do you do it then?" Hiccup then asked after a bit of silence, this question made him all ears as he needed to hear this response. Curiosity hitting him as he didn't know how his father could be keeping it together like he does. Especially all the things the chief experienced in his life. "You've killed many times, both dragons and humans, yet it doesn't seem to bother you as much. How do you get rid of all these feelings? C-Can you get rid of them?"

Stoick sighed heavily, fully knowing this would come. He wanted to tell his son that it would be ok, and it'll pass…Give him half-truths that would help, but no, he needed to be truthful even though this piece of news would possibly make him lose hope. He then looked his son right in the eye. "You don't… the feelings you get from killing stays with you for the rest of your life. Every action has a consequence to it… and these emotions you feel are it."

Both of Hiccup's eyes widen as his body stiffens. No, he couldn't have heard his father right, he must have misheard the words…yet why did that feel like the truth? How could his father stand before him all calm and collected when he himself is a basket case of emotions, all from just killing one person!? How can there not be a way to ride himself of these emotions? "B-But how… why?"

"It gets easier with time, as you slowly start to not think about what you did to the point where you can push it out of your mind for the time being. But it'll always come back to haunt you, you just need to be strong enough to not let it consume you," Stoick explained, yet still saw the confusion on his face so he decided to tell him more. "Hiccup I've killed many enemies that have threatened Berk… I've seen things that I wish I could un-see…. but that's not how this works. It still gets to me I'll admit, but I manage to endure it and not let it take over my life."

Hiccup couldn't help but ask once he heard this, more curious than ever. "Is that why I can never sneak up on you while sleeping?"

Stoick just looked at his son, not expecting him to ask that. "Yes… that is one reason. I rather not go into detail but let's just say that I've almost been killed while trying to sleep. Now you need to be strong yourself and not allow this kill to overwhelm you."

"I… I don't know… if I can," Hiccup said truthfully, as he didn't believe in himself. It was good hearing a bit more about his father's own personal ordeals, but it hardly helped him. This is something he has never experienced before, and it was on a whole new level, one that he couldn't handle.

"Hiccup if anyone can get past this it's you," Stoick tried to install confidence, because all in all he believed it himself. "After doing the impossible and ending a three-hundred-year war and being the first Viking to ride a dragon then I know you can be strong enough to endure this. You can beat this and come out fine."

Hiccup remained silent, unsure how to respond to his father. It was surprising that his father has so much confidence in him. The little pep talk had little effect as he didn't believe in himself as much; still he just couldn't do nothing about it. He couldn't give up that easily. "D-Dad… does this… will I… I know that he was going to kill Toothless but was it possible for there to be another way? Another way this could have been prevented and allowing Toothless to still live?"

"That's the thing Hiccup," the chief sighed once more, ready to give him more bad news. Why does this have to be so tough on the boy? "In my opinion on what you told me, you had to do it as there was no way of escaping that fight without someone dying. It was either him or Toothless, and that decision was in your hands."

Hiccup nodded and stayed silent, going over all that was explained to him. "I… I think I understand." Feeling a bit better knowing he made the right choice… wasn't it?

"Just remember something," his son's attention is caught once more. Speaking in a serious yet comforting tone. "I know this may be furthest from your mind, but it should be said. You should never resort to killing unless there's no other option. Your first kill is always the hardest… yet the second is always harder and so on."

Hiccup nodded as he sat there for a bit longer as he mulled over all that was said to him. Yet he got distracted as his stomach growled, indicating that his body wanted food. Looking up at the plate of bread he then reached to grab and eat, finishing it in seconds before downing the water. Thankfully the nausea had left him so he could keep it down. After waiting a few seconds after finishing, without a word, he then stood up and headed for the stairs.

"You ok?" Stoick asked in concern.

"Yes… I'm… just tired," Hiccup responded as he stopped just at the bottom of the stair. He's telling the truth as this all has taken a small toll on him. Yet, part of him didn't wish to continue the conversation as it made him think more about the killing and it just made things more conflicting.

"Is there anything you need at least?" he offered, hoping if there was any way to help comfort his son any more than he already did. "Is the bruise on your face hurting?"

Hiccup reached up and rubbed the sore spot on his face, hiding the wince that would follow. "No, I'll be fine. Doesn't hurt as much.

Stoick nodded, not fully believing him on that, but knows his son wanted to be alone. So, he would let that matter go. Well he wouldn't technically be alone as his dragon would be with him. "Ok, but listen… if you need anything, anything at all, then doesn't hesitate to get me, even if I'm asleep."

Hiccup remained where he was, looking at his father in silence and then nodding, not really having anything more to say. He knew the offer was genuine, but the teen would rather avoid having to do so for the time being. Part of him was glad his father was being so understanding on how he feels and is trying to help him to the best of his ability. He hated to think about how things would have been if this happened before meeting Toothless, maybe not as good as now. Still he was good with this outcome.

"Ok… thank you dad… for the talk." It was then the teen was caught off guard as his father pulled him into a warm embrace. It took a moment for his mind to respond and slowly wrap his arms around the bigger man, both holding it for a bit. This felt nice… and he was glad for it.

"Of course," Stoick said. "Goodnight."

"Night dad," Hiccup ended the hug and conversation as he went upstairs, Toothless following behind.

…

A few minutes later Hiccup sat on his bed, leaning forward with his hands cradling his head. Both eyes were closed and nearly tearing up as he could see himself killing the Outcast once more. Watching himself stab the man over and over again… seeing the man's face… just… looking at him. Those eyes…all devoid of life, just staring right back.

He then opened his eyes.

Toothless sat before him, the dragon's green eyes focused right on him as he looked worried. The teen didn't know why but as he is alone with his dragon nothing, but dread filled him. It seemed as if the realization of the situation finally hitting him: If he hadn't killed the man… then it would be just him sitting in this room, and the black dragon wouldn't be there. This caused his heart to ache in worry, as it fully hit him.

He had no idea what came over him, but he just flung himself at his Dragon, wrapping his arms around the scaly neck. The Night Fury jumped at the action, looking down with big eyes, startled. "T-Toothless… I could have lost you If I hadn't killed him… he would have killed you."

Toothless cooed at his rider, knowing full well what he was talking about. He nuzzled the human and wrapped his fore paws around him. Nothing was said as a few soft sobs left the boy's mouth, and hot tears landed on the dry scales. They held this embrace for a bit before Hiccup pulled away softly, standing up and pacing around the room. His mind flinging back to the guilt he felt, and how he should be justified in what happened.

"I Still don't get it… I mean… he would have killed you… I had to do it but why do I have to pay for it? Why did Odin have to make it like this?" he said out loud and since his dragon is the only one present it was a one-sided conversation. "Dad says it's normal to feel this guilt but… Is that really true? If not does this make me a bad person?"

Toothless looked back and just shook his head. Fully knowing his rider isn't a bad person and in fact is the opposite. Too bad he couldn't say that in words.

"I just want to forget about this…but I doubt that's going to happen as the whole village heard me… they know what I did…But… Does that mean they'll expect more of me? Would…Would it mean they would expect me not to be affected by it as I am now…that I can't be seen as weak around them… or… be expected to kill again?" Hiccup thought about this worryingly. Being the chief's son, some may expect him to be taking lives already, maybe even earlier.

Once again Toothless shook his head, making Hiccup sigh, but then stopped pacing as he realized something.

"Oh, and the others!" he groaned at the thought of his friends came to him. He was curious as to how they would act towards him now. Snotlout and the twins would probably be ecstatic for him or the like. Maybe even want to celebrate it like it's a big affair. Yet how would Fishlegs and Astrid treat him? Would the be understanding and gentle about it? A lot of unknowns he rather not face at all. Still in the end only one thing mattered as he's still a big mess.

"I can't let anyone see me like this… not all… confused and scared," he sighed with his shoulders slumped. Ever since becoming the Dragon Conquer, well Dragon Trainer, a lot more was expected of him. Granted he was glad not to be considered useless anymore, but still it meant he had to prove himself in order not to earn back that title. Killing another man just added more expectations onto his shoulders. One he wouldn't be able to uphold.

"I can't show any weakness… I can't let anyone see how much this affected me. I have to be strong… I have to beat this and prove this isn't getting to me… prove it to dad as he put so much faith in me…and to myself especially," he said to himself as he let out a yawn, which reminded himself the reason why he came up.

Toothless saw this as well and decided it was time to go to sleep as well. Receiving one last pet from his rider the dragon went over to his slab of rock, circling it before lying back down on it. Once comfortable the Night Fury's ears and eyes perked as he found his human kneeling before him. A curious warble escaped him as he wasn't sure what else he could want.

"I'm sorry bud but… I just don't feel like sleeping alone after… you know," the human explained, not even sure if the dragon understood any of that. Yet, little did he know is that the dragons could understand everything, and Toothless agreed with this.

Shifting around a bit Toothless then reached out with a forepaw and brought his human in closer. Hiccup was caught off guard as he was brought into the dragon's embrace, and slowly ended up lying down on the stone slab. The dragon's wing wrapping up around him protectively, like a blanket. All in all, it wasn't really necessary as the scaly skin produced enough warmth as it was, but Hiccup wasn't complaining.

Eventually Hiccup got comfortable, being embraced by his dragon and closed his eyes, not knowing what was to come as he slept. Toothless on the other hand, held the human close, giving a small nuzzle. He completely understood what happened today and was grateful to be here to help his friend. Right before he too fell asleep, he let out a small warble.

"_**Thank you for saving my life,"**_is what the dragon had said.

**A/U: Hope you like. How did you like this turn of events? I thought it would be a good touch Toothless comforting Hiccup. But also can any of you guess where Hiccup could be going with his new mindset? I don't want to give away anything so I can't really comment on it. Once again if i got some facts wrong I apologize as that's the best I could do. Still I hope you all like this so please leave a comment and let me know how the story is going so far. I appreciate the feedback. **


	3. The Day After Part 1

**Author's Note:**** Hey there here is the latest chapter. I think this could have been done better but I think the purpose is made clear. Also this chapter was envisioned much longer than originally, but I didn't want it to be too long so I split it up into two chapters. Although i do see that it fits as it covers something different. I did my best with the reactions and after effects of kills so i'm hopping I got it right. Ugly-Duckling123 helped me with this chapter and couldn't have done better without her. Enjoy.**

Chapter 3: The Day After Part 1

Both eyes slowly opened as Hiccup started to come out of his slumber. Groaning he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes as his other senses slowly started to wake up as well. Once fully coherent the first things he noticed is the absence of warmth from his body. Curious, he looked around the room, only for an unexpected discovery to be made, "T-Toothless!?"

The dragon was nowhere in sight, his stone slab completely bare upon examination, which lead to another confusing revelation. The teen is in his bed! When he surly remembered that he was sleeping right next to Toothless last night. "Dad!?"

His voice rang out through the house but after a few seconds there wasn't a response. More confusion swelled up as the teen had thought his father wouldn't want to leave him in the house by himself. Especially not after with what had happened last night. Deciding to have a look Hiccup got out of bed and went downstairs. Both eyes looked around empty home, only to find the smoldering brazier, which had long since died out

Luckily there's still enough smoldering embers to illuminate the house for him, which helped. Looking around once more, his father is nowhere to be found at all, neither is his Night Fury. "Dad…Toothless!?"

Same as before no response is given…well not one that he wanted. "You did this."

The boy's body stiffen and eyes widen as he knew that voice didn't belong to his father…or anyone else he knew. Even if it was brief, he knew who that voice belonged to, and he couldn't believe it. currently in front of the table, he slowly started to turn to face the front door. Slowly but surely a figure appeared in his sight, and when realization hit him Hiccup could only pale and stare in disbelief.

"N-No…No…you're dead!" he gasped out in fright

The same Outcast soldier that tried to kill his dragon stood before the teen; body covered in bloody splotches as the stab wounds are visible. Both harden, hateful eyes locked onto the boy as he took a threatening step forward. "It is your fault…I'm dead because of you…It's your fault!"

Hiccup said nothing as he could do nothing but move backwards in panic. His body trembled violently and breathing staggered as he needed to get away from this man and fast. But his body wasn't responding the way he wanted it to as it seemed his fight or flight response were non-existent. Eventually, he ran out of room as his back bumped against the wall just as the Outcast stood inches away from him.

Leaning forward those eyes…those now dead eyes bore into him. They were filled with hurt, sadness and…blame. "I'll never forgive you for what you did."

…

"AHHH!" Hiccup cried out as his sat up in a haste, his senses coming back to life quickly as if he had been struck by lightning again. Apparently, this didn't go unnoticed as his movement woke Toothless up. The dragon violently reacted and stood up on his legs, both green eyes turning into slits as a growl left his mouth. Apparently, he thought there was another attack and readied himself to respond, but after looking around and finding nothing he looked and found his rider.

Hiccup sat where he was on the stone slab, panting heavily and sweating as it seemed like he saw a ghost. Looking around he found himself back in his room on Toothless's bed, right where he was last night. Slowly he started to calm down as he realized it was just a nightmare. His left hand laid flat against his chest as his heart felt like it would burst out of his chest.

Seeing that there wasn't any danger Toothless's eyes returned to normal as he sat down, now realizing what had happened. Nightmares weren't an uncommon thing for his rider to be plagued with as he started to have them ever since after the battle with Red Death. The dragon would wake up like he had hearing the human's screams. At times Stoick would hear and come and check on his son, and other times it was just the Night Fury himself that would wake. Apparently, this is one of the times where the chief didn't hear as there were no footsteps coming up, as the Scream must have not been loud enough.

Calming down a bit Hiccup looked up and found his dragon staring at him in concern. Slowly his mind put two and two together and could help but sigh as he reached out to pet him. "I'm sorry bud, I didn't mean to wake you."

Toothless leaned into the pets but warbled in confusion, trying to ask, 'Are you ok?'.

Looking around the teen couldn't help but blow another sigh of relief, "At least dad didn't come up. The last thing I need is for him to ask what happened." Toothless then gave him a small nuzzle of comfort, which brought a smile to the teen. "Don't worry bud it was just a nightmare, nothing more."

With that he got back to his feet and walked over to the window above his bed. Both eyes rose in surprise as he found the bright clear sky. Seeing the sun's position, he realized that it was the afternoon, more importantly almost time for lunch.

"I slept for that long?" he asked himself and of course realized his dad must have allowed it as he would need rest. He was somewhat grateful yet not fully as if he was woken up earlier, he might have not had the nightmare.

"_It's your fault"_

"AH!" Hiccup jumped and looked around the room in a small panic. Only Toothless was there, but he could have sworn another voice said something. He looked at his door, but found it closed. Surely his dad would have been the next one on his list, but he wasn't there. This had to be in his head, yeah that's what it is, his mind still isn't fully awake from that nightmare. "Ok Hiccup, calm down it's just your mind playing tricks on you."

He closed his eyes to take a few deep calming breaths…big mistake.

As he did the Outcast's face could be seen, exactly the same way he saw it in his nightmare. Those eyes boring into him…filled with hatred and looking right back at Hiccup…accusing him of the crime he committed. There were no words, the look upon his face was enough to get the message through. Hiccup opened his eyes with a loud gasp, once again feeling his heart pounding.

"T-This isn't good…what's happening?" he asked himself as he tried to calm down. By then Toothless went over by his side, warbling at him to try and ask what is wrong. Before he said anything, Hiccup thought back to last night with his conversation with his father, one of the statements that was said sticking out the most. "It'll always come back to haunt you…."

He started to pale once more as confusion overtook him as more questions came to him. Did this mean that he was going to see the man's face over and over again? No, that can't be right…yet why did it happen twice already? Oh, why did this have to happen? Yet, he had to think once more, was this the mental consequence his father was talking about? Revisiting the memory over and over again only to see the man he killed? It had to be, there was no other logical explanation to it. Yet the worst thing is that he's experiencing and learning about it the hard way.

Part of him wanted to ask his dad about this but then the more he thought about it made him refrain. Remembering all that he told himself last night. How he couldn't show anyone that killing the Outcast had gotten to him, even his father. Even if he was told to go to him if he needed anything at all. He was tempted but then remembered how his dad told him that he believed him to be strong enough to get through this. If that much confidence is being placed on him, then it only affirmed his stance on not showing it getting to him. Meaning, he couldn't go to his father for help, he had to show that confidence wasn't false. Hiccup then thought it would be best that he would try and not think about last night, keep it furthest away from his mind.

One questioned then came to him, how would he keep his mind busy?

…..

Stoick sat down at the table looking through various assessments of Berk's condition from the battle last night. Many of the homes damaged would need to be repaired, so they took priority. Another one showed the injury reports as some of the Vikings weren't fit enough to return back to duty. So, the chief would need to rearrange some of the guard shifts, and jobs, to keep things productive.

A frustrated sigh left his mouth as he rubbed his face with his hands. The life of chief is never easy, yet the life of a single father proved to be harder. Thinking about Hiccup he started to worry about his son's mental state. It was hard to read how he was feeling and waiting for him to wake proved to be difficult. After being invaded by the Outcasts and Berserkers Stoick would be needed outside the house, but he decided that his son took priority for the time being. So, he put Spitelout in charge until the afternoon, by then his son should be awake. He felt he should be here for him in case he had more questions, and if his son needed him.

"Hiccup?" Stoick called as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Looking up he found his son awake.

"Hey dad," the teen responded normally as he reached the bottom of the steps, Toothless not far behind.

"How are you feeling?" the bigger man stood up and walked up to his son.

"I'm ok," Hiccup lied, doing his best not to show it. "Sleeping helped a lot."

Stoick seemed to nod, buying the excuse for the time being but automatically knowing something was up yet didn't press it. "That's good. I thought it be best you rested."

"Thanks for that. Oh, and dad?" he caught his father's attention again. "T-Thanks…for the talk last night."

"Of course," he responded with a smile, glad it helped in some way. "Do you have anything else you want to ask? Something you didn't get a chance to ask last night?"

Hiccup sighed, ready to tell his dad a partial truth, but not all of it. Hopefully it would be enough as he didn't want to be pressed on the subject or show that he couldn't handle the stress of it. "Actually, dad I just don't want to think about it right now and push it away for the time being. Just to get my head cleared up."

Stoick was surprised at that response, as he didn't expect it. Either way his son might not be granted this request, as it would be out of his power. "That will be hard son, especially since it's the talk of the town."

That caused the boy to groan, rubbing a hand over his face, "Seriously?"

"I'm afraid so," Stoick went back to the table and sat down. "Not much can be done about it as news spreads fast. And the fact nearly everyone was there last night."

Before he could say anything else Hiccup's stomach growled, which didn't go unnoticed. Seeing as a way to get out of the conversation, the took the opportunity. "Well…I'm going to the Great Hall, then work at the Forge."

Stoick looked up in surprise and somewhat alarmed, "Hiccup I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why? I have to leave eventually, and I have to eat," the teen braced himself for another argument that usually follows.

"I don't mean that, I mean working at the forge…that's not a really good idea."

"Why not?" Hiccup argued, a bit surprised but still firm on his stance. "I do it all the time."

"Yet son, the forge will have weapons hanging around, and after what happened…well you can guess," Stoick had to explain, which slowly made both of his son's eyes slowly raise up as he too started to realize this. The blades that he would be working with, which can remind him of his knife, and how it was used last night.

Still, Hiccup couldn't let it know that it could bother him, "I can handle it dad…besides I best keep my mind busy and that's the best place to do so."

Stoick breathed deeply, knowing this was a terrible idea. Yet, his son did have a point, mainly since he had no idea how much the whole…incident is affecting him. Hiccup would just want to keep his mind cleared from what happened. Keeping his mind off of last night could be a big help to him. Still why did it need to be the forge? Why couldn't he go flying like he usually does? Still he would rather avoid arguing with the teen as his stubbornness would come into play. The chief is going to regret this, but he would allow it…mainly since he had a feeling Hiccup would do it regardless of what he said.

"Alright, but take things slow," he warned. "if it gets too much for you, then that's the end of it, understand?"

"Yes dad, I understand," Hiccup nodded, happy with those terms.

"Alright, be careful son," Stoick had said before looking down at his papers but looked back up for a brief moment. "And if today you need me for anything at all, just come find me."

"Thanks dad," with that Hiccup then headed for the door but stopped as he looked at one of the nearby chairs. Placed on top is his dagger, the blade cleaned as there is no sign of blood on it. Still, despite that the kid could still see it covered in the sticky substance. A shudder went through him as a brief flash of what it was used for came to mind… of what he did. Unconsciously he took a step away from it, not wanting to be near the weapon. His palms sweated and heart rate increased as nothing, but the blood-soaked image of the weapon wouldn't leave.

The realization that his father cleaned it up and put it there for him came to mind. Most likely wanting him to take it with him. He couldn't, he didn't even want to look at the blade and decided to leave it. He could tell his father is watching this, making Hiccup wondering if this was a test or something to gauge how he's feeling. Either way he turned away from the weapon and walked past it out the door, being followed behind by his dragon.

Stoick watched as his son leaving the weapon behind, sighing heavily. This fully confirming there is more wrong with his son than he's letting on.

_**Author's Note: Hope you like. Once again it may seem short but it was originally something bigger. I hope i'm getting things right as i'm doing the best with the information i have. If anyone has questions feel free to ask. Leave a review and tell me how i'm doing, it helps a lot. Till next time. **_


	4. The Day After Part 2

**Author's Note:**** Hey there, sorry for the wait, life has just gotten busier with me lately. I'm doing what I can with the story so I hope this one is good. Now this chapter is a bit longer, which is good for all of you since the next chapter will take a longer than usual to post. Mainly since i'm running into writer's block and i'm doing what I can to proceed on and make things just right. If you have any questions feel free. Enjoy.**

**Also as to answer a Guest Reviewer: rj, yes i'm going to finish this story. I have all intentions of finishing it. **

**The Second Guest Reviewer: Yes I am continuing it. **

Chapter 4: The Day After Part 2

Hiccup and Toothless made the trek up the long flight of stairs, enjoying the cool afternoon wind blowing past them both. Being outside helped in a way, as looking around the village and finding things surprisingly normal. Especially after last night when it was a battlefield; everyone seemed to be getting on with their lives as if nothing had happened. There were a few cleaning up the remains of last night, some carpenters fixing up the damaged houses. Even some talking with one another…yet he knew what the town gossip would be about. Thankfully no one saw him as and he didn't see anyone, yet that could mean only one thing.

Pushing the large doors to the Great hall open, the heavy wood creaking as they were moved. Once inside he looked forward and was mortified to see the place half filled with Vikings… all eyes turned to him thanks to the door. A few seconds passed as some still looked his way, others casually turned their attention elsewhere, still the teen could feel their eyes looking at him regardless. Whatever chatter was going on died down as well, making things all the more uncomfortable.

"Just great," he said to himself as he continued forward, Toothless walking by his side as it provided some comfort. "Just ignore them, pretend that nothing is wrong."

"He actually killed an Outcast last night?" a low voice could be heard, catching Hiccup's attention.

"That can't be true."

"It is, his clothes and weapon were covered in blood, none of it his."

Hiccup tried to block it all out, but part of his mind kept on listening as curiosity took a hold of him. What could the villagers really think about him after what happened? Normally he didn't like when people were talking about him behind his back, this was no exception. To him this only cemented what he thought, they could be expecting more of him because of this. Either way he can't show that it's getting to him.

"Wonder what could be going through his head," Another whisper went around.

"Never knew he had it in him."

"Not so loud he'll hear," another voice chastised the other.

Finally, Hiccup tuned out the voices and focused on getting his food. Getting a plate of chicken, bread and cheese he went to sit at the usual table he and his friends would occupy. Relief washed over him as he found it empty upon sitting down, Toothless lying down, right next to him. This was good and bad as it meant that either his friends had eaten and left already, or they haven't arrived yet. If that was the case, then he would best eat fast and get out of there.

Yet fate was cruel in some ways, mainly since he just sat there and looked down at his plate. The sudden hunger from earlier leaving him for the time being. He could still feel eyes on him, but didn't even look to see who was doing it, didn't they have anything better to do? Either way he was looking down at his food, lost in thought until a hand touched his shoulder causing the boy to jump.

"Whoa, sorry there Hiccup," Astrid had said, moving her hand away.

"M-My fault… I wasn't paying attention," Hiccup responded as he calmed down. Looking he found it was just Astrid and Fishlegs that arrived, each one of them taking a seat at the table. He mentally groaned as he realized his friends would be coming, yet something else came to mind. If he could get through this without any more incidents like from earlier then he should be fine…the rest should be easier for him, right?

"H-Hiccup are you ok?" Fishlegs asked cautiously, causing Hiccup to mentally groan again. Here we go. "I mean after with what happened last night, I would suspect that you wouldn't be. Well not like none of us would know as we never killed anyone before, but it's kind of obvious-"

"Fishlegs,' Hiccup called out, stopping the large teen's rambles as his body went ridged. "I'm ok… and I don't want to talk about what happened."

"Are you sure, I mean-"

"I'm sure," he responded back with a hint if seriousness. Not enough to warrant concern but enough to show that he's adamant about it.

Astrid and Fishlegs weren't sure what to do in this moment, as they weren't sure how to go about this. They had wanted to help their friend out last night, and now are getting their wish now but they weren't sure about it now. Mainly since the topic in question is way out of their league and weren't sure what was the right away to approach it.

On the outside they could see their friend is holding it together, but not sure if it was a front or not. Hiccup had always had a knack to look fine on the outside, yet he seemed to be a wreck on the inside. Still they decided to take his word for it, as Hiccup never steered them wrong before. "Alright, we won't talk about it further," Astrid had said.

"Thanks, really," Hiccup gave a smile, one of relief which didn't go unnoticed, but wasn't addressed thankfully.

"Wow, that looks bad," Fishlegs pointed to the bruise on the side of his face

Astrid heard and looked over at it, before Hiccup could cover it, "Whoa, does that hurt?"

"It's fine, don't worry about it," Hiccup said truthfully as it didn't hurt as much as last night. "Just…one of the…got hit by that Outcast…it's fine."

"You sure?" Astrid asked again, she and Fishlegs automatically knowing it was from the one he killed.

"Yeah, it's fine," he nodded. Thankfully they seemed to have picked up on it and left it alone. Things seemed to be going his way for now, which is good as he could maybe get through this meal.

"There he is, the Outcast killer!" Or not.

Looking up the three teens found it was an ecstatic Snotlout who made the comment. He came over along with the twins, all of them smiling as they took their own seats. Almost immediately it was known these three weren't going to respect Hiccup's wishes.

"Man, you must feel proud of yourself after what happened," Tuffnut beamed out as all eyes were on the one-legged teen.

"No Outcast or Berserker is going to want to mess with you once they hear what you did," Ruffnut followed up with the same enthusiasm as her brother.

"Guys I don't want-" Hiccup tried to say but his voice was overshadowed by the three.

"You know cuz, I have to admit. I had my doubts about you, but you proved me wrong last night by taking your first life. Snotlout smirked.

"Before you I might add," Tuffnut said, which annoyed the buffer teen but he just rolled his eyes.

"you know, now that I think of it, since you killed your first Outcast you should come up with a new title," Snotlout commented next. "One that can strike fear within our enemies, and let them know of the danger that awaits them."

"Yeah Dragon trainer doesn't strike fear into anyone," Tuff said next as he went into a thinking pose. "Oh, how the stabber! Goes great with how he killed the guy."

"No way that's lame just like you," Ruffnut rolled her eyes but thought of something as well. "How about Blood Shedder!"

Both of Hiccup's hands clenched as both eyes were cast down as he tried to fight the trembling that wanted to overtake him. None of the other riders saw this as they kept talking. The mention of blood only brought back at how he was covered in the stuff… He could still the wetness as it stuck to his body. Not only that, he could see the man dead in a pool of it. It wasn't helping as he could still hear everything.

"Or better yet, the Outcaster!" Snotlout said in triumph. "It has a good ring to it."

"Wow, that is totally true," Ruff said in amazement.

"Will you mutton heads shut up?!" Astrid firmly said, causing the trio to stop talking and focus on her as she has had enough. "Hiccup doesn't want to talk about last night, and I don't think it's helping with you three running your mouths."

"Oh, come on, Hiccup did something none of us thought he would do," Snotlout argued, not fazed by what the blond told him. "Don't you think he would want to bask in the glory that comes from killing his first Outcast and feel proud of it?"

"I don't think killing it is as glorious as you think it is," Fishlegs chimed in, surprised at what he's hearing.

"How would you know? You never killed anyone," Snotlout fired back at the timid teen, arms folded across his chest.

"Neither have you," Tuffnut responded back.

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" he complained, not expecting it.

"We're on no one's side except ours," Ruffnut said next.

"Hiccup, why don't you-"Astrid started off but stopped as she looked and found said teen gone, along with his dragon. "Hiccup!?"

All the other riders heard and looked, all of them surprised to find their leader gone.

Outside the Great Hall Hiccup stood atop the steps, bent over with his hands on his knees. Heavy breathing escaped him as he allowed his body to tremble. It was as if he experienced one of his nightmares again, worse as he wasn't even sleeping. He needed to calm down and get those mental images out of his head.

Straightening himself he then thought back to what he just did. He didn't want to leave his friends the way he did, but he had to get out of there before he lost control. There was no way he could do that right now…he has to be strong right now. Now that he realized it he looked down the steps to see if anyone saw him. Thankfully there was no one in sight, relief washing over him, as he is in the clear. He couldn't let anyone, especially his friends see him like this, no he had to be prove it to them all.

Toothless then nudged and cooed at him, which caught his attention without startling him. Looking over he saw concern on his dragon's face. "It's alright bud… it'll pass."

The dragon gave him a "I don't believe you" expression. Not that Hiccup could understand it. After a few minutes Hiccup felt at ease, finally calm and collected.

"Come on bud, let's just go to the forge, I'm not hungry anymore," Without even waiting for a response he walked down the stairs. Toothless looked at his rider, giving a huff before following. Why did his human have to be so stubborn?

…

By the time he reached the forge all the nerves had managed to subside for the time being, which is good as Hiccup would need a steady hand and focused mind. On his way he heard more of the villagers whispering about him, yet he managed to block them out as he rather not hear what they had to say. Entering he could see Gobber hard at work hammering at a sword, "Hey Gobber."

"Hiccup!" the larger man stopped what he was doing and looked at his apprentice with a look of surprise. "I wasn't expecting you today."

"Well I thought working here would help keep my mind busy," the teen responded as he put on his apron.

"Are you sure lad? I mean, because of what happened last night and all?" By now Gobber had stopped working completely to give his apprentice his undivided attention. Surely the lad would know that it might have not been a good idea being here after what happened. Fully knowing that it might bring up some unpleasant feelings. Part of him wondered if Stoick knew about this or not, as it would be like Hiccup to not let his father know.

"Don't worry, my dad allowed me to be here," Hiccup rolled his eyes, automatically knowing what he was thinking, last thing he needed is him doing the same thing as his father and ask questions. "Besides I rather not think about last night, I rather just keep my mind busy."

Gobber remained silent for a second, just watching Hiccup for a moment, trying to get a read on the boy's current feelings. The Blacksmith knew the consequences that came with taking a life, as he himself has taken quite a few and went through what he's going through himself. Yet this is different as Hiccup is still young and doesn't have the mindset to properly deal with it.

Still, he knew Hiccup would be somewhat honest with him because of how close they were. He looks ok on the outside, but who knows what kind of storm is raging from within. Still, he knows Hiccup would come to him if anything was wrong, so he might as well give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being.

"Alright lad, if you say you can handle it… but I'll be keeping a close eye on you just in case. If I see something that I don't like, then you're done." He laid it all out for the boy.

Hiccup blew a mental sigh of relief, yet knew he had to be careful now as he would be watched. Still, he would take it as a victory, "Thanks, Gobber."

"Of course," he nodded before he went back to hammering. "There's some weapons that need sharpening."

Nodding Hiccup walked over to the nearby pile and grabbed a random weapon. He felt somewhat relieved when it turned out to be an axe. Not sure why, but it just seemed to set him a bit at ease, yet he won't question it. Going to the sharpener and turned the wheel before pressing the blade against the surface.

"Hiccup!?" A voice called out, catching both blacksmiths attention.

It's then Astrid appeared at the front of the shop, who visibly relaxed upon locating her friend. "Oh, hey Astrid," he greeted.

"Hiccup are you ok? You just up and left without us knowing," the blond asked in concern, as she entered the shop like she always did.

"Yeah… I just had to get out of there, mainly since I lost my appetite," he explained slowly as he stopped working for a quick moment. It was best to give the female his undivided attention.

Astrid on the other hand just sighed in irritation, knowing what was wrong. "It was those mutton heads, wasn't it? Hiccup I'm sorry I tried to-"

"Astrid it's ok, you know Snotlout and the Twins, once they get started on something, they won't let it go until they said their piece," Hiccup explained partially.

"Still, I know you don't want to talk about…. you know what, but-"

Once more he cut her off, trying to keep the same demeanor he always had. "Don't worry I'll be fine."

Astrid didn't say anything at first, clearly picking up a hidden context within the message. Hiccup didn't want to discuss the issue any further and rather move onto something different. She decided to respect his wishes, so far as he has been through a lot already. Which then brought up something new. "Are you ok…mainly since I've hearing the villagers talking about you know what."

"Y-Yeah…I've heard them," Hiccup sighed with slumped shoulders. "Don't they have anything better to focus on than me?"

Astrid flinched a bit at the tone that last statement was spoken. It was an indication that he rather talk about something else. "So, are you still going to come down to the academy later?"

Hiccup's head perked up in confusion, but then remembered after searching his memory. They all were meeting up at the academy later to discuss the end result of last night's fight. Always the next day after a fight like the ones they had they would always go to the academy and talk about the tactics used and the results. They would also discuss any improvements that were to be made for the next time it happened.

"Oh, right. Yes, I'll be there after I finished working," Hiccup responded back.

"Alright, I'll see you there…. And also take care of yourself," she added in before giving her friend one last look and smile before walking off. Hiccup couldn't help but return it as it helped in a way, even if it was brief. Once she was out of sight, he resumed working, now trying to think how to get through meeting back up with the others. Hopefully they don't ask why he left too.

Some minutes passed as the two continued to work. Hiccup kept on sharpening weapons and is currently working on a short sword, so far so good as nothing bad had happened. The lad was working just as he usually does, which is a positive. Gobber had to admit that he may have been wrong about this and decided to give the boy a little bit of leash.

"Hiccup man the forge, I need to go out back and look through the scrap."

"I'm on it," the teen responded, taking his eyes off his work for a moment before returning back to it. His ears hearing Gobber walk off, leaving him alone once more, with the exception of Toothless sleeping just outside. Nothing but metal scrapping, and flying sparks could be heard or seen as slowly the boy's mind started to wander. Things were going good for right now; no more accidents like with Lunch. If he could just make it to the end of the day then maybe it should be easier, yes that had to be right.

"_Your Fault"_

"Gyah!" Hiccup shouted as he nicked his finger on the sword's edge, a low stream of blood seeping out. The sudden voice made him jump and touch the sharpened edge of the sword. Suddenly all thoughts of nursing his finger went away as he looked at the blood, which had now dripped onto the weapon. He started to pale as he watched the blood stain the steel… almost exactly how his dagger looked last night.

His breathing started to get heavy and uneven as the memory slowly flashed before his eyes. Watching himself bring his dagger down multiple times, the ringing in his ears as the Outcast's cries of pain filled his head. The sticky blood clinging onto his hands and clothes as the life slowly left those eyes. The same eyes that now looked back at him with contempt.

"_I'll never forgive you" _The man spoke with malice.

Dropping the sword and backing up, till his back hit the wall, Hiccup clutched his head and kept his eyes shut as he tried to block out the words. "It's not real…it's in your head."

"_It should be you, not me!" _

"You're dead…it's… It's not…" Tears swelled up as both of his legs gave out. The voice and memory slowly overwhelming him as he couldn't suppress it. On the ground the boy curled up, whimpering as the man's face appeared before him, just like in his nightmare. The same hatred, anger, and blame baring into his soul. "It's not real, It's not real!"

"_Hiccup…. Hiccup!" _All of a sudden, the teen's body started shaking as it felt like he was being grabbed, causing him to violently thrash in fear. For it being in his head it felt real enough as the man grabbed him.

"Hiccup snap out of it!" The man's voice suddenly sounded like Gobber, also a warble came as well. "Calm down lad, it's me!"

He finally opened his eyes and it all went away. His blood-soaked hands and clothes… the Outcast's dead body and face. He was back in the forge, curled up on the ground with his mentor kneeling before him, along with Toothless, both looking very concerned. Both of them could see relief yet panic on the boy's face, thoroughly confused as his body still trembled and breathing uneasy.

"Come on get up," Gobber helped his apprentice off the ground and sat him down on a nearby stool. Toothless sitting by his side. The teen didn't even need to look to see disappointment on his mentor's face. "I knew I shouldn't have let you work in here."

It took a moment for the boy to finally find his voice, "G-Gobber it was nothing-"

"Nothing? Hiccup you were practically cowering on the ground talking to something that wasn't there and you say it was nothing?!"

Hiccup cringe a bit at the chastisement he is receiving. It's bad enough that he had another episode, but worse of all someone found him like that, Gobber none the less. He just had to try and be convincing that it was nothing, yet he knew that would be a lost cause. "Gobber it really wasn't anything bad, I just cut my finger on accident."

Both of Gobber's eyes narrowed as he wasn't buying that, as he could read the boy like an open book. "I know a panic attack when it happens, and you displayed all the symptoms. This isn't a good thing Hiccup, clearly you killing that Outcast has affected you much more than you want to let on!"

Toothless grunted, almost as if it say, 'I told you so.'

"Well I-"He stopped as the blacksmith gave him one look that basically said, 'think carefully about your next words'. So, he said nothing, not even sure what could be said next would make a difference, and then braced himself for further chastisement.

Gobber saw a small bit of terror grace the boy's face and couldn't help but sigh. He knew very well that chastising the boy like this never gone well, but he couldn't help it. Being in the back and then startled hearing Hiccup's frantic voice, and equally more concerned seeing him curled up on the floor. He knew his first kill still fresh on his mind and the root cause of his panic.

He grabbed another stool and sat down, "I'm sorry, I know coming down on you like this isn't helping but Hiccup this is serious, why can't you realize this?" He leaned forward and tried to get a better grasp on what happened as the boy didn't respond. "You saw his face, didn't you? The Outcast you killed."

Hiccup only looked up at the man's face, a bit surprised even though he shouldn't. Mostly because other than his father he knew Gobber has killed as well, and right now he's just trying to help. He couldn't admit to what is happening, as it would show him being weak… although Gobber is the only human he could confine in when it comes to secrets.

There are many things the blacksmith knew that the teen didn't want anyone to know of. He trusted him with a lot of things. Gobber even saw him at his weakest, back when Snotlout and the Twins used to beat him up. He never judged him for anything and understood his plight. Maybe he could trust him not to say anything, what harm could just one person knowing, right?

He got more of a boost as Toothless nudged into his rider, almost saying to go on. Hiccup sighed once more as he petted his dragon as it helped some.

"Y-Yes, I did. I was sharpening the sword and I just heard a voice. It came out of nowhere and made me jump and cut myself. Some blood fell on the blade and…and…just the sight of it brought up the memory of last night," Hiccup explained, not everything as he might slowly work up to everything else.

"Did your father talk to you about this?" Gobber asked, wanting to be sure his friend explained everything.

"Yes, although I think I'm slowly experiencing the consequences of killing," he responded lowly, and words uneven. Shuddered from just thinking of his panic attack as he kept his eyes down. "And I don't like it."

There was a moment of eerie silence after that as Gobber heard the boy. He could hear the terror in his voice, and the tense posture his body Is in. Initially when he first came to the forge, he looked a bit uneasy but fine, but now he could clearly see that he needed help but wouldn't ask for it. "I'm going to have to tell your father about this."

"NO!" Hiccup practically shouted in alarm, which surprised Gobber. "I…I mean no Gobber, please don't tell him."

"Why?" the blacksmith asked in confusion. The lad hasn't acted like this since before meeting his dragon. There were times where he found the boy bruised and limping into the forge. He would always make up and excuse like he fell or wasn't looking where he was going. He would always keep his lips sealed, but whenever he brought up telling his father about it the boy would panic like he did now. It was like the boy was scared of his father, and the mention of it was proof. He would then tell the truth on how it was Snotlout or the Twins that ruffed him up.

More confusion swells up as to why he doesn't want his father to know about this. There was no more reason for him to be afraid of his father as the two have improved their relationship a great deal. Hiccup even went to him when he had some problems he couldn't solve. More than likely Stoick could help the boy a lot more with these issues but there is something preventing that.

"Please Gobber, just don't. I don't really want to talk about it but-"

"I think not talking about it is what caused all this," the older male responded back, making more valid points. Yet was curious as to why he didn't explain the reasoning for not telling Stoick. "Your father can help you-"

"Promise me, please," Hiccup pleaded. "Promise me you won't tell him… I will tell him but not yet."

This caused Gobber to sigh, fully knowing where this is going, "Hiccup-"

"Please!?" the boy pleaded once more with desperation. He could feel his heart racing and palms sweating from nervousness the situation had caused.

Gobber said nothing else, mulling it over in his head. Sometimes the promises made on Hiccup's part never came to fruition, it's what usually got him into more trouble. Still, he knows that the boy has a lot of trust in him. Maybe he could get the truth out of him if he chose to confide more to him… Yet this couldn't be a good idea as it could prove more damage than already it was. Yet, this problem could be solved just as easily. He would need to play along, for now. "Alright lad, I promise, but you have to tell him soon. You just can't let this problem go on and hope it resolves itself."

"Thank you… a-and I will," Hiccup looked visibly relieved as he got up and was about to go back to work. "I just need to clear my head and-"

"Oh no, you're not working here anymore, not after what I've seen," Hiccup was about to protest but Gobber beat him to it. He wanted to continue the conversation and find out why the lad is acting like this. Yet, from experience he knew he couldn't press any further, so the talk is over for now. "It's not up for negotiation, you need to get your head on straight, and it's not going to be working here."

Hiccup wanted to protest more but knew Gobber would hold firm as there would be no way to persuade him. He could be just as stubborn as his father, "Fine."

Without another word he took off his apron and put back on his vest. He headed out but stopped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hiccup just don't be afraid to talk about this. Don't let it go on more than it already is."

The teen only nodded at that, not even looking back, as he walked out of the forge, Toothless following right behind him. Gobber watched as his apprentice got smaller and smaller and released a sigh of displeasure. He knew this is serious and that he couldn't trust Hiccup to come forward willingly. So, he would have to do something about it, something that would definitely break the trust between them.

"I'm so sorry Hiccup," Gobber whispered as he went back to work, knowing he would have to make an extra stop later.

_**Author's Note: Hope you like. I'm not sure if I got the reaction right, but that's what I thought of when making this chapter. Still doing my best with the reactions. Like mentioned above the next chapter will take a lot longer than usual as i'm still thinking on it. Plus I may need a small break. Don't worry it won't be like a month or anything. I'll do what I can and finish this story. Any questions, then feel free to ask. Till next time. **_


	5. Betrayal

**Author's Note:**** I'm sorry for the wait, but like I said it would take me longer to update the story. Well I know this chapter is shorter than the last but I hope it's good for you. Also some more bad news i'm afraid. It's going to take me another long while to update. Mainly since we have some family issues coming to light, and it's more pressing at the moment. Plus, we're in a financial bind right now, need to get that settled. Still I'm going to do what I can to update when I can but it'll be a while longer for the next. Also because i'm experiencing writer's block. Man what a bad thing to have as well. Either way, enjoy the chapter. **

Chapter 5: Betrayal

Gobber kept on trying to tell himself that it needed to be done, even if it shattered the trust he held with Hiccup. That's the last thing that he needed to happen, and have that only link severed, and that would be the end of him helping the boy. Hopefully the lad wouldn't find out about this. Even though second thoughts plagued his mind. Part of him just wanted to forget about it and go back to the forge, and hope Hiccup would willingly explain his troubles. Still, he managed to hold firm on his stance as the boy's father needed to know about it. He trudged through the crowded village with the chief's house in his sights. An hour had passed since Hiccup left the forge, and the Blacksmith figured it would be a good time to talk to Stoick.

On the way he kept his eye out for either Hiccup or his Night Fury. The teen might be hard to spot but Toothless would stick out the most, even from a distance. Gobber wasn't sure what to do if he was spotted, Hiccup was smart and would instantly know what his mentor is up. There was no way he could explain himself and managed to get out of the confrontation without the boy getting mad. He just prayed to the gods that the teen would be away for a while longer. Hoping he was at the academy at this moment, like he overheard him and Astrid talking about earlier.

After walking up the large hill, on which the house rested upon, Gobber stood in front of the large door. Fully knowing his friend is inside still he knocked on the thick wooden door in front of him. "Yes!?" he heard, confirming that he could enter.

Pushing the door open Gobber walked into the home, both eyes looking around just in case Hiccup was inside before looking at his friend, who is still at the table. "Hello Stoick," he greeted once he fully knew it was safe.

"Gobber? What brings you here?" the chief greeted in surprise as he pushed his documents aside.

"Is Hiccup home?" the Blacksmith asked wearily, wanting to be extra sure as he approached.

"No, shouldn't he be with you at the forge?" Stoick asked, as a bit of fear started to swell up as the thought of him not showing up came to mind.

"Good," Gobber nodded as he moved to take a seat across from his friend, now catching the worried expression. "Oh, sorry, I only asked because I needed to talk to you in private."

"Oh, that's a relief," Stoick sighed for a moment, but then the worry returned as soon as his friend spoke.

"It is about Hiccup sadly," Gobber closed his eyes and took a breath, knowing he's going to do something he has never done before by telling the boy's father. "Stoick apparently him killing the Outcast last night has affected him a lot more than he wants anyone to know."

"What do you mean?" the chief asked, the concern and confusion only growing by the second. He knew something was wrong the moment his son walked down the stairs, but now he thought the worst."

"He was doing ok in the forge for a bit so I thought he could be left by himself for a bit while I went around back. I wasn't even back there a minute before I heard him calling out…well more like crying out. I went back and found him… curled up on the floor, scared and shouting out to someone that wasn't there."

"No…" Stoick had said in shock, both eyes widening.

"The lad basically had a panic attack," Gobber resumed with seriousness all over his face. He knows what his friend is thinking and couldn't blame him. "Stoick he mentally saw the man he killed and panicked."

A huge sigh left the bigger man as his hands rubbed all over his face, listening to what his friend had said. He tried to let it all sink in the best his could, as this only confirmed things and made the father worried much more. "I Knew working at the forge was a bad idea… I shouldn't have let him go; I knew something more was wrong with him."

"You did?"

Stoick nodded as he looked up at his surprised friend, nodding. "He seemed really frightened when he came down, but I didn't address it. Hiccup was never good when being confronted with things like this. I knew something else was bothering him. What's even worse is that he didn't even take his knife. I watched him look at it as fear appeared on his face, almost as if he experienced last night again. Then he just walked past it… I should have just confronted him about it."

"Stoick, Hiccup's mind is really fragile right now, who knows what's going on in his head. All I know is that he didn't want you to know about it," he said, which most defiantly caught the chief's attention, almost alarming him.

"What? But why? I told him to come to me if there were any more problems," Stoick was baffled at this. Shocked and a bit hurt. After talking to him last night and laying a lot on the table didn't his son trust his father enough to talk about what else is going on in his mind? Especially with something as serious as this.

"If I know Hiccup as well as I do, I think it's his pride that is the culprit," Gobber responded back, shaking his head. "I guess he's afraid of being vulnerable."

….

Hiccup softly grunted as he climbed through the large window into his room, being light on his feet as to not to make a sound. "Thanks bud," he said back softly to his dragon, who was outside.

Toothless was able to lift his rider high enough to allow him to enter his room carefully. Thankfully the dragon didn't make a sound as well. He just needed to go in and out as fast as he could without making a sound, and the window was the fastest option. Hiccup would rather prefer it this way as he didn't want to go through the front door and risk his father asking him anymore questions. The last thing he needs is having another episode in front of the man.

It's not like he didn't trust his father, that was far from the truth, in fact, it was quite the opposite. The boy wanted to go and just cry into his father's arms and ask what's going on with him. After all that happened, he wasn't sure what to do and wanted some more guidance on it. Yet he then would remember the most important thing is that he shouldn't show weakness. And asking for help like that more than qualified as weakness and showing fear. He couldn't do that and show he couldn't live up to all the expectations bestowed upon him.

Lost in thought his mind remembers life before meeting Toothless, and how his father was distant. He knew his father back then would tell him to be a man about what he felt and not let it bother him. Plus, would state that killing is something that comes with being a Viking and he should get used to it. He knew the other villagers would tell him the same thing and be disappointed that he's failing at not being a real Viking…again. This would leave him alone trying as he tries to deal with these thoughts in his mind. Only that time it would be a lot worse. Still the teen tried not to think about that as it was depressing. Yet…Berk has changed for the better…would they, even his father be ok with a small moment of weakness?

His mind going back to the conversation with Gobber and how he promised he would tell his dad about what happened. Part of him wanted to, just give in and go to his father for help. But… not yet. The fear is still with him, and it won in the end. He was going to push it back as far as he could, just to give him more time to figure all this out on his own. Only then he'll talk to his father…hopefully. Maybe, he could talk to Gobber later, and see if he could ease his fears back. Maybe that would make him more than comfortable to go to his father.

Still standing by the window he then remembered the reason why he came back home and went to his desk. Picking up two items, his notebook and charcoal pencil, and put them in his vest. Both were needed when he met the Riders, as he would need to write down notes, like he always did. With both items in hand all he had to do is just sneak out without a sound.

"You do know it's only going to get worse for him," the teen jumped at his father's voice.

Both eyes perked as he looked towards his door, worried as he might have been caught. Yet he was still alone in the room. It was then he saw that the door was left open and the voices poured in.

"That's why I had to tell you Stoick, I fear Hiccup would keep this to himself if it was his choice," A second voice responded with concern. "Besides I'm already taking a risk telling you all this."

"G-Gobber?" Hiccup softly gasped. Shock engulfed him as he carefully walked to the door and kneeled down, trying to hear better.

"No, Gobber, you did a good thing," Stoick tried to reassure his friend. "The only thing left is trying to help him, and that's if he will accept it."

"He's stubborn just like you, he'll just insist that nothing is wrong."

Hiccup ignored the rest of the conversation as his mouth hung open. Nothing but betrayal completely overcoming him as he realized what Gobber just did. _"I-I trusted you… You promised not to tell him!" _Hiccup thought in anger.

He actually thought he could explain everything to Gobber, as it could be his only solace out of all of Berk. Yet now that wasn't even a choice anymore. His mentor went behind his back and informed his father of everything… How can he trust his mentor with how he's feeling if he's just going to go and tell? Worst of all, now he has to be really careful around his father. Great, just great!

Hands clenching in anger Hiccup wanted to go down there and yell at Gobber for what he did. Yet managed to refrain from doing so with much restraint, which is causing him to tremble. He knew he had to get out of there quick before he made a sound. The last thing he needs is to be found eavesdropping, especially on a conversation regarding his wellbeing. Being extra careful, still fueled with anger, he made his way to the window and jumped out.

…..

Stoick held his head in both his hands, letting out a sadden sigh. "I wish Val was still here… Hiccup would be more tempted to go to her instead of me."

"You're doing the best you can," Gobber assured, knowing his friend is questioning himself as a parent. Like he always did. "There's no one better to talk to Hiccup about this than you."

"Yet you seemed to have gotten more out of him than I did, and that basically explains it all," He raised his head up, still disappointed at the fact his friend knew more about his son's condition. "I don't even know how to go about this when he comes home."

"That's simple, just make sure he feels safe and don't just confront him all of a sudden," Gobber started to explain what he knew, and what made the teen tick. "If he thinks he's being lured into a false sense of security he will get defensive. Most of all you have to hint at no matter what is said that your views on him won't change. He has to know and realize that he can let his guard down without consequence. Once that happens, he'll start talking."

"Why do I have a feeling you've done this plenty of times with him?" Stoick asked rhetorically. Part of him feeling like he failed as a father if someone who isn't blood related knew more about his son than himself. Worst of all he's getting parenting advice from someone who isn't even a parent himself. Talk about father of the year. "This is going to be hard."

"Be patient friend, you'll be fine," Gobber said. After a bit longer he then got up from his seat. "I risked being here long enough, I should go just in case he comes back."

Stoick nodded in agreement but remained seated. "If he says anything more to you about the matter, please tell me."

"Of course, I had planned on it," Gobber gave a grin before going to the door. Opening it he checked outside real quick. Looking around for Hiccup and Toothless among the crowds of Vikings. Once he knew it was safe, he exited the home, leaving the chief alone.

Stoick is once again alone in the house, and just sighed once more in worry…and failure. It's bad enough being chief after an attack on the village, but now he has to deal with his stubborn son who is hiding things once more. He truly did wish his wife was still around, he knew she could get Hiccup to open up way easier than himself. Still he's all the boy has left, and he would not fail his son like he did with Val. Ignoring the documents he decided to just clear his head, and more importantly figure out how he's going to talk to his son later on.

_**Author's Note: Like I said it's shorter but that's all I could come up with for this chapter. The next one will take a bit of time but like I said I will do my best to get things done, but it'll take a while longer. The next chapter is hard to write as well, because i'm not sure of what I have planned will make sense. Either way i'll do my best. Till next time. **_


	6. Confrontation

**Author's Note:**** I'm sorry for the wait. Like i said real life is getting hard right now. Plus I received some bad news, just some money problems that made me not want to write for the time being. Either way I hope you like this chapter, I really wanted for this to be good yet, I think I really deviated a bit from what I did. Still I got some positive feedback from a friend so i'm confident. Also I realized this story may be a bit longer as I would need to add another chapter. Still, I hope to hear from you about this, Enjoy. **

Chapter 6: Confrontation

There were so many things Hiccup would rather do at the moment. Go for another lap around the island on Toothless, go to the Cove to relax, or even go back to the Dragon Academy to work up more exercises for him and the other Dragon Riders to do for the coming days. Anything to avoid him going back home. Sadly, it wasn't in the cards as the moon stood high up in the air, blanketing all of Berk darkness to signal the end of the day. It didn't matter to the one-legged teen as he just wanted to be outside, but fatigue would get the better of him. Especially in Toothless as the dragon would tire just like him, and he knew it would be selfish to keep him outside longer than necessary. Even though the Night Fury never left his side all day, mainly as the dragon is real concerned from all that happened today.

After much thought Hiccup decided to risk it and go back home, but instead he would do the same thing as last time. Flying towards his home, he then had Toothless carefully aimed for the window into his room. Trying to be as quiet as possible the duo flew inside and landed on the ground, which creaked softly. Hiccup sighed in relief and got off his dragon, preparing to head to bed.

That is until the someone cleared their throat, the sound causing the teen to freeze.

Wincing he looked towards his door and found his father, sitting in a chair looking right at him. Both eyes widen in shock as he didn't even see him, nor the lantern that lit up his room. Has his father been waiting there for him? Wait did he know he would sneak in like this? How would he even know that, and what reason would he have for doing it? Either way this wasn't good at all. "D-Dad… w-what are you doing here?"

"We need to talk son," Stoick announced. Stifling a groan as he got up from the chair, clearly indicating he had been sitting there for a long while. After his talk with Gobber the chief decided to talk with his son, yet remember the state his son had been in. Chances are the boy wouldn't want to talk or risk a confrontation with him. So, after finishing his chief duties for the day Stoick went back home to wait for his son, yet also had to remember that his son is crafty. He would do anything to try and avoid coming through the front door, which meant there was another exit that could be exploited. So, the chief took a chair and headed up for his son's loft, sitting there and waiting for a good while. Looks like his hunch proved right.

"A-About what?" he nervously asked, mentally gulping and felt his heart race a bit more. Part of him wondered if his father knew he was listening in on him and Gobber earlier, but he was quiet during that, so there was no way he could have gotten caught…could he? Whatever it was his brain tried to figure out a way, to weasel out of this as he wasn't ready to deal with this. "Can't this wait till tomorrow, I really am tired and-"

"No this can't wait," the chief interrupted, clearly recognizing the tactic as Hiccup has used it to get out of serious conversations beforehand. It wouldn't work this time. Taking a few breaths, he then recalled back to Gobber's advice from earlier as he needed to make sure his son wasn't feeling like he's being cornered. He would need to keep things nice and calm and make the teen feel safe in his presence.

Easier said than done.

"W-What is this about?" Hiccup asked timidly, not wanting the answer to that question. If his father had to wait in here for him, he knew it would be nothing good. Plus, if he were to keep making up excuses to get out of the conversation it would only alert his father that there was something wrong. Part of him wanted to just jump out of the window, fully knowing Toothless would follow him. Yet, he had to refrain as that would basically be a confession to something in his father's eyes. He couldn't risk it.

"Be honest son, are you ok?" Stoick asked in a gentle voice, one laced with concern and honesty. He was probing for answers, yet he wanted to hear it come from the teen's mouth willingly.

"I'm fine dad…why do you ask?" Hiccup could have smacked himself for asking that follow-up question.

"Are you sure? Nothing else bothering you from…well you know what," The large man took a step forward, which struck Hiccup a bit odd. Mainly since this is a new approach his father is doing, as he never talked to him like this. Well, not when it came to something serious like mentioned, but It seemed familiar in some way.

He took a glance over at his dragon, seeing Toothless sitting loyally at his side yet watching as well. The Night Fury looked up at his rider and warbled, a clear indication of _"talk to him." _

Hiccup could only sigh and gave an irritated look. His dragon is supposed to be helping him, not his dad. And Toothless knew how much he is trying to avoid this confrontation, yet maybe that's why he's being pushed into it. Either way, the silence coming from the teen is only giving his father more reason to believe something is wrong.

"I just don't want to talk about it," Is all the boy said, causing his dragon to huff at his rider, looking displeased at the answer.

"Are you sure? Because Toothless seems to think otherwise," Stoick responded, the dragon nodded in agreement. He then realized that was a bad move and decided to move on before the accusation could be taken the wrong way. "Son, you know if you have a problem, it's alright to tell me. I know talks like this in the past were…difficult, but I'm trying to do my best to help you if there's a problem on your mind."

Stoick could see his son's shoulders visible relax some as the tenseness seem to loosen up. This was good in his opinion, Hiccup seemed pretty defensive when he realized he was in the room, so maybe now he's softening up. He just had to keep this up and hopefully his son will talk to him.

"I've…been noticing that as well," Hiccup couldn't help but respond back. He didn't know why but his father's presence didn't seem as threatening as it was. He could hear the concern and honesty in his voice, and it was nice. It was like how Gobber would talk to him whenever he showed up at the forge hurt, mainly from the beatings his cousin and the twins gave him. He then looked at Toothless, his dragon nodding and motioning for him to trust his father. Maybe he really did want to help, maybe showing some weakness right now wouldn't hurt as it could stay between them. No one else had to know, right? "M-Maybe…something is on my mind."

Stoick looked visibly relieved at that, mentally cheering that the advice worked. "Ok, because I've noticed that something may be on your mind as of late, which could be bothering you."

Big mistake

'You've… Noticed?" Hiccup responded back slowly, his voice showing surprise, but in reality, there is some rising anger laced in it.

"Yes, I have," Stoick said, hoping his son would buy it. He needed to subtlety bring up the main topic of concern without admitting to it being Gobber who told him. His friend could be the only one that could get the truth out of his son in case this talk failed. He prayed to Odin that it didn't fail. "And I'm just concerned."

Both of Hiccup's eyes narrowed as the anger swelled up from within him. His body tensed up more as all thoughts of talking do his father were thrown out the window. He knew his father is covering up for Gobber by saying that he noticed things, meaning he's basically lying to him right now. This was something his father had told him that he would try not to do anymore as a way to help mend their relationship… Which at this point has taken a hit by now. A part of his mind is taking this out of proportion, but the rational side isn't working right now. Maybe it was because he didn't want to be lied to, or maybe he secretly tried to find a way to get out of the conversation still, either way things were not going to end pleasantly.

"No, you haven't," Hiccup then said without thinking, hiding the shock once realization hit him. Normally he would try and cover up what was said, but for some reason he decided to go with it.

"What?" Stoick said in surprise and shock. Toothless looking at his rider, somehow sensing the anger that is building up, and knowing things were about to get worse.

"You haven't noticed… you have haven't seen me except for this afternoon…stop lying to me," the boy managed to say, barely able to keep his anger in check.

Both of the chief's eyes rose in concern and surprise. The tone in which his son spoke to him held such malice… but towards what exactly, or better yet who? "Hiccup… I'm not-"

"You are lying!" Hiccup interrupted, voice raised, which surprised both his father and dragon. Before his father could even speak, or before his mind could catch up, he blurted it out. "I heard you…you and Gobber!"

Both of Stoick's eyes widen in shock and seeing no reaction from Hiccup confirmed that he was telling the truth. By then Stoick could see the anger radiating from his son, hands clenched and body trembling some, but not from fear but anger. Yet the puzzling question: Was the boy mad at Gobber? Or at himself? Or both of them? Hiccup on the other hand mentally started to sweat. He didn't want to say that but it like it came out and he had no control over it. Either way it was out in the open and now he had to face the repercussions of his own actions.

Seeing as there was no reason to keep it hidden anymore Stoick just decided to do what he could to quell his son's anger. "Hiccup, you don't understand-"

"I perfectly understand!" he shouted, letting the anger take over, ignoring Toothless' attempts to calm him. "I can't trust Gobber anymore, the one person who I thought would keep his mouth shut…goes behind my back and tells you!"

"Hiccup this is serious!" Stoick shouted back. He knew yelling wouldn't help but his son's stubbornness is preventing him from getting a word in. He could already feel his chances at helping his son dwindling. "Having a panic attack is nothing to take lightly. Especially, when you see the man you killed… keeping it in won't help you, believe me."

"How can I believe you when you just lied to me just now?" Hiccup calmly responded back. He didn't want to keep using the lying card, but all sense of reason left his mind. "You could have just told me that Gobber talked to you…maybe then I would have been just a bit more willing to talk with you." Even though they both new it was a lie.

"Are you sure about that?" Stoick rhetorically asked, fully knowing that statement was just an excuse.

"Y-Yeah…but you won't know now," Hiccup responded back, sadly knowing that wasn't going to help him like he hoped.

"Either way we should talk about this," Stoick argued, not wanting to get off topic and waste time defending himself and Gobber. "Calmly and honestly."

"I don't want to talk about it, the more I think about what I did…how close Toothless came to being killed, the more it plagues me! The last thing I want to do is to relive that moment!" Hiccup practically shouted in displeasure, no longer caring that he's yelling at his father. His emotions were out of control and he did nothing to rear them in. Maybe this was a good way to vent, even if it meant taking unwanted anger out on his father.

Stoick knew that the yelling wasn't his son's fault, so he decided to let it slide for the time being. "Hiccup it's more important to talk about it now. You don't know what you're-"

"You're the one who said you had confidence within me to handle this. I know for a fact that not thinking about it can help…are you going back on what you said? Do you actually have no confidence in me to deal with this on my own!?" Hiccup said next, using what his father had said against him. Yet in a way he meant every word that he said… he thinks.

Stoick opened his mouth to respond but for some reason held his tongue. His mind now mulling over what was shouted at him. It's true that he had confidence within his son to get past this. Yet, does trying to force him to talk about the problem mean that he no longer held that confidence? Is Hiccup right into not discussing it? But to be honest he knew his son is going about this all wrong, but it seemed as if the teen isn't listening to reason now. If he were to tell his son all this there is no doubt he would try and keep pushing him away.

Still in the past Hiccup has proven to be able to handle situations that proved to be difficult and dangerous all by himself. Yet at times his friends were there or at least Toothless. He then remembered all the times he never listened to his son, when he should have. Maybe his son was right about this one. The only way for him to find out if it's true is just leaving him be. This could be a big mistake… but what other option is there? He couldn't just tie his son down and force him to listen, it would never work. He would just have to put his faith in his son and hope for the best.

Sighing heavily, he looked right back at the boy, "Alright son."

"What?" All the anger vanished from the teen upon hearing this. He couldn't believe his ears as his father just gave in like that.

"I do believe in you, that you can get through this…and if you say that not talking about it will help. I'll trust your judgement." It saddens Stoick as he decided to let his son win this battle, yet, he would have to trust him in knowing what to do… besides he would come seeking help eventually…right?

"Well…uh…thanks dad," is all Hiccup could say as he's still surprised at the turn of events. He had expected much more insistence, yet he wondered if his father was up to something but didn't question it any further. Mainly since it seems like the conversation is done with…for now.

Stoick then headed for the door but stopped right before going through. Turning around he gave one last look at his son and spoke as sincere as possible. "I love you son. I'll be here for you when you decide to seek help. No matter the time of day…I'll be here to listen." With that the chief then left the room, leaving Hiccup and Toothless alone in the room, much to the teen's surprise and sadness. He actually thought his father would fight harder on this topic, yet now of all time he's respecting his wishes.

Sighing deeply he sat on his bed, looking down at the floor despite Toothless looking right at him. The conversation was over with, and he got what he had wanted. Yet, why did it feel like it was a big mistake?

…

That night Stoick laid awake in bed, promptly looking up at the ceiling above. Fully knowing that right above him is Hiccup's room. Sleep had managed to elude him as concern for his son flooded his mind. He mentally chastised himself over and over for not pressing the subject, as he felt this could come back to haunt him later on. How could it not? Mostly every decision like this always seemed to have come back to bite him back.

Many nights in the past Stoick had laid awake just as he currently did. Always happening whenever his son would do something that warrants concern. Like how he was sleeping after the fight with the Red Death… or like how he was Kidnapped by Alvin, now this. His parental side is screaming at him to go up and talk with Hiccup again and try to get him to open up, but this time stick to it. Yet, he wanted to respect his son's wishes most of all and hope he could actually pull through with this.

First kills were something that couldn't be taken lightly nor could it be ignored. Yet he meant what he said to Hiccup when they talked last, he really did believe his son could get through this. The teen, despite his appearance, is far stronger than any Viking on Berk. He may not possess the strength of a Viking but he more than made up for it when it came to mental strength. The teen never gives up when the situation seems grim and managed to change all of Berk for the better. How can someone like Hiccup not be able to get through this by himself?

Well Stoick would have to wait and see if his choice was the right one after all.

"_AHHH!"_

The slightly muffled scream managed to reach the chief's ears, causing him to immediately sit up in his bed. "Hiccup," he breathed out softly as his parental side won this battle. Getting out of bed he then ran up to his son's loft.

Hiccup trembled as he panted profusely and is covered in a cold sweat. Just like the night before he dreamt of the same man, who just kept staring at him with the same hate as before. He kept on accusing the teen with such malice and repeated how it should have been him instead. A soft coo caused him to look forward, seeing that Toothless awoke and is by his side. His door opened, causing the boy to flinch and look over only to see his father had entered, just perfect.

"Hiccup," the man called out as he came to his son's side. For a moment nothing was said Stoick waited for his son to calm down from his dream fully knowing what was going on. Despite what he had said before he couldn't help but ask. "You saw his face again, didn't you?"

"Y-Yes," Hiccup responded in a low voice. The teen wasn't sure why he answered, it just felt right to do so. Part of him was glad his father is here as he didn't feel alone at the moment, didn't feel scared. Yet his mind finally caught up with him to remember the conversation from earlier. He then expected his father to want to ask him to talk about his dream and maybe get him to open up. He mentally groaned at this thought…yet why did it feel like something he wouldn't have minded?

"Are you going to be ok?" Stoick then asked, much to Hiccup's surprise.

"Um…y-yeah…I think so," Hiccup said unsurely, mainly since those were the only words that would come to him. He wasn't sure why his dad asked that, wasn't he going to pry in more?

"Alright son," Stoick said, ruffling his son's hair before getting back up. "If you need anything still, just come get me."

And to Hiccup's surprise his father left the room, leaving him and his dragon alone once more. He wasn't even able to say anything during this as his brain didn't fully register what had happened. Why did his father not try to get him to talk about his dream, or the like? This is completely unlike him… well at least up to the point after his fight with Red Death. Whenever Hiccup had a nightmare, which happened to be recurring a few weeks after waking up from his coma.

Every time his father, whenever the man heard him, would come up and check on his son. Then he would comfort and talk with him for a bit before going back to sleep. Stoick indeed checked on him, but that's all… which was weird. But then both eyes widen as he remembered that his father agreed to leave him be to deal with this problem. Was he really sticking to his word and allowing him to sort this out by himself?

A small warble brought Hiccup back to his senses, looking over at the Night Fury. Seeing the same confusion and worry on his face. Sighing the teen then petted his Dragon, "Was I wrong in asking him to leave me be?"

Toothless looked up at his human and shrugged. In all honesty he had no idea what the boy wanted right now. At first, he wanted to be left alone to deal with the problem, yet now it looked like he wanted to talk. It confused the dragon so much that he couldn't be much help right now. He asked to be left alone and that is what he got. Still, no matter what the dragon would be here for him.

"I don't even know anymore," Hiccup admitted to his friend. He honestly didn't know how he should feel about this. Be happy that his father is listening to him enough to respect his wishes. Or be disappointed that he wasn't pressed further for what is troubling him, he had no idea. He tried to push it out of his mind, only to be reminded of his nightmare. How long would he be able to keep going on like this? How many times can he endure seeing the man's face?

His breathing hitched and a shudder went down his spine as he thought of him. Oh, how he just wanted to forget about that face… why did he have to kill him? Yet the answer is right next to him as Toothless gave him a nuzzle. If the teen hadn't killed that Outcast chances are, he would still be having nightmares, but over the fact that his dragon was killed and no longer by his side like now. Oh, how he wanted to talk to his father right now about it… but that would mean proving his father wrong about him being able to endure this. Yet, would that be the case, or would it even matter anymore?

"No… I can't go to him…well…at least not yet," Hiccup said to himself in a low voice. "I have to get through this by myself now…I have to show I'm strong enough to endure this. I can't show weakness."

Nothing else was said as Hiccup laid back down in his bed, a bit surprised as Toothless laid his head on his belly. Apparently when the Night Fury did this it meant that he was going to sleep here, right next to his rider.

"Thanks bud," The teen appreciated this and gave his dragon a few more pets before closing his eyes, hoping he wouldn't have another nightmare.

Now that his father is letting the teen handle this on his own, Hiccup doesn't have to worry about hiding things now nor worry about being confronted. He's on his own to deal with these emotions and he's fine with it. Yet how come the thought of being on his own brought a pang of fear within him?

_**Author's Note: Hope you like. I always felt that Stoick and Hiccup would have a conversation like this. Hiccup was so close to breaking down but refrained. Was it because of fear or not? Either way now he's on his own, and is starting to regret his decision in some way. Yet Stoick does believe that Hiccup can make it through this, and doesn't want to make the mistake of not listening to his son again, even though this time around it may be the wrong call. Still I have plenty more to come. I'll try with the next chapter but things might get hard in real life for me. Still I'll do what i can. Till next time. **_


	7. Uncertainty

**Author's Note: ****Hi there, i'm very sorry for the long wait. Been having more real life problems, financial once more sadly. Now initially this chapter wasn't really planned from the beginning. The more I went along the more I realized I may needed a bit of a build up for the next part. I hope it sets things up for what is about to come. The next chapter is a pain for me so far, still i'm trying to get it done. Enjoy. **

Chapter 7: Uncertainty

"So… how has Hiccup been?" Gobber asked his friend with concern.

"Worse than he lets on," Stoick responded back in a soft, yet concerned, tone as he looked across the Great Hall, his eyes resting upon his son. Hiccup sat down at the usual table he and his friends tend to occupy. The boy's head down as he didn't participate in the ongoing conversation his friends seemed to be having, opting to just listen or not. This caused the chief to sigh heavily, fully knowing what was going on in his child's head, and to be honest it made him look like a wreck. "I'm not sure how much longer he can last."

"Then why don't you talk to him again?" Gobber spoke up, he too looking over at his apprentice and seeing what his friend saw. Head visibly shaking as he took in the lad's appearance. Face a bit pale, but not enough to be concerned. Dark circles seeming to form under his eyes as the boy looked exhausted. Trembling every now and then as well as some fidgety hands. Yet, as far as they knew no one wouldn't notice this unless they were looking for it.

"Because he's doesn't want it, Hiccup wants to handle this by himself… And I'm trying to respect that," Stoick admitted painfully, even though he knew that it was a terrible idea to begin with. After the conversation he had with his son, which happened four days ago, Stoick had told Gobber what had happened. Which included how he overheard their conversation and the boy's anger over everything.

The blacksmith was disheartened upon hearing that Hiccup couldn't trust him anymore. It didn't end there unfortunately as Hiccup seemed to be ignoring his mentor. This is was evident when the teen didn't come back to the forge after his panic attack before. Also, any other time the blacksmith saw Hiccup around he would try to approach him, but the boy would just keep walking and not say a word. Gobber couldn't help but notice a scowl on the boy's face every time they met, one that held anger as it was aimed towards his mentor. Even though he tried his best to talk to the lad Hiccup wouldn't listen at all. Gobber had to face the facts that there was no way he could help the boy anymore like he had hoped. Yet he didn't regret his actions at all.

Stoick on the other hand was completely worried about his son. Ever since he agreed to allow him to get over this problem on his own, he had kept true to his promise. It pained the chief that he could only watch as his son fell deeper into turmoil as he let things go on. Hearing him wake up screaming due to nightmares, becoming less social every time he came downstairs, and looking just plain rundown. It hurt him a lot to see Hiccup like that but knew he had to respect his son's wish, hoping this could win some trust back. He had prayed to the gods that Hiccup would come to his senses and seek him out for help. It was the only thing the father could hope for to help his son, as he didn't want Hiccup doing anything over the top as a result of his own decisions.

Stoick also couldn't help but think about all his past choices and how it affected his son. All those times looking for the dragon's nest and leaving Hiccup all alone due to it. Putting his duties as chief ahead of being a father, and making Hiccup feel as if he didn't matter. Going up against the Red Death despite being warned… which cost Hiccup his leg. They were bad choices that came with heavy consequences… hopefully the choice to leave Hiccup be wouldn't be one of those bad ones, but he's having doubts.

"I was so close… He was actually ready to tell me until-" Stoick spoke, explaining more to Gobber, and remembering how Hiccup was relaxing during their talk, only until one phrase set him off. "Until I said something wrong."

"From what you tell me I think he was looking for an excuse," Gobber explained.

"Still…I was so close…now he's suffering because of it."

"Stoick, you're going have to do something eventually," Gobber chimed in with concern. "You know how stubborn he is, he'll keep all this bottled up until it can't be contained anymore, and then we'll have a huge problem on our hands."

"He doesn't want help… well at least maybe not from us," Stoick responded back as they looked back at the table, seeing the other riders wear looks of concern as well. If he and Gobber could do anything to help Hiccup, then the chief prayed that his son's friends would do something for him. Because now that he thought about it, they were the boy's last hope.

…..

Hiccup was lost in thought as he looked down at the plate of food in front of him. Hardly anything had been touched as he wasn't feeling as hungry than when he woke. He wasn't even focused on eating as his mind was occupied with other things he didn't want to think of. Still he tried his best not to show that something is wrong. Last thing he needed is to draw even more attention onto himself.

If he had to talk with anyone he would try to put on a face and pretend nothing was going on. If anyone asked, he was doing ok, and wanted nothing more than not to think about it. If one were to take a glance, they would see he is calm and collective in appearance. Yet, it was quite the opposite as the teen was a huge mess on the inside. Now and then he would still hear the man's voice at random, making him jump with fright. Then every time he closed his eyes he would be there too with the same cold, dead expression baring into him. Every time he slept a nightmare would follow, waking him up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. His father did come check on him, but that's all he did. Never did he ask questions or demand an explanation. He was doing exactly what Hiccup wanted and leaving him to deal with it, and the teen was glad for that… partially now.

He hasn't been able to sleep properly because of the nightmares, which he couldn't get used to. His body tired to but refused to drift off as he wanted to avoid another nightmare, which would only jolt him awake. He tried his best to get by, but fatigue would eventually catch up to him, and by then he would just have to endure the nightmare that followed. He wasn't sure how much more he could take of this, hopefully it wouldn't go on for much longer as-

"Hiccup!"

The teen is jolted from his train of thought with a jump as he quickly looked around for the source of the voice. His breathing slightly increased but eased upon finding that the other riders are looking at him. "What? Did you say something?"

The voice belonged to Astrid as she and the others looked upon their leader with concern. They were talking and noticed him just staying at his plate, lost in thought. They called his name several times, but he only answered just now, with a bit of fright. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just plenty on my mind, nothing to be concerned about," Hiccup casually tried to pass off. Hopefully they would buy it, yet he didn't know that they were past trying to be tricked. Sensing something wasn't right Hiccup tried to change the subject, "So what were you trying to say?"

"We were talking about the training exercise we're going to do tomorrow," Astrid spoke up for them all, deciding to let him have this one right now.

"Training exercise?" Hiccup questioned with raised eyes. He most definitely didn't know anything about that.

"Weren't you listening?" Snotlout questioned in disbelief. "It's Astrid's turn to pick the exercise we do, and she was going over it."

"I didn't exactly say what it was," the blond Viking responded back.

"Oh, that's good, because we weren't listening either," Ruffnut responded as her brother sighed in relief as well.

"So, what are we doing exactly?" Hiccup asked for everyone, still a bit confused.

"It'll be a surprise," she smiled, as everyone groaned. "All I can tell you is that it'll be on dragon island."

"You know Astrid, for loving you the way I do, I don't love your surprises," Snotlout commented sourly, making Astrid roll her eyes.

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that," Astrid said before she continued on. "So, remember to pack essentials you need, plus any weapons just in case."

That last remark caused Hiccup's eyes to widen, luckily no one else saw it as he looked away for a moment. Ever since killing the Outcast Hiccup hasn't carried his weapon at all as he still couldn't wield it. Anytime he just looked at it flashbacks to that night would come back, and just make him even more unsettled. Now it was starting get like that with any weapon. Now he was being expected to carry one for tomorrow's training exercise. In all honesty Hiccup thought he wouldn't need it, but anything could happen, and Hiccup knew he couldn't always rely on Toothless for help. It was evident when his dragon was wrapped up in the bolas and he had to protect him. The teen didn't want to be back in that kind of situation at all, who knows what could happen this time.

"So, we all are in agreement?" Astrid then asked, luckily catching Hiccup's attention.

"Yes," they all said in unison.

"Good, because we all-" Astrid started off but stopped as Hiccup got up. "Something wrong?"

"I need some air," is all the one-legged teen said as he walked away from the table, fully knowing all eyes were on him as he exited the Great Hall.

Once their leader was gone Fishlegs sighed and looked at everyone else, looking troubled, "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Why not?" Astrid asked. "You know he's going to continue to get worse."

"Astrid's right," Snotlout genuinely agreed. "Even though Hiccup's first kill is amazing I miss having my sarcastic cousin around. Right now, he's just depressing to be around."

"And jumpy," Tuffnut added. "You can't sneak up on him without him nearly screaming.

"Either way, you all see how he looks," Astrid pointed out, which they all couldn't help but agree to. "It's only going to get worse unless we get him to talk about it. If he won't say anything to Stoick then maybe he'll confine in us. I know it's lying but it could be our only chance at helping him."

The others were quiet at this, nervous as to what could come from tomorrow. They had no idea how Hiccup would react to the truth, nor what he would do as a result. Yet, in the end, they knew she was right. Hiccup needed help and they were going to do whatever they could to help their friend.

…

Hiccup sighed in relief upon entering his home and finding it empty. It was just him and Toothless, it was all he needs right now. Walking a few steps in, he then sat down in one of the chairs near the fire. Seeing as the flames were getting low Hiccup tossed another log in it, bring life back into the brazier. Toothless sat down next to his rider, keeping both eyes on the human in concern, as a small coo leaving his mouth.

"I'm fine Toothless… just… thinking about tomorrow," Hiccup explained softly, not taking his eyes off the flames in front of him.

In all honesty the teen wasn't sure about the exercise with the other Riders. True, he was open to their suggestions for exercises as everyone got a turn on what they would do. Even Snotlout and the Twins had a voice in it. Yet, for some reason he just felt like he wasn't ready to leave the island… but he couldn't voice this concern. Especially to his friends as they might see this as fear, and there was no way he could do this. He couldn't be weak in front of them, he's the leader after all and they have to be fearless and strong. Still he didn't want this to happen at all.

In the end he knew he had to, he needed to be strong and show his friends that this kill hadn't affected him in the slightest. Besides the more he thought about it, what could go wrong? It was just an exercise on Dragon Island, nothing more. Yet, why did it feel dangerous than it let on to be?

"No, no, I'm just overthinking things, there's no way something like what happed is likely to repeat itself," Hiccup's hand went up to rub his face, his mind slowly slipping back to that night. Luckily a nudge from his dragon managed to pull him back. Sighing he petted his dragon back, "I know Toothless… I know."

Toothless warbled back in response. 'Do you?'

Almost as if he was reading his dragon's thoughts Hiccup turned to the Night Fury, "Do you think I've been unreasonable?"

Toothless tilted his head and warbled back in response, 'You've been unreasonable since the beginning.'

Hiccup scratched his dragon under the chin, smiling as he saw him lean into the scratches. "I can hardly sleep…I keep seeing him…why isn't it working? Why can't I stop thinking about it? Is there more to it? Am I supposed to do more than not thinking about it… like dad said?"

'Talk to him' Toothless cooed.

"Maybe," Hiccup softly said, turning and watching the fire once more, entranced by the dancing flames and bright colors. He had about reached the threshold on what he could endure, and worried what would happen if he was pushed too far. "Maybe after the training exercise tomorrow… I'll-I'll say something… let's see how I feel first. Either way I'm doing good so far… No more whispers, well not as much… yet maybe I can truly show them it hasn't gotten to me… but how?"

Nothing but silence followed as he had nothing to follow up with. He had no idea on how to show that his first kill still hasn't bothered him. Normally he would blame it on the tiredness he is currently feeling, mainly as it barely allowed him to sleep and made him unfocused. Yet, he couldn't make up any more excuses, there was no way that he knew of that could be done.

Toothless nudged his rider, warbling. 'I'll stand by you no matter what… just please don't let this go too far.'

Hiccup nodded as he stood up from his seat, yawning as fatigue started to take him once more. Thoughts of taking a nap came to mind yet wasn't sure if sleeping was a good idea right now. But he would need to be rested for tomorrow as he couldn't let anything slip up. Despite the nightmares that would surely plague him, he would still have to try. Heading for the stairs something caught his eye. A chair is resting against the wall, near the stairs, lying upon it is his knife. Both of his eyes widen upon seeing it, body frozen, and heart starting to race. Toothless noticed this as well, now looking up at his rider, waiting to see what he is going to do next.

Hiccup on the other hand is too lost in thought as he couldn't tear his eyes off the knife. This one tool is responsible for all of what he is going through, for making it possible to kill that Outcast. He could see no traces of blood at all on the blade, nor the handle. Yet, mentally Hiccup could still see the sticky crimson staining it. His hands started to tremble, but he reduced it by clenching his hands into fists.

He had no idea of what was going to happen the next day, fear of being attacked again plagued his mind once more. If they were ever in that situation again where Toothless was helpless, could Hiccup actually be ready to kill to save his friend again? Would he be able to? Would it be easier this time around, or more difficult? Yet this hesitation he Is currently experiencing is what could get his dragon killed. He prevented it the first time, yet could he do it again? Yet, what if it wasn't just Toothless? What if his friend's lives were on the line and it was up to him to save them? Could he do it again? This very weapon could be the answer and tool to help him.

Part of him wanted to go over and grab the weapon, but his body remained firmly footed into the ground. The scared part of him not wanting anything to do with the dagger as it's the sole reason why he's in this state. Part of his mind also told Hiccup that they will be fine, they always have been and always will be fine. It was only the nerves getting to him. Yet, he has been wrong before and most of the time they barely got out of dangerous situations alive. How many more chances could they get before their luck ran out?

"Toothless… Astrid… Fishlegs… Snotlout… Ruffnut… Tuffnut…" Hiccup softly said out loud, which caught the attention of his dragon, who looked up in confusion. He wondered what is going on in the boy's head, but from what he could tell it couldn't be good, especially as he continued. "Hookfang… Stormfly… Meatlug… Barf… Belch."

Hiccup then moved towards the chair; a trembling hand reached out towards the weapon. The closer he got the more violently the limb shook, yet he paused mere inches away. His eyes closed suddenly, but then he saw himself stabbing the Outcast repeatedly, prompting him to open his eyes once more. Part of him said to just grab the knife as it was harmless, yet another part tried to refrain from it. Hiccup had no idea which is right or wrong right was now, so he needed to make a choice. In the end, he did.

Pulling his hand back he looked down on the limb, seeing the knife being held. His hand still trembled upon holding it, but he managed to continue holding onto it. The fear that the weapon had implanted him with is still there, but for some reason it slowly diminished. As the seconds went by his hand trembled less, yet it still shook some. Hiccup knew that despite how he felt about the weapon, he will need it. To protect his friends…and maybe show that he's still the same Hiccup they know. Carrying a weapon again could be the first step towards it.

Sighing heavily, he then placed the dagger onto his belt, decision made to carry it once more. Toothless raised his eyes in surprise, not expecting his rider to do this. 'are you sure?' he warbled.

"I will do what I can to keep my friends safe… to keep you safe, bud," Hiccup said as he looked at his dragon. He gave a sincere look, one that said that he wouldn't fail, yet is still laced with fear and doubt. "I'll show them when it comes down to it that I can protect them… that the kill won't affect me. I won't show fear… I won't show weakness… that is the Viking way."

With that Hiccup heads for the stairs, going up to his loft. Toothless remained behind for a moment, shocked at what the boy said. A moment later he followed him upstairs as well, part of him worried that somehow what was said would come to fruition.

_**Author's Note: Hope you like. Honestly I think this may have been warranted. For a while Hiccup has been afraid to pick up his knife again, but now that something important that is going to happen he needs to. Want to say more but I can't as it would be a spoiler. **_

_**I'm trying really hard to get these done but real life getting in the way, plus the next chapter has been really hard to do, i'm still trying to get it down at the moment, so sadly don't expect it to be posted anytime soon. Thank you all that are sticking by me. Tell me what you think. Till Next time. **_


	8. Lies and Surprises

**Author's Note:**** I'm very sorry for the long wait. This chapter was a huge problem to write. I had to rewrite this one 4 different times because none of the previous ones fit. It was a nightmare to rethink of the ideas and trying to see which ones worked. Finally I got it down, sadly I had to divide it up into two different chapters as it would have been too long. Still I thank you all who waited patiently for this. I hope what I have down was worth the wait. **

Chapter 8: Lies and Surprises

The wind blew past the teens at a fast pace, as they sored across the sky upon their dragons. The ride was enjoyed in relative peace as no words were exchanged, there was no need for any right now as they enjoyed flying. Hiccup and Toothless were in front leading the riders yet didn't look back unless he had to. This enabled the others to look at one another during flight, they all seemed to speak without words as they neared their destination. They were going to put their plan into action and hope it works out… or it could not and turn the situation even worse than it was already. Yet that didn't deter them, they were Hiccup's friends he would listen to them... Wouldn't he?

"Ok we're almost there," Hiccup announced as the familiar mountain that was dragon island could be seen in the distance. Looking back, he looked upon Astrid, as the rider's silent talks ended. "Ok Astrid, mind telling us what the exercise is now?"

"Not yet, wait till we're on solid land," She cheerfully responded, the other groaning at this. Yet what Hiccup didn't know was that it was a feigned groan. And seemed pretty convincing as she gave an annoyed response. "Oh, come on do give me that."

"Ok, how about-," Tuffnut ended up saying.

"We hate surprises," Ruffnut finished for her brother.

"Come on guys Astrid's exercises aren't so bad," Hiccup responded back as he looked forward, rotating his right shoulder to readjust his Gronkle shield on his back. The teen decided to bring it for added protection, and to help calm him nerves, which didn't help as much. When he woke up that morning, he only had thoughts of bringing his dagger, but then the fears from yesterday came back to stop him. Remembering how his shield saved him multiple times before Hiccup decided to bring it along, as it somewhat put him at ease for the time being.

Mentally shaking his head Hiccup tried to keep focus. It took a lot of will power for him not to show any of his fear to his friends, he has to keep it together. Trying to distract himself he kept his focus on Dragon island as it got closer and closer until the point they all descended down, landing on the rocky shore. Nothing but pebbles littered the ground, yet not too far off was an area full of trees. Despite being a home for dragons there is surprisingly some plant life thriving around the island. Once on the ground they all dismounted their dragons, the riders now gathering up.

"Ok, we're here, now Astrid if you would kindly tell us what you have planned?" Hiccup responded in his cheerful tone, curious then ever as to what Astrid had planned. Yet he frowned as he found his friends all quiet, all of them looking at one another in uncertainty. A red flag went off in his mind as worry started to swell up within the one-legged teen: something is off. "Um, guys… What's going on?"

They all looked at Astrid as none of them didn't want to explain it. Seeing that they were leaving it up to her Astrid stepped forward, mentally taking a deep breath as this is it. Time to sink or swim, "Hiccup… I'm sorry, but there is no exercise."

"What?" he responded back with raised eyes, the statement taking a moment to fully register in his mind as he thought he heard it wrong.

"Hiccup," Fishlegs then spoke up nervously. "As your friends we are all concerned, and we just want to help you."

Hiccup's tired brain started to work out what was going on, slowly it started to dawn on him and to be honest he wasn't sure what to feel. "You… You all tricked me, there was never an exercise planned. You just wanted me away from Berk to-"

"Discuss what has been going on with you," Astrid finished up, she and the riders prepared for the onslaught that was supposed to follow… Well not all of them.

"I thought we were discussing him dealing with his first kill?" Tuffnut said.

"Idiot!" Ruffnut hit her brother as her face wore a scowl. "You were not supposed to say it out right!"

Both of Hiccup's hands clenched into fists, anger building up like a fire as his friends lied to him. First his father, now them, how many more people is he going to lose trust in? Either way Hiccup decided not to even acknowledge them at all and turned towards his Dragon. "I'm out of here."

Yet, to his surprise the Night Fury back up some, shaking his head. _'No, listen to them'_ he warbled out.

"Toothless, come on, let's go," he tried again to get on, only for the same thing to happen. The Night Fury once more refused to let his rider on. Hiccup is surprised and confused at his dragon's behavior. Was he taking his friends side? Is that why he isn't being allowed to leave? His voice grew tense, and a bit more serious. "Toothless, don't this, not now."

'_I'm sorry'_ Toothless cooed sadly, ears folded back and looking down at the ground in shame. The dragon realized what his human's friends were doing, and he couldn't help but agree with it. His rider needed to talk things out, and if it meant angering Hiccup then so be it. _'this is the only way'_

"See even Toothless sees something is wrong," Astrid pointed out, moving closer to her irate friend. "He wants you to be ok, and so do we. We know something is going on with you, why won't you tell us?"

"Because there's nothing to talk about!" Hiccup snapped, finally looking over at his friends. To their surprise the rest of the dragons backed up, sensing the smaller teen's anger. Hiccup ignored this. "I finally got my father off my back about this, and now here you all are taking his place. Killing that Outcast hasn't affected me that much as of late."

"Could have fooled me," Snotlout sarcastically responded, rolling his eyes. But then recoiled some as Hiccup sent him a cold glare, one of which creeped Snotlout out. He wasn't sure why, but it did.

"Besides why would you all even care about this? A year ago, you all wouldn't have even cared. Heck you all would be impressed that I'm dealing with this like an actually Viking!" Hiccup complained more, yet this seemed to strike a nerve with everyone, as their eyes widen in surprise. Why would Hiccup say something like that?

"B-But this isn't the past Hiccup," Fishlegs decided to carry on.

"If it was it would be so cool," Ruffnut said to her brother, who agreed. "Imagine the knowledge we would hold."

"Not the point!" Astrid said, silencing them, before looking back at Hiccup. "Fishlegs is right Hiccup, this is now, and we're concerned. You say you're dealing with this the Viking way, but you're going about it all wrong. What you're doing is slowly destroying yourself. And don't deny that there is nothing wrong."

"We've noticed it over the past few days," Fishlegs added.

"You're more tired than before," Snotlout started.

"You're grouchier," said Ruffnut

"Paranoid," said Tuffnut

"And you don't want help for some reason," Astrid finished. "We can see you want help, but something is holding you back. Just please let us help you, there's nothing wrong with that."

"You all wouldn't understand," Hiccup quickly said back, not wanting to deal with this anymore than he had to. Looking down at his feet his hands clenched, and eyes squeezed shut. He knew they were trying to be honest but if he gave in, he would be bawling his eyes out. No, he couldn't do that, he can't be weak in front of them. "You never had to… And never will.

"Hiccup, why would you say that, of course-"

"Not this time… I'm almost certain," he responded back with uncertainty, looking back at Toothless for a moment. Part of him hopping for some support, but it never came. He then looked back at his friends, not sure what to do at this moment. His frazzled mind all jumbled up as a clear thought couldn't be found. He needed to get away from them, just to sort out some things first.

"Where are you going!?" Astrid called out as they saw their leader walk off.

"I need to think," Hiccup shouted, but then stopped as he heard paw steps. Turning back to find it was Toothless. He gave an angry scowl, "Alone!"

Toothless stopped and whimpered a bit, watching as his human walked off into the nearby trees. He then felt a hand pet him on the head. Looking up he saw it was Astrid, "Don't worry, he'll come around."

'I can only hope,' Toothless could only think.

…..

Hiccup grumbled randomly as he kicked some stones he came across, venting his anger with every kick. He couldn't believe his friends lied about coming here. Not only that but now it seems like Toothless is turning against him! It seems like the teen wasn't going to leave this island unless he talked it out with them, especially with his dragon on their side: he's stuck here. Yet, just because he's trapped on the island didn't mean that he had to be in close range of them.

"Why them? Just when dad finally got off my back," he kicked another stone, watching it sail through the air and into the brush. "Toothless, you're supposed to be on my side… Why can't you see that I just want to forget about… IT!" he went to kick another stone, only to fall down on his face as his prosthetic slipped. A groan of displeasure left him as he remained where he was for a moment. He wasn't sure why, but he just laid there, letting his thoughts process.

The more he started to think about how his father, Gobber and friends were concerned about him made him think. Has he really been acting different enough to warrant it? Has he been blind to it? Toothless must have seen something to warrant his defiance. His dragon would never do anything without a good reason… Which the teen would always listen to. Still, even if he has done something to warrant this kind of concern, he wasn't sure if it was necessary. He was dealing with the mental aspects like a real Viking would. Why couldn't they understand that? If it was before the war ended, then they would be praising him for finally doing what he hadn't been doing. Still, they're trying to get him to open up… Honestly, he couldn't blame them now.

If he were in their boots, then yes, he would be doing the very same thing. Still, he didn't want to deal with this at all right now, especially being caught off guard like this. If they had just came to him back on Berk, the maybe he would have listened… Wouldn't he? Grunting he pushed himself back up to his feet, adjusting his shield before he continued to walk, trying to push all those thoughts from his mind right now. Finding another rock, he kicked it harder, watching it sail into the trees.

*Klang!*

Hiccup froze as an echo hit his ears. One of which sounded like something hitting against metal. "Something hit me!"

A random voice cried out Hiccup scrambled to run for cover but wasn't quick enough as the brush parted and out came an older male, who didn't look all too happy. Not just an ordinary person, an Outcast. Both eyes locked on to him as his sword is then drawn, "Dragon Rider!"

"Oh no," Hiccup gulped as his flight skills took over and he ran, not bothering to look back as he heard multiple shouts. He knew he was being chased, but how many of them was an unknown factor. He had to hide somewhere fast and lose them.

Taking the chance, he looked back and only saw two of them, thankfully. Yet despite being older their weapons seemed to be weighing them down, as opposed to Hiccup who is lighter and much faster despite having only one good foot. Taking a sharp turn, he bolted through some more small trees and dived into a bush. It was tall and full, so it conceals him well, even his shield. Panting some Hiccup then covers his mouth, reducing the sounds he is making and keeping an ear out for the Outcasts to pass. His body trembled as the footsteps got closer and closer. He closed his eyes, did anything to reduce the noses, soon they were right next to him, but then ran off and the footsteps started to fade off. The teen blew a sigh of relief as he knew they ran past him but waited another minute before getting up.

Keeping his eyes forward on where the Outcasts went, Hiccup started to walk backwards as his mind started to process what is going on here. There are Outcasts on Dragon Island, meaning Berserkers could be here as well. And knowing them they wouldn't come to a dangerous island like this without back-up, meaning there are more of them on the island and-

"The others," he gasped out as he realized that his friends didn't know they had company. He needed to get to them, and Toothless. He is realizes that he's completely defenseless without their help… just like what happened back on Berk when Toothless was ensnared in the bolas. He gulped and trembled as he remembered what happened last time and didn't want it happening again. They just needed to mount their dragons and leave before-

"ACK!" Hiccup felt strong arms enclose around his body, his shield being knocked to the ground in the process, as he is lifted off the ground. His torso being squeezed tightly to the point where it nearly cut off his air.

"I see I got Berk's scrawny heir," his captor said, as he tightens his grip, causing a choked gasp to escape Hiccup. Out of instinct his body started struggling, head thrashing about and feet kicking wildly. Thankfully his metal leg came in handy as he kicked, the metal making contact with the man's unprotected shin. "GYAH!"

The grip loosened to the point where Hiccup dropped to the ground. Instantly he grabbed his shield and for some reason took out his knife. He wasn't sure why he had done that; it was like instinct took over and it made him do that. Yet, he didn't put it back either as he backed away as the Outcast is nursing his throbbing shin. Hiccup tried to think fast on what to do as he needed to get away from this guy or disable him in some kind of way.

Running would be a viable option, but he could still be chased by him once he recovered. And not being fast enough would mean he would be caught easily again, and that time he might not escape. Yet, engaging him would be disastrous mainly since he's currently trembling at the mere thought. The last time he took on an enemy it turned out disastrous. All he has is his knife and shield-

That was it! The bolas from his shield could easily tie him down and give him a chance to flee. Still trembling he fumbled with his shield, trying to activate the bola launcher. Looking up he saw the Outcast staring dagger at him as he now started to walk, installing more panic into the teen as he blindly fiddled with his shield. Thankfully he managed to activate his shield in time. Unfortunately, it wasn't the feature he wanted. The grapping rope shot out and wrapped around the older male, completely immobilizing his arms, and stopping him in place.

"Oh no," Hiccup realized his mistake, remembering the first time he tested the shield and did the same thing with Gobber. Since Hiccup is much lighter than the man, as he is currently caught in the rope it only meant one thing. The shield started to retract the rope back at a fast rate, and since the other end won't come back, the shield pulled Hiccup forward fast until the two collided, now only being separated by the shield… But something was wrong.

Right as the shield made contact the Outcast let out a chocked gasp and froze completely. Hiccup saw this and is confused along with panicked. Why isn't he moving, or trying to grab him? D-Did he think what he did was pathetic, and his mind couldn't process the action yet? All thoughts left him as a familiar wetness could be felt on his left hand, making Hiccup stiffen up.

"N-No… No…." Hiccup gasped out as he looked down, not only seeing his hand slowly being covered with blood… but his knife is embedded into the Outcast's chest. Apparently while fiddling with the shield Hiccup placed his knife wielding hand on the top end of the shield, holding onto it to reduce the trembling. So, when the grapping rope pulled the teen in, the knife was pointed right at him and had enough momentum to stab through right where the heart was.

A new wave of panic went through the boy as he let go of the shield and knife, stepping back as he watched the Outcast slowly convulse. It looked almost as if his air way is cut off as he gagged and tried to stay on his feet. Yet, with more blood coming out of the knife wound the color from his face drained. Like a stack of bricks, the man fell down with a loud thud… unmoving. Time seemed to slowly pass as Hiccup could only watch the now corpse of the Outcast before him. Hiccup fell down on his rear and moving back on his hands… looking at the second person whom he had just killed.

"N-No… N-N-N-Not again… It-It wasn't my fault." The killing had been an accident as the teen wasn't trying to do that. It was a mistake, a slip of the hand… a hiccup!

He tried telling himself this but, no matter how the teen looked at the body, there was no excuse, he had killed again. Accident or not it still happened, for a moment he just sat there, unmoving and captivated by the corpse. He wasn't sure what to do, nor how to respond as the shock wouldn't leave him as many thoughts went through his mind. The other Outcasts and Berserkers will find this, and what would they think or do. Would they leave in fear? Or would they want to hunt him down? Most importantly what would his friends-

"The others!" Hiccup gasped as he realized that his friends are still in danger. If the enemy is on the island then there should be a huge amount, and if Hiccup didn't know they were here then they could get caught off guard. He needed to warn and help them in case they were in trouble. Once again, his body didn't respond, but just thinking about his friends in trouble enabled him to get up. Taking his eyes off the body he composed himself.

Yet he couldn't do it unarmed the way he was. Slowly he looked down at the body again, wincing as he saw his shield and dagger still on him. As much as he didn't want to, he needed them if he was going to help his friends yet looking at the weapons only brought that dread back. He couldn't do this, no he couldn't… But he had to help them, and the only way he could is if he is armed. Why did this have to happen? Why did he have to kill again? Still, In the end he knew what he had to do.

Kneeling down by the body, shaky hands reaching out, he grabbed his shield first, detaching the grappling rope first, as he wouldn't be able to unwrap it. Pulling it up he placed it behind his back and then looked down at his knife. His breathing staggered upon seeing it embedded in the man…unlike last time where he managed to still have it in his hand. He almost got sick upon staring at it causing him to swallow his bile back down. Closing his eyes, he took a few deep breaths to calm him. He then reached in for the knife and grasped the handle. With an audible grunt it came out with a sickening splat.

Keeping his eyes closed Hiccup rose to his feet, knife now trembling as he finally opened his eyes. All he could see is a blade sticky with blood. He almost wanted to drop and leave it be, but he managed to hold onto it. Once again, he took a few more deep breaths as his trembling hands held onto the weapon.

"This is for your friends… This is for your friends," he kept saying in his mind over and over again. The enemy is attacking them, and he needed to respond to it. He needed to warn his friends. If they were in trouble where they needed saving… Then he would have to do what it is Vikings do to help them… that is if he could.

"_You should never resort to killing unless there is no other option." _His father's words from before echoed in his mind, causing him to tighten the grip on the handle. All trembling stopped and the uneasiness started to fade.

"If… If things are bad… Then I guess I'll have no other option," Hiccup said to himself, lowering his hands.

Being as quick as possible he wiped the blade on the dead man's clothes, getting most of the blood off. Yet Hiccup would still see it every time he looked at the weapon. There were so many things going on in his mind, yet he pushed them to the side and placed the knife in his belt. Turning towards where the beach was, where he and the others landed, Hiccup carefully made the trek back. Uneasiness now replaced with determination as he needed to help his friend, and if they were in trouble, he would save them… By any means necessary.

_**Author's Note: Hope you like. Didn't see that coming did you? Well for what I have planned next Hiccup needed to experience it again, just so he can be already past the shock he's enduring. Now I'll do what I can to make sure you don't have to wait that long for the next chapter. Things will get better from here on out, I hope. I'm just trying my best now to get past this. Till next time.**_


	9. No Other Option

**Author's Note: ****Surprise! A new chapter just in time for Christmas. This is a gift from me to you for taking so long with the previous chapter. I did what I could and I hope this was worth it. Also one scene may seemed rush but it was only because I had trouble describing it so I made it real quick. Still I did my best and I hope to get your feedback. Enjoy. **

Chapter 9: No Other Option

All the Riders could do is watch as Hiccup disappeared into the foliage, and soon out of hearing range as his footsteps disappeared. Astrid sighed in disappointment, Fishlegs in worried, Snotlout in annoyance, the Twins pondering on what to do next. The talk hadn't gone the way they had expected, yet it didn't end terribly, well mostly. Having Hiccup cool off right now seemed to be the best course of action, plus they didn't have to worry about him flying off as Toothless remained behind. To be honest they all weren't expecting the Night Fury to refuse to allow Hiccup to mount him as it never happened before. In all honesty, It just told the Riders that Toothless agreed with them. Yet, it was too bad they couldn't understand the dragon as he could maybe tell them more of what's going on with their leader.

"So, should we go after him?" Fishlegs was the first to speak, gaining everyone's attention. "I mean I know he wants to be alone, but it's never good to be alone on Dragon Island, so I would suggest just trailing him so that-"

"Hiccup can look after himself, he's not a child anymore," Snotlout interrupted, arms folded and not looking pleased at all. "I knew this was a waste of time!"

"It's not a waste Snotlout!" Astrid responded back, now annoyed at the response. "This just proves Hiccup needs our help more than ever."

"How so?" he couldn't help but ask.

"Um, we may be a bit slow understanding stuff, but we pretty much summed up there is something terribly wrong," Tuffnut said next.

"Yeah he totally needs our help," Ruffnut said next.

"Yet, he doesn't want it," Snotlout argue. "I say he's on his own then."

"So what? You're just going to leave him?" Astrid was baffled, she can't believe how small minded the buffer teen is being. Despite what he may say, they all knew Snotlout cared for his cousin but now he's not showing it right now.

"Of course not, I'm not that sleezy," Snotlout rolled his eyes at the accusation.

"Could have fooled us," Ruffnut said.

Snotlout choose to ignore the comment and resumed speaking to Astrid. "I say we wait till Hiccup calms down and then go back home. It's obvious that this won't work anymore."

"Still we have to keep trying!" Astrid insisted.

"You guys try, Hookfang and I are going to-" he stopped mid-sentence as he turned and found his dragon curled up, snoozing. Both eyes rose as he went over to the Monstrous Nightmare. "Come on Hookfang, no time for a nap!"

The dragon huffed and turned his head away.

"Hey, don't forget who you work for, it's me!" Snotlout proclaimed yet didn't see his dragon's tail raise up and whack him, knocking him a few feet away on his back. He laid flat on his back as he huffed, hearing the other riders laughing at this. "There will be repercussions for this!"

After the small amusement they rest of the riders turned to one another. "Never mind him," Astrid said. "We just wait for Hiccup to come back and-"

Just then all the dragons perked up and started looking around, catching the attention of their riders as they looked at them. Confusion arouse in all of them; did they sense something? None of them had time to ponder this any longer as just then many bolas shot out of the foliage and wrapped around the dragons.

"Ambush!" Astrid called out as everyone else tried to arm up to face an incoming enemy. Right then and there many Outcasts and Berserkers came out in a charge. The Riders and Dragons caught off guard at the sudden attack.

….

Hiccup ran through the trees, trying his best to make his way back to the beach on which his friends were on. After his accidental kill the teen had to try and keep himself composed enough in order to stay functioning. It was hard, but he managed to endure for the most part. Every now and then he had to stop and hide as he thought he heard another enemy nearby. Frankly it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He mentally cursed himself as he realized this is only delaying him.

"Keep calm Hiccup, keep calm, just focus on getting to the others," he kept saying to himself as he pushed his small legs the best he could. As he approached the shore, he could hear voices, yet not the ones he was hoping for. Slowing down and keeping close to the trees he peaked out through the brush, "Oh Thor!"

He found a good number of Outcasts and Berserkers on the beach, and his friends were on the ground, tied up together. They were all back to back, obviously tied together as they were caught off guard. Looking around he found the dragons, all of them on the ground, tied by bolas, even Toothless. Not good, they were all down and out and couldn't help in any way. Why were the Outcasts and Berserkers here? They couldn't have known that they would be here…did they? No, that can't be it, they must have interrupted something they were doing.

The answer came as some more Berserkers appeared, bringing over some large cages, causing Hiccup's eyes to widen. "So, they are here to get dragons…but now are going to try and take ours. I can't let that happen." Just then more Outcasts came out from the trees and hurried up to their friends, the same ones that were chasing him. Thankfully they spoke loud enough for Hiccup to hear, and what is said partially relieved him.

"We're going to need some help!" the Outcast said.

"What's wrong now?" one of the Berserkers asked.

"The Dragon Conqueror is running around here but is giving us the slip, we need more hands to grab him!" the Outcast responded back.

The news just seemed to amuse the Berserkers as some of them started to laugh. "Really? You need help catching a twig?"

"For a twig he's really fast."

"Fine, we'll lend you a hand," The head Berserker motioned a hand to call a few of his troops over.

"This'll be easy, without his dragon he's nothing. Watch those kids, the last thing we need is for them to get loose!" With that a good portion of the Berserkers left with the Outcasts, leaving only four of them behind.

"That's still too many," Hiccup said to himself as he watched the scene before him, waiting where he is for a bit. He mentally sighed in relief as he could no longer seethe rest of the enemy as they disappeared into the trees. "Still…it's better than there being more of them."

Hiccup studied the scene before him, his mind racing to think of something he could do to save his friends and dragons. Obviously the first thing he needed to do is free his friends, freeing the dragons could take longer if he didn't have help. Yet, how can he get to them without being spotted? A distraction? Can he get them away from the others long enough to free them? It was a risk but not fool proof. All it would take is one mistake and he could get caught as well… only this time it won't end like it did a before…when he…

Hiccup couldn't help but shudder just thinking of the accidental kill he did. It was something he completely wanted to avoid, but his clumsiness made him do it again. But…now that he thought about it, maybe it wasn't such a bad thought after all. If he could… take them out it would make it easier for him to save everyone… Just like he had promised yesterday… The promise he made to help them out no matter what.

Hiccup then saw one of the Berserkers walking away from the main group the other three seemed to be distracted in some way and not paying attention to their companion. This could be the opening Hiccup has been waiting for. Both of his hands clench as his breathing suddenly became a bit uneasy. It was then he remembered that he was holding his knife still, the blade still covered in some blood from the previous kill. Closing his eyes for a moment, trembling violently, as he watched himself accidentally killing that Outcast again, the look on his face, and the shock that went through him. Seeing that light leave those eyes as well as the man's life.

Both of his eyes opened with a gasp, the memory leaving him but leaving it mark as he still trembled. He willed himself to stop, only for a little while longer as he tried to enact his plan, or the plan he was thinking of as he went along. He started thinking of his friend and how they were in trouble and needed him. It worked for the moment as his body shakes reduced some, not all but enough to allow him to concentrate. Taking a few breaths, he then took out his shield and knife, resuming watching his enemies walk about. He studied their movements but found a shed of hope as one of the Berserkers slowly strayed further away from the others.

The grip on his knife grew tighter as he knew what had to be done, watching the lone Berserker move away and towards the trees. This would be perfect as he would be out of sight and easy pickings…well easier said than done. His nerves were starting to come back as he thought of what he's about to do, making him have second thoughts. Yet, he looked back to his friends, their troubled state enough to make him reconsider. Sighing deeply, and keeping low, Hiccup walked out from his hiding spot, going towards the lone Berserker. Thankfully his leg was silent this time around as his target didn't look back at all.

His breathing got heavier as he got closer, the trembles returning as the distance started to close. Breathing hitching as it threatens to give him away, but he held his breath to stop it. In moments he is directly behind the man, and he doesn't know it at all. Gulping Hiccup stood up, barely coming up to the man's shoulders. Putting his shield behind his back Hiccup took his knife with both hands, trembling, raising the weapon up over his head, the blade fidgeting as he took a moment to make sure this is what he wanted to do. His father's words from earlier, his friends and dragons in trouble. This was the only way.

With that Hiccup brought the knife down with all his might.

….

The Riders squirmed and struggled to get free of the rope that bound them. They all sat back to back in a circle, under the watchful eye of their enemy. They could hear the muffled roars of their trapped dragons, all of them still tied with Bolas. Wings bound, and muzzles tied tight which prevented them from flying or using their fire to aid their riders. Nothing could be done as they all were trapped. The Dragons muffled roars could be heard as they struggled to move, but couldn't.

The Outcasts and Berserkers came out too fast for them, plus the fact that one of them were on the ground when it started didn't help. Their dragons tried to help but bolas were instantly thrown at them. Since they were on the ground it made them easy pickings. Which further cemented the saying of a down dragon is a dead dragon. Despite that, the Riders tried to fight back but were overwhelmed by the numbers and one by one they were subdued. Their enemy laughed and taunted them about how they have them and were now going to take their dragons. That piece of new shocked them all and only made them want to escape but to no avail. Insults were thrown out, mostly by the Twins and Snotlout, but they were disregarded and deemed not a theat.

They had just watched as most of their captor's leave, mentioning how they were trying to catch Hiccup. This brought some relief and worry to them all at the same time. "Well…at least Hiccup is alright," Astrid sighed in relief.

"Yeah and that's the bad thing," Ruffnut commented with a scowl. "He's one guy, a small one in fact, and he's still reeling from killing someone, what kind of damage can he do especially without his dragon."

"Hey, you don't give Hiccup enough credit," Fishlegs piped up, trying to defend his friend. "Hiccup can be resourceful… Yet even during those times he gets himself into trouble… Or ends up injuring himself… And lets not forget-"

"Ok Fishlegs, we get it," Astrid interrupted, sighing in irritation. Yet, knew he was right as Hiccup can be resourceful, but it comes at a expense sometimes, but she couldn't think like that. "Still Hiccup is still on the run right now, and we have to hope he can help in anyway."

"I hope so, because I'm going to throttle these guys neck for even thinking about taking Hookfang," Snotlout glared at the patrolling Berserkers, who didn't even bat an eye at them.

"Focus on getting free," Astrid grunted as she tried to work her hands free of the robe, the knots were pretty tight. "Can anyone get free?"

"Nope," everyone but Tuffnut said, prompting everyone to look at the male twin.

"Tuff did you hear us?" Snotlout asked, since he's sitting right next to him. When he didn't get a response, he slammed his shoulder against him, jerking his body and catching his attention.

"What?" he asked in annoyance.

"Did you hear anything we said?" Astrid asked.

"No, I was focused on something else," he admitted.

"What could possibly have you thinking of something else in a time like this!" his sister chastised him for this. Their lives were in peril and he isn't even concerned with escaping.

"How about the fact that there were only four Berserkers a moment ago and now there is only three," The moment those words left his mouth they all were silent, their eyes looking around, only to have them widen as they realized that he is right. There are only three guys around, but the fourth one is surprisingly absent.

"What is going on?" Fishlegs asked, as the remaining three guards didn't seem to notice yet.

"He probably just walked off for a moment, he should be back," Snotlout tried to explain, for he didn't want to admit that it was a bit weird himself. "Then we can-"

"Shh!" Astrid called out for them to be quiet as one Berserker looked their way, both eyes raising as it seemed he noticed they were one man down. No emotional expression is shown as he started to walk off, alone, to the last place he remembers seeing him. Moments later he got closer to the tree line and went inside, no longer being seen by anyone else that were looking.

A minute passed and nothing, then another minute, and a third but the Berserker didn't return. There was some rustling, but it wasn't loud enough or visible enough to warrant attention. Yet, the riders saw this completely and looked at one another in confusion. "Ok, that's the second one, what's going on?" Fishlegs asked.

"I have no idea…you can't think…" Astrid trailed off.

"No way it could be Hiccup," Snotlout axed that idea, he couldn't believe it. "For as smart as he is there's no way Hiccup could distract two Berserkers for this long."

"Hey, why are there only two of us?" The first Berserker spoke up, looking about and finding no one else.

"That's odd, they should have mention something," the second one responded next.

Silence filled the area as both of them looked around the area, their harden eyes scanning the landscape to see if anything was wrong. They couldn't find anyone else, which put them all on edge for a moment. All of a sudden there was another rustle which made both of them tense up more. This prompted the first guy grabbed for his sword, "Guard the prisoners."

"Right," the second took out his own sword and went over to the riders, towering over them as his eyes didn't leave his partner. None of the riders said anything as they watched the first guy walk over to the nearby trees. Anxiousness, curiosity, and worry flowing through them as they had no idea what it is going on, or what could be happening. Was it Hiccup, or someone that is worse, or was the first two Berserkers who were coming back? So many questions swelled up as they watched to see what was going on.

The first guy goes to the tree line, weapon pointed forward. He didn't shake, nor falter at all as he moved forward, stopping a few feet away. He thrust his sword forward, hearing the blade tear through the tree leaves. He pulled it back and aside from some stuck leaves there was nothing else. His body relaxed as his sword dropped down to his side, looking back, "It was nothing, must be the wind!"

"ok, good," the second guy relaxed as well, that is until another rustle is heard, but only is heard by the first guy.

The Berserker by the tree line snapped his head back to the front, eyes locked onto the large tree, which is covered in bristles and branches. He tried to see what it was, but there was no way to look through it at all, as it was too thick so there was no way to see anything from this position. Curiosity got the better of him as he leaned his head forward, breaking through the branches to see the other side. That would prove to a fatal mistake.

***SHUNK!***

Just like that something cold and sharp is thrust upward into the man's lower mouth and into his head. His body stiffened and the last thing he saw is Hiccup, eyes glaring back, teeth grit and holding the knife that impaled him. Grunting the weapon is pulled out, blood squirting out from the fresh wound, and causing the dying Berserker to fall on his back, the impact alerting everyone nearby. The last Berserker's eyes widen as he saw his friend going down.

"Come out! I know you're there!" he shouted out in fury, eyes locked onto that spot, yet some fear swelling up as he had no idea what just happened or who could be there, but he didn't let whoever was there know it.

Just like that there is rustling from the same area, and a new figure emerged for all to see. All eyes, even the riders, and dragons rose in shock and surprise as they saw it was Hiccup. Not only that but in his hand is a bloodied knife, dripping with the fresh, sticky substance. Not only that but there were splotches of it on his vest, tunic and face. The Riders got worried instantly, thinking their leader got hurt, but then realized that he isn't limping or holding any part of him. Meaning the blood wasn't his…but that didn't make any sense to them if the blood didn't belong to him then that would mean that… they couldn't even think about that because that wouldn't be like Hiccup at all.

Yet… Had he actually killed those three Berserkers?

"W-What did you do!?" the lone Berserker responded angrily as he moved forward, forgetting he even had hostages to use as leverage. He was more concerned as to what the teen did, from what he knew Berk's heir didn't have the spin to shed blood, let alone be this direct. Still, there it was clear as day, his friend dead on the ground, and a knife in the kid's hand. There was no way to be convinced otherwise, still it was a huge shock to him.

Hiccup fought the urge to tremble, his palms sweating and swallowing down bile that threaten to expel itself from his mouth. One more to go, he had to keep it together, at least until he got his friends free. He needed to keep it together till then and not break down at all. He took a step forward listening to his enemy's shocked words, as he fought to keep his voice under control, he couldn't show fear, he couldn't show weakness. "You're next."

"GRRRAAAAAHHHH!" the lone man growled before yelling and charging at the teen in a blind rage. The brat was going to die for what he did, he didn't care if it started a war, blood was shedded and that needed to be paid back in full.

Seeing this Hiccup instantly grabbed his shield and aimed. Pressing the button, a bola fired out at the enraged Berserker. The rope tightly wrapped around the man, pinning his arms and legs together, the momentum of his charge causing him to trip forward and onto the ground, sword falling to the ground.

"GRRR you little BRAT!" he shouted out in anger as he started to struggle to break free. He could feel the rope slowly giving, all he needed to do is keep this up and he would break free. But then he stopped as footsteps registered in his mind, causing him to look up and found Hiccup right next to him, knife aimed right at him.

The Riders all watched in shock and horror as Hiccup then plunged the knife right in the head, where the helmet didn't cover. Just like that the final guard stopped moving and body slumped, lifeless. They were frozen as they saw this as they had no idea how to respond to this. The Dragons too saw this, and they were too shocked to even resume their struggles. They've been around Hiccup long enough to know that they never seen the teen kill before, they didn't even see him this aggressive before.

The teens saw him walk closer to them, a bit of fear swelling up within them for a moment but then had to remember. This was Hiccup they were talking about there was no way he would hurt them. Yet, there was no way he would voluntarily kill anyone, but they just saw it plan as day as he stabbed two of them right before their eyes, so they had a right to be worried.

"T-That can't be him," Fishlegs said in shock.

"This is Hiccup we're seeing, right?" Ruffnut asked.

"It can't be," Snotlout responded in shock, just as he approached.

"Hiccup?" Astrid called out as their leader kneeled down at them. Using that same blood covered knife, he started to cut the rope holding their hands. "Are you-"

"Don't say anything," a quick, harden voice of Hiccup said back.

"What?" She asked in confusion.

"D-D-Don't say anything about what h-happened, I'm having trouble keeping it together, if I'm reminded about it, I'm going to lose it," There seemed to be a tremble in the teen's voice as he kept working on getting them free. He stopped a moment as they heard footsteps and rustling. Looking back a moment they could tell someone is coming, possibly the rest of the Berserkers and Outcasts. Turning back Hiccup resumed freeing his friends faster. "Just get the dragons free, now!"

The order seemed to override any sense of reason and curiosity as once they were free, they ran to collect the weapons that were taken from them and went to cut free their dragons. Once Hiccup cut the last of his friends loose, he ran over to Toothless, immediately cutting at the rope. He started with the mouth, the Night Fury being able to open his mouth once more. Just then about ten Outcasts and Berserkers came out and saw the scene before them.

"They're escaping!" he heard them shout as they charged.

"Toothless plasma blast!" Hiccup ordered and the dragon then fired a ball of fire at the incoming humans. The blast hit the ground mere feet away from them, the force of the explosion causing some of them to be knocked down. Thankfully that stalled the enemy long enough for the others to get their dragons free, then mounting them and readying themselves.

"Group them together!" Astrid then shouted out, the others obeying the order even Hiccup himself. He wasn't sure why but that's what he did. The dragons took to the air, just as the Berserkers/Outcasts with bows fired arrows at them, which were dodged. All the riders then circled around them all as they started let loose some fire, it hit at all sides, slowly causing them all to be caroled into one spot. All ten of them were soon together in one spot, that's when Toothless let out one more Plasma blast, the bolt hitting the ground and causing them all to be knocked off their feet.

"Now!" It was then all the dragons dived into the center, their dragon's claws were out and before their enemy knew it the dragon's claws grabbed at their weapons and were thrown aside. In mere moments they all were weaponless and surrounded by dragons, all of them giving angry glares at the men as all they could do is back up into one another, knowing they were surrounded, and the tables were turned.

…..

In a matter of minutes all the Outcasts and Berserkers were on the ground, tied up just like the riders were moments ago. They all were grumbling and trying to free their hands but stopped as the dragon's growls convinced them to stop. For now, they sat there in defeat as the Riders all sighed in relief. The sudden ambush and attack over with for now, but something else needed to be addressed right now.

All it took is one look at their leader to understand that he isn't alright. They all could see their blood covered leader petting his dragon, whispering some thing to him. Leaving their dragons in charge of guarding the enemy all five of them motioned to one another and walked over to their leader.

"Uh…Hiccup are you-"Astrid started but got cut off.

"We have to deal with them now," Hiccup suddenly said, taking his eyes off of Toothless and looking at the others. They flinched upon seeing his eyes. Those once vibrant green that held honesty, bravery, and compassion were now replaced with anger, and fear?

"That can wait, we need to talk about… This!" Astrid motioned to Hiccup's appearance, everyone else agreeing as well.

"What happened, why are you all bloody?" Snotlout then asked.

"That's what happens when you kill someone up close, it's kind of hard not to get blood on you," Hiccup responded firmly, yet there seemed to be a bit a tremble on in his words. Something was wrong and the teen was hiding something.

'_what?'_ Toothless warbled in surprise, can't believe his own ears. The others were the same as well upon hearing this.

"W-Wait… y-you mean you killed… Those two Berserkers that wandered off?" Fishlegs responded back in shock, everyone else mirroring his expression as this registered in their minds. Part of them knew the answer but had to hear it from his mouth to be fully sure.

"How else could I have gotten close enough to get to you all," The trembling returned to Hiccup at the mention of him killing. He started to see those men's eyes as the life slowly left him, making him almost sick once more, but managed to suppress it. It was slowly getting to him and had to shake his head to get rid of the thought before resuming. Talking should be a good distraction, he thought. "I had no other choice, I had to save you all, and the dragons."

'_But at what cost?'_ Toothless said, not liking how this was going.

"But…this isn't like you, this isn't the way you would usually do something like this," Astrid complained, knowing that her statement is valid. Yet she had to remember that ever since Hiccup's first kill he had changed in a way no one understood. Apparently, she didn't get the chance to think more as she saw her friend's eyes narrow, almost as if a cord was struck, a bad one.

"Not like me… Not like me!?" His voice rose in anger, fists clenching tight. "So, I can't change who I am? I have to be the same defenseless person I used to be… Always relying on others to help when I can get the job done myself? Oh, I'm so glad my friends are so thankful that I saved them, instead of still being prisoner."

Toothless warbled in protest, but it went unheard by his rider.

"Whoa, we didn't mean it like that," Ruffnut held her hands up in surrender, not thinking things would go like this.

"Then what do you mean it like?" Hiccup snapped back, causing them to flinch. "Like I said if it was back before the war ended none of you all would have batted an eye at what I did. In fact, you all would have been praising me! I'm finally acting like a real Viking but apparently this isn't how I'm supposed to act!?"

"But this isn't the past Hiccup," Fishlegs urged on. "Everyone changed, we all changed, even you."

"I hardly believe that," he scoffed.

"Hiccup we just-" Once again Astrid tried to speak but was cut off. Apparently, Hiccup has had enough of their talk and decided to move on to the main problem at hand.

"We have to kill them."

"What!?" All the riders responded back in shock and confusion, even Toothless' eyes widen

"You heard me, we can't let them leave here alive, if we do that's showing weakness. Besides It'll send a good message back to Dagur that we aren't to be messed with at all," Hiccup explained. with a cold expression, one that said he was serious. In all honesty part of this was true, what he didn't tell them was killing them would make them all truly safe, but they didn't know that. This made everyone adopt an expression of disbelief as they must have heard him wrong. When they saw that the expression didn't lighten up or change, they realized that he was dead on serious about it.

"You can't be serious!" Astrid responded back in a shocked tone. Never in her life would she have expected the hear Hiccup say that they needed to kill someone. Disable yes, but never to kill. This change in Hiccup's attitude wasn't him and it was getting out of control.

"You can't honestly expect us to do that!" Snotlout protested next, but that only rewarded him with a cold expression from Hiccup.

"What's wrong Snotlout? The other day you and the Twins were practically head over heels when I killed for the first time. You even thought of a new nickname for me in honor of my first kill. What's the matter? you change your mind already? Is it because you don't have what it takes to kill for real, nor suffer the consequences that come with killing?" He spoke back in that same cold tone, sending shivers down the buffer teen's back. He didn't even respond back out of fear, something that was completely foreign, which caused a revelation. He wasn't sure why but for the first time ever, he was afraid of his cousin. The coldness of his voice, the blood on him, and the fact that he wanted to kill again was unnerving.

Thankfully Fishlegs saved Snotlout from Hiccup's glare. "B-B-But we can't kill them. We should just leave them here, that's the best thing for us to do," The others agreed with the comment, knowing it was the best course of action, but that wasn't pleasing enough to the one-legged teen.

He scowled at the suggestion and pulled his knife out, frightening the teens for a moment. Hiccup is so unpredictable right now, there was no clue what he's going to do until he spoke. "If you're not going to do it, then I will," with that Hiccup walked past them and head for the bound men a bit away from them, leaving the others behind in shock at what they were seeing.

It was Astrid who managed to snap out of her sense of shock as she ran up in front of her leader and placed her hands on his chest to stop him. "Hiccup, you can't do this!"

"I have to, since none of you are going to help, I have to do it myself!" He tried to push past her, but she blocked his way again, looking more determined as ever.

"Hiccup, you're not in the right frame of mind," she pleaded with him, but knew that words weren't going to work, which meant one thing. "I can't let you do this."

"You can't?" Hiccup responded; eyes narrowed as he glared at her. "They have to die, and you know it! There's no way you're not going to stop me!" With that Hiccup tried to shove Astrid out of the way but she grabbed Hiccup's arms and held him in place. Both of them grunted as Astrid tried to keep Hiccup in place but to her surprise it was proving to be difficult. Mainly since she didn't want to hurt him.

"Guys, some help here!" Astrid called out, and like a switch being thrown they all raced over to the two. They all grabbed at their leader and tried to pull him back. Hiccup on the other hand grunted and fought against all his friends combined strength. Nothing but malice in his eyes as he looked past Astrid and at the ground of Outcasts and Berserkers that were staring wide eye at them, along with the dragons. They all heard what he said and were shocked, yet none of them dared move. Either out of fear from Hiccup or the dragons themselves. Still they watched what transpired before them.

"Let… GO!" Hiccup grunted out as he pulled against them. The other riders were surprised that they were actually moved a bit. Apparently, their leader is a lot stronger than they realize and he is managing to pull them along. That and his anger is fueling his body. Fishlegs and Snotlout grunted as they pulled on Hiccup's arms, moving him back a bit. They were struggling to keep him in place, they couldn't do more without hurting him. They needed to do something quick before Hiccup hurts himself, or someone and it could be deadly.

Toothless stood there, mouth open in shock at what was happening. His rider is out of his mind and is going to kill once again. Oh, why couldn't he have listened to his father, or his friends? The small intervention that was planned now evolved into this and it's going to get a lot worse if Hiccup actually went through in killing the bound humans. Right now, the Riders were struggling to keep him back, but were having trouble. The Night Fury has had enough, words wouldn't help right now, and action needed to be taken. He whimpered as he knew what he had to do and hoped Hiccup would forgive him. Racing up to the teens Toothless then raised his tail up, both fins folded up as he carefully aimed and then brought it down, hitting Hiccup right on the head.

Just like that Hiccup was knocked out.

_**Author's Note: Hope you like. I know the small fight scene wasn't as good, I just have trouble trying to write fight scenes while riding dragons. Still I hope you all liked the rest of it. This was a strange turn of events for Hiccup right? After rescuing his friends after resorting to killing he wanted to do it again to ensure their safety. Things are going to get interesting in the next chapter I can guarantee that. Any questions feel free to let me know. And i'll try not to take long with the next chapter. **_


	10. Intervention Part 1

**Author's Note:**** I'm sorry for the long wait. New Year comes with new problems. Also I was helping Plasma Snow with his fanshots. It has had me busy as of late. Still I hope the wait was worth it with the chapter. This was supposed to be longer, but I decided to split it up as the next chapter will have a lot of content in it, I think. Still it's a tad bit shorter than the others, so I apologize. Either way enjoy. **

Chapter 10: Intervention Part 1

"What in Thor's Name Happened!" Stoick's voice boomed inside the Haddock Household, the dragons outside cringing at the sudden outburst. They all were a bit nervous for their riders as they weren't sure what was going on with them. Yet they had to wait outside for them, all except for Toothless.

Inside, Stoick stood before the five teens, all of whom flinched at the Chief's rage induced voice. It made none of them want to answer the question, since that rage could be directed at them, but mainly out of fear of how he would react to the news. All in all, they should have expected this reaction, but things weren't thought out properly, and now they weren't sure how they would tell the chief that his son killed four Berserkers to save them all.

After Toothless had knocked out Hiccup, which surprised them all, it took a moment for the shock to wear off. The realization finally cementing itself on what their leader wanted to do as they no longer had to hold him back. Thankfully Astrid managed to regain her composure to issue out orders. She told them that they were all leaving now. Since Hiccup was knocked out, Astrid was the only one that could work Toothless' tailfin, so she would have to fly him back home. They had dragged Hiccup on the Night Fury and they all left Dragon Island, leaving all the tied-up Outcasts and Berserkers behind, but still alive.

No one said a thing for the whole ride home, their minds still on how Hiccup wanted to kill them. Granted he had killed four of them as he was rescuing them all, leaving him covered in blood. They had seen him like that before, but this time it was different as the kills were intentional. Either way the sight alone was a bit scary for them, and it didn't stop there. Afterwards they were in the clear his voice all serious and cold, and intent on killing their defenseless enemies. Yet they maybe deserved it but that's not what Hiccup would have done, as he just charged in like that to do the deed. They still couldn't believe how it took all of them to hold him back, yet they still struggled. This was beyond their comprehension as they had no idea what to do when they got back. Worse of all, what were they going to tell the chief.

When they neared Berk, they planned on sneaking Hiccup back inside his home so they wouldn't cause a panic, due to his bloody appearance. Unfortunately, Hiccup's bedroom window was shut and only opens from the inside, so they tried taking him in through the front. Unfortunately, Stoick came out at the same time and practically shouted his son's name at the top of his lungs upon seeing him unconscious and covered in blood. His shouting drew a crowd as they saw the boy's appearance and various questions were asked towards the riders.

Stoick hushed them all and carried his son inside, telling the teens to follow. Hearing him say that in his authoritative tone made them obey, along with Toothless, as not wanting to incur more wrath. Once inside they helped clean Hiccup up and left him in his bed. Afterwards he wanted answers, which lead to now. Various thoughts flowing through Stoick's mind as he wasn't sure how to feel. Concern at seeing his son covered in blood, fearing he got hurt in some way. Relief, that he wasn't hurt at all but now curious as to why his clothes were covered in blood in the first place. All he knew is that the five Dragon Riders before him had all the answers and from the looks on their face what had happened must have been bad.

"Well? Do I have to repeat myself!?" Stoick spoke again, making his anger known to speed up the process. Although this didn't really help as it only made them not want to answer.

After a while, surprisingly, it was Fishlegs who spoke up, "W-W-Well sir… We all went to d-d-dragon island to talk to Hiccup about what was going on with him… B-B-But something unexpected happen."

"Define unexpected?" Stoick glared, knowing that with the teens they could get into all sorts of trouble anywhere they go.

"Sir," Astrid took over, as she had managed to wipe the nervousness off her face. "We were ambushed by Outcasts and Berserkers."

"What!?" the chief shouted in shock, clearly not expecting this. "What in Thor's name happened over there!?"

"Sir… The talk with Hiccup didn't go well and he stormed off. It was then the Berserkers came out and ambushed up, we were caught easily as well as the dragons… We were trying to figure out how to escape… but well…" Astrid seemed to drag on, as she wasn't sure how to say the next part.

"Well?" Stoick asked, now curious as to how they escaped. Especially since Hiccup stormed off from what they said.

"You see… what happened next is that the Outcast came and asked for help as they couldn't catch Hiccup," Snotlout went next, telling the next part of the tale but not revealing the absolute truth they wanted to avoid. "There were only four guarding us… Yet slowly two disappeared and…"

"Is someone going to tell me how all this has to do with Hiccup being covered with blood or what!?" Stoick demanded, getting tired of them stalling for some reason.

"Hiccup killed the four Berserkers to save us," Tuffnut blurted out like it was nothing. Silence filed the home after he had said that, all eyes locked onto the blond twin as the rest of the riders gave him looks. "What? He wanted the truth."

"Wait, I must have heard you wrong," Stoick said in disbelief, a hand going up to his ear to clean it out. There was no way Tuffnut had said Hiccup did something that… Well it was possible but there was no way his son could have killed four more times, especially after having a hard time dealing with his first. "There's no way I heard that… Hiccup managed to kill once more… That's… That's just not possible."

"It is," Astrid affirmed what Tuffnut said. "We all saw it, well not the first two but we saw the last two. Hiccup killed them to save us… But chief, Hiccup is really unstable right now."

"What do you mean unstable?" Stoick asked, barely even able to fully process Hiccup killing once more, but now hearing there was more to it. "What did he do?"

"Well tried to do," Snotlout corrected.

"We had just gotten free and managed to round up the rest of the Outcasts and Berserkers and had them all tied down. Hiccup… Well he…" Astrid began to speak but had trouble speaking the next part. She wasn't sure if the chief would believe them or not or would fear his reaction as he is already mad.

"He wanted to kill the rest," Fishlegs managed to say for her. A deafening silence filling the home once more, as both of Stoick's eyes rose in shock. His mind now having trouble trying to accept what he is being told. This had to be a joke, it had to be, but one look at all the teens and the looks on their face only made him believe them.

"No… No, he… He couldn't… D-Did he?" Stoick couldn't help but whisper, but it was loud enough for them all to hear. Now a pang of fear started to overcome him, not sure if he had wanted to hear the rest.

"No, he didn't," Astrid took over once more, which calmed Stoick's nerves some. "We all tried to stop him, but Hiccup proved to be much stronger than we realized. Thankfully Toothless managed to knock him out, after that we got out of there quickly after that, the rest you know."

For a moment Stoick said nothing, mainly since he wasn't sure what to say, or how to feel. His eyes looked over all five teens once more before looking over at the Night Fury on the side. Toothless' head was bowed once the kids told the chief of what he done. Part of him expected the man to be mad for hurting Hiccup like that and waited for any kind of response. Instead, to his surprise, he received a pet on the head, "Thank you for stopping him." That caused the dragon to look up in surprise yet relaxed at this.

'_I had no other option,'_ Toothless warbled back, relieved that there is no anger. _"I took no pleasure in doing it."_

After petting the dragon Stoick walked back to his chair and sat down, sighing heavily as his hands cradled his head. No one said anything as they allowed him to process everything he was told, as he was at a loss as to what to do right now. Things have gone too far with Hiccup hiding his true feelings on the matter and it seems to manifest into something bad. This disheartened him big time, yet most of all he was angry with himself for not confronting his son with his issue before. He should have ordered him to stay where he was so they could talk. It might have been a blow to their mending relationship, but it could have at least worked. Instead he agreed to back off… What a terrible mistake he made. Now his son had killed once more, and it made him want to do it again. Was it because he loved it, or was there anything reason behind it? That is the key question, "D-Did he say anything else when he wanted to kill them?"

All five teens looked at one another, mainly to see if any of them remembered anything important Hiccup would have said. It was Astrid who spoke up, "He said about showing Dagur that we weren't weak and killing them would show it."

"And something about dealing with the consequences from it," Snotlout added in. Never forgetting those chilling words his cousin had said to him.

"He did?" Stoick asked again, getting a nod in return. Sighing his mind started to mull over what was said, slowly he started to understand what was going on. All in all, he didn't like the revelation he came to as to why his son was acting like this. Yet, the more he thought about it the more it made sense… No wonder why Hiccup didn't want to come to him. "This isn't good not at all. This has to be stopped right here and now before it can no longer be treated."

"But how?" Ruffnut asked in confusion. If Hiccup was so intent on killing their enemies then how is there a way to stop that?

"I'm afraid to say that we are going to need to make him talk to us whether he likes it or not," Stoick admitted, not liking the measures that would need to be taken but Hiccup has forced his hand. Standing up from his chair he then headed for the stairs leading up to his son's loft.

"What are you going to do?" Astrid asked. She and the others confused as to what's on his mind.

"Don't worry about that right now, I'm going to need all of your help for this. Right now, someone go get Gobber, he'll be needed here," he instructed, not seeing as Snotlout rushed out to get the blacksmith. He then looked over at the Night Fury, "Come Toothless, I'll need you for something."

'_ok, just hope nothing bad comes out of this,'_ Toothless warbled as he followed right behind.

…..

Hiccup groaned as he slowly started to come to, head moving as his eyes started to show movement. Man, his head hurt, feeling like he got hit on the head with a hammer. Although if he really had chances are that he wouldn't be alive, still he tried to search his memories as he felt himself lying on a bed. He tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes but found that they wouldn't move. He tugged upward but found some resistance, and something pressing into his arms. Shock ran through him, jump starting his senses and allowing his eyes to burst out wide as he tried to sit up, only to be prevented from doing so.

His head was the only part of his body he could move freely so, lifting it up he looked down at himself and gasped, "What in Thor's name!"

He found himself inside of his room, lying on his own bed, yet the surprising thing is that there are several strands of rope wrapped around him, he is tied down to his own bed! One strand of rope on his torso, which pinned his shoulders down. Another one right above his belly which also pinned his arms, his waist and hands were pinned, and two on his legs. His arms and legs pulled at the rope on reaction, eyes squeezing shut and teeth gritting as he used all his strength but ended up slumping against his bed. He then tried to wiggle his hands free, hoping they could slide through the rope, but they wouldn't moving either, and felt that they dug into his wrists as he did so.

After a few more minutes of trying Hiccup stopped, head falling back down onto his pillow, panting. As he laid there his mind started to wander, trying to remember how, and mainly why he's like this. His body stiffen and eyes widen as it all came back to him… Every single second of it. His accidental kill of the Outcast because of the malfunction of his shield… The Berserkers he killed so he could save his friends. His body shivering as he could still feel that stick, wet blood on his skin. In a flash he could see himself stabbing those men, the looks on their faces as the life left them before collapsing down on the ground dead. His breathing started to increase as he could see their faces once more. He almost came close to screaming… that is until a coo made them all disappear.

It was then Hiccup realized that he wasn't alone in his room. Raising his head back up he spotted Toothless staring right back at him, sitting on his stone bed. The Night Fury looking sadden, yet on guard as he stared back at his rider. If he wasn't so focused on trying to escape Hiccup would have noticed this, right now all he wanted was some help. He didn't even remember it was Toothless that is responsible for his aching head.

"Toothless, come over here and cut these ropes," he called out to his dragon, knowing his sharp teeth can tear the rope. A few seconds passed but his dragon remained rooted on the slab of rock. Confused Hiccup called again, "Toothless, come on, help me."

Another few seconds passed before the Night Fury shook his head, denying his rider's request much to the teen's shock. He just laid there, frozen and not able to believe what he just saw. Other than the time when Toothless fought the Whispering Death for the first time, his dragon never disobeyed. Well actually there was earlier on back on Dragon Island where he refused to fly him off the island. Before his mind could wander back to that moment, he saw his dragon get up and head for the door.

"T-Toothless, get back here!" Hiccup once again pulled at the rope to try and get free again, yet it yielded the same results. Real alarmed that Toothless is leaving him like this, which only renewed his struggles, but not for too long. He stopped once his dragon warbled once more, head sticking outside the door, almost as if he was trying to get someone's attention. A few seconds passed but then footsteps could be heard climbing up the stairs, making Hiccup relieved and worried at the same time.

One by one he saw as his father, Gobber and his friends walk in, all of them taking a moment to look at Hiccup all bound. Sadden looks graced their faces as they saw this but quickly covered it up as they all surrounded the teen, all followed by Toothless, the Night Fury sitting by Hiccup's side, still looking a bit troubled.

Confusion swelled up within Hiccup as no one did anything but just stared. They weren't helping him at all, meaning this was done intentionally. Yet why? "What's going on? What happened? And why am I tied to my bed!?" Hiccup asked out loud, wanting answers. He nearly scowled at the silence that was given to him.

Surprisingly it was Astrid who spoke up first, a look of uneasiness on her face the whole time, "Hiccup… That's for your own safety."

"What?" he asked in shock.

"You know what I mean… Because of what you almost did," she responded back, making Hiccup remember back, at how he had wanted to kill all those defenseless Outcasts and Berserkers. How he tried to but his friends tried to stop him… Then that was it, he just blacked out. He couldn't remember what made him black out, but it wasn't important right now. All he could think about is how they couldn't trust him at all.

"Son," Stoick said, catching his attention. A stern face upon him, "I didn't want to do this, but you left us no other option. We're going to talk, and you're going to listen and tell us everything."

Hiccup's body tensed up, now realizing the purpose of the rope. Not only was it meant to keep him from doing anything rash, but it also is meant to keep him from leaving.

_**Author's Note: I hope you like. Weren't expecting that did you? Well it's an idea I originally had when i came up with the story. Plus there was a bit, a small bit, of foreshadowing of Stoick tying Hiccup to his bed in one of the earlier chapters. It may have not been an action but it was a thought Stoick had. Still hopefully it sate you enough. I'm working on the next chapter so I hope it'll be good as it'a major part of the story. If any questions feel free to ask me. Till next time. **_


	11. Intervention Part 2

**Author's Note:**** Hey there, sorry for the long wait. I have a tough class for school this semester and it's been taking a lot of my time. Still i'm doing my best to crank out the chapters. This is the latest one, and may seem like a rushed one but it's how I saw it in my head. Still I hope you all like this as I did my best on it. Enjoy. **

Chapter 11: Breaking Through

The silence seemed to go on forever as Hiccup remained quiet, as did everyone else that was in his room. All eyes were on the restrained teen, as he wanted nothing more than to leave, but the ropes holding him to his bed would surely prevent that. He didn't even struggle with the ropes anymore, mainly since with his body frame there is no way he could break it nor wiggle out. Besides struggling made the ropes dig into his body, which started to hurt some. Also, even if he could get out chances are, he wouldn't be able to get out of the room in general, so either way he's stuck. All he plans to do is try and remain silent until they got bored… Hopefully.

Stoick watched his silent son, getting a bit worried that he hasn't said anything yet. Part of him was worried that maybe the ropes were uncomfortable but had to push the urge to loosen them away. He had to put his personal feelings side and not give in. To be honest, it pained the man to tie his son down in the first place, never thinking it would come down to this. Yet, from experience he knew Hiccup would try to leave so he would need to be kept in one place, and this happens to be the only option.

After telling one of the teens to fetch Gobber he and Toothless went up to Hiccup's room, where the chief proceeded to tie his son to the bed. When all was said and done, he made sure the window was closed and secure before telling Toothless to watch Hiccup and alert them when he woke up. If it wasn't for the rope, then chances are he would have snuck out. Hopefully he and the others could get anything out of the boy, all they had to wait till he started talking, that is if he did talk.

Seeing as nothing is getting done by sitting around Stoick sighed and decided to break the silence, "You best start talking Hiccup, because until you tell what has been bothering you, you're not being untied anytime soon." He then interrupted when he saw the boy's mouth open up to protest, "And don't bother saying the rope is too tight, I know that excuse and it won't work."

That shut his mouth as now he had to try and think of something else to say. His mind fumbled around trying to find a perfect thing to respond back to get him out of this situation, unfortunately it wasn't working this time. Instead only one thing came to mind, "Tying me down wasn't necessary."

"Not necessary?" Snotlout responded back in disbelief, sitting down on one of the only chairs in the room. "After going crazy and trying to kill unarmed Berserkers and Outcasts, I'm pretty sure this was warranted."

"Although it would have been fun if we got to do it," Ruffnut said to her brother as he nodded as well.

"So, I was going to kill them." Hiccup responded back, seeing a bit of shock in their eyes. "So what? You all shouldn't have stopped me, It needed to be done!"

"At what cost lad?" Gobber spoke, making Hiccup roll his eyes. The last thing the teen wanted was to listen to him, his mind still fresh on how his mentor betrayed him. "Your mind was fragile enough with one kill, yet after adding four more it made you unstable. Gods know what a dozen more would have done!"

Hiccup turned his head, not wanting to look at them, but couldn't look away as he looked at a face in every direction. Instead he closed his eyes and muttered something unintelligible, which got their attention, yet confused them. "What?" Astrid then asked.

"It was five… I killed one more before I came to save you all," he responded back, not seeing their shocked expressions and silent gasps.

"W-Wait…you killed someone else right before?" Fishlegs asked for them, none of them anticipating this piece of news.

"It was an accident… The Grappling line on my shield got caught on him and I was pulled towards him, my knife was pointed towards him… It happened so fast that I didn't know until it was too late," Hiccup admitted. Eyes remained closed yet stiffened a bit as the moment replayed in his mind. The surprised look on the Outcast's face as the knife pierced his body and into his heart. Watching those harden eyes slowly lose life as he fell to the ground, dead. That caused him to gasp and open his eyes, only to find eyes on him once more, everyone surprised upon seeing this.

"Saw his face again, didn't you lad?" Gobber then asked yet didn't get a response. The blacksmith sighed yet being patient with his stubborn apprentice. "It's easier if you just admit it, keeping it bottled up won't help you."

"You didn't help me either Gobber, you promised not to say anything, but you went behind my back!" Hiccup snapped back, finally saying something to his mentor, but nothing good.

"I had to!" Gobber responded back in the same volume, and not backing down. "You don't know how serious this is Hiccup, I've seen men go crazy because they couldn't handle the stress that comes from killing. You would be going down the same path unless someone intervened!"

"Been going down?" Tuffnut questioned. "It seems like he was far past that a while ago."

"I agree," Ruffnut responded. "It surprised me that it took all of us to hold you down."

"It was a good thing Toothless knocked him out with his tail," Tuffnut finished, making Hiccup go wide eyed.

"What!?" he then looked over at his dragon, the glare he gave the Night Fury made him flinch a bit. Watching those green eyes radiating so much anger as his rider gave an accusing glare, something Hiccup has never done to his dragon before. "Toothless…how could you…you've never struck me before, why would you do it!?"

The Night Fury didn't back down, even though it would earn more anger and growled back. _'I regret nothing, you had to be stopped!'_

"Hiccup, Toothless did what he had to," Astrid chimed in next, catching his attention, and now is receiving that same glare. "You weren't in the right frame of mind to even be making decisions. Killing all those Berserkers and Outcasts would have done nothing!"

"Letting them go makes us look weak, especially when Dagur hears about it. None of us can afford that at all! He attacked us once so chances are, he would do it again!" Hiccup responded back with seriousness in his voice.

"Hiccup," Stoick spoke up next. "Since when has not appearing weak, been so important to you?"

He didn't speak up right after that, only taking a few seconds to stare at his father before responding. Yet, that was an indication for what he is hiding. "Since forever and-"

"You've never had a problem with it from in the past," Stoick interrupted. "No matter what any Outcast or Berserker has done, you would have never resorted to what I was told of. This isn't you Hiccup, you're not the same child I know. All of which happened after your first kill!"

Hiccup looked at his father in shock, mouth ajar some as he heard all this. A bit of anger built up within him, as he dwelled on those words. To him he was basically being told that they liked him better being helpless and relying on others to help him. Now that he finally shows signs of being a true Viking, they find it bad and unlike him. He finally does something good, well almost, but this was being viewed negatively and labeling it as uncharacteristic of him.

"I can't believe any of you… As a Viking isn't it my duty to not show fear nor weakness towards our enemies?" Hiccup spoke up, catching everyone off guard. He didn't even wait for them to respond back, or in this case give them the chance, "All my life I have been different. I have been weak, bullied, ignored, and had so many expectations thrown upon me, only to fail to measure up as a proper Viking. The one time when I actually display traits needed, I'm told that's not me or it's not how I do things. I can never win with anyone!"

Everyone was silent upon hearing all that, listening to every word and fully knowing it was true. Everyone reflected back on how Hiccup was treated before. Stoick ignoring Hiccup despite living in the same house. How Snotlout and the Twins would always bully and sometimes pummel him for fun. Astrid and Fishlegs never really giving him the time of day at all. All of which was unforgivable. Well not in Hiccup's eyes as he gave everyone a second chance, yet this isn't the same person they knew before. They started to wonder if he would forgive them for keeping him tied to his bed. Either way it wouldn't mean they would untie him yet.

"Hiccup, we don't care about any of those traits, we like you the way you were," Fishlegs commented.

"Well I don't… It made me stand out from everyone in a way I didn't like!" Hiccup scoffed, hating to always be reminded at how different he is.

"But that is what makes you special," Astrid responded next. "The way you never follow tradition, the way you always question things and basically try to change customs for the better. It's what made you better than everyone else."

"Yet that always got me into trouble before hand," Hiccup sneered back, shaking his head at the comment. "It would have been much better to be the way I am now back then."

"But this isn't- " Astrid commented but is cut off.

"If I was like this before the war ended, none of you would have been questioning it, you would be praising me! Little Scrawny Hiccup is finally turning into a real Viking, I'm actually not showing fear, or weakness," Hiccup's teeth grit as both fists clenched. His breathing turned heavy as he blurted out, "This is how I always should have been… From birth to now!"

No one said anything after that, mainly since shock overcame them. This was such a surprise as they never heard Hiccup say something like this. He was basically saying he should have been a completely different person from the start, a thought none of them could fathom at all. The caring, compassionate, and dragon loving Hiccup they knew, being replaced with a cold, harden, and violent one. Yet they also knew that it could have been a possibility in another life, yet weren't sure what life would be like if they didn't have the Hiccup they knew and love.

At this point, the conversation they were having wasn't going according to plan, and they weren't sure how to continue this. Stoick wasn't planning on untying his son until he saw reason, but it seems like that would take a lot longer than he hoped. Gobber was dismayed as well as his apprentice still held onto the anger he had for his mentor. He wasn't sure how things would be if Hiccup's attitude didn't change. The Riders were also dismayed, as they weren't sure how they were going to continue on without Hiccup. The Dragon Riders were depended on Hiccup, even though they didn't want to openly admit it. At this rate they weren't sure if Hiccup should continue to lead them with this mindset.

Astrid looked over at Toothless, the Night Fury's head bowed in sadness as well. She had no idea how badly he was taking this, although she might have a good idea. She was curious as to how things would between the two. Would Toothless continue to let Hiccup ride him? Would he refuse? Too many questions with too many unknown answers. It made her think that their relationship would be strained especially since-

Both of her eyes widen as a thought came to mind. Something that could possibly help them in this situation, but it could also fail as well. Yet, there is still a piece of the old Hiccup there, and if he responded to what she is thinking, it could be enough to snap him out of it. It was do or die, as this could be the last resort any of them had right now. So, mentally preparing herself for the consequence that should come, she then went over to Toothless, petting him. The dragon looked up at the blonde, giving a confused look. Astrid then motioned for him to get closer, which he did, unsure as to why. Everyone noticed this but said nothing as they wondered what she is up to.

"Look at him," Astrid said in a firm voice.

"What?" Hiccup looked her way in confusion.

"Look at Toothless!" she said, raising her voice as she gently pushed the dragon forward, getting him closer to his rider.

"What are you doing?" Hiccup asked, confused and a bit on edge.

"You and Toothless are best friends, practically the only friend you had in your time of need. Granted if you were the Viking you should have been back then you would have had us as friends, but that wouldn't have been true friendship, it would just be admiration for the skills you had. What you and Toothless have is the real deal, and you would do anything to keep it that way wouldn't you!?"

Hiccup was silent for a moment, wondering if this was a trick. Still, he answered, "What are- "

"Wouldn't you!?" Astrid asked again, cutting him off.

"Of course, what's the point of this?" Hiccup decided to answer and find out where this is headed.

"Because a moment ago you basically admitted to trading all that away!" she said, surprising everyone in the room with wide eyes, even Toothless.

"What are you talking about!?" Hiccup questioned, not quite catching onto what she was getting to. There was no way he said he would want to trade away his friendship with Toothless. "I never said that at all!"

"You told me the reason why you didn't kill Toothless back when you had the chance," she said, perking everyone's interest. They too heard of the story on how Hiccup didn't kill his dragon but said nothing as they wanted to see where this led to. "You said you wouldn't kill him because you saw yourself within him."

Slowly but surely everyone else started to get a clue as to what Astrid was doing and let her continue. Hiccup on the other hand is still confused as to where she is getting at. "Of course, I wouldn't have, but what- "

"Imagine if you were back at that exact moment… But instead of the Hiccup we knew it's this version of you that you are now. You wouldn't have seen yourself within Toothless, meaning you would have killed him!" Astrid cut him off and blurted out, creating a deafening silence within the room, as silent gasped left everyone.

Hiccup opened his mouth to respond, but in truth he had nothing to say back. His mind processing all that she had said, and it slowly started cementing itself as there is some truth in her words. Slowly but surely his mind started to think about what was said and it just flashed before him. He could see himself back in the forest, Toothless tangled in the bolas, himself holding the knife. Instead of fear Hiccup had determination and hatred in his eyes. The same hatred all of Berk's Vikings had towards the dragons back then. He shook his head, trying to ride himself of the image.

"You said how you were going to cut out Toothless' heart and take it back to your father to prove you were a Viking. Only this time you wouldn't have let him go!" Astrid poured more venom into her words as Toothless warbled sadly but did nothing.

"_She…. She speaks the truth," _he couldn't help but think.

"A-Astrid… S-Stop," Hiccup's breathing started to increase as the vision started to come back. He saw himself holding the knife up into the air, no hint of hesitation at all within him. He gasped big time as he saw himself bring the knife down in a quick stab, Toothless' roar of pain piercing the air as he cut in deep. Both eyes closed as he shook the image from his mind, "P-Please stop."

Everyone saw Hiccup struggling with something, but not sure as to what. All they saw is the teen squirming around on the bed, shaking his head, almost as if he's seeing something that none of them could witness, and is trying to escape. No one dared to interrupt Astrid as what she is doing seems to be working, or not as they weren't sure how things are playing out. They were hoping things were working in their favor, yet felt bad as Hiccup is in some kind of discomfort.

"You would have killed the only true friend you could have had, Toothless would have been dead and you wouldn't have been able to show all of Berk how wonderful dragons could be!"

"Stop!" he shouted some as the scene kept on playing in his mind. Watching as the dagger carved the black scales as nothing but crimson liquid pouring out of the now weakening Night Fury. The life slowly leaving him until he is motionless. "Astrid… Please…"

She didn't listen at all and kept pouring more salt onto the wound, well more like a barrel. "We would still be at war with the dragons, more and more people would have died because of this. All because you wanted to be a true Viking. Not only would you have been a killer of not only humans… But you would have been a dragon killer!"

Hiccup couldn't open his eyes, the vision showing him digging his knife deeper, coating his hands in blood, his best friend's blood. He watched himself reach in and swiftly pull his hand back out. His eyes locked onto the object within his hand, a smile creeping onto his face as he looked right at Toothless' heart.

"STOP!" Hiccup cried out at the top of his lungs, causing everyone to cringe as the volume hurt their ears. Luckily Astrid did stop, only for another sound to take his place. Sniffling, and uneasy breathing. Looking over they saw some tears streaming down Hiccup's eyes, face red from the yelling as he violently trembled. "N-No more… No more."

Stoick then motioned for Astrid to not continue, which she nodded in return as her point was made. The chief then approached his son's side, giving him a moment to try and recompose himself. They all watched him start to sob, as more tears flowed down his face, clearing what had been told wounded him much more than anticipated. Stoick placed a hand on his son's head, rubbing it gently, "Just let it out."

After a bit Hiccup opened his eyes, fully realizing that he is crying in front of everyone present. Something that a mere child would do, but he's a teenager and shouldn't be doing it. Yet when he saw the looks on the faces of everyone he was confused. They all held soft yet understanding expressions. Confusion gripped him as he then looked over at his father and is surprised to see there are no ire of any kind. Not even shame or anything of the like. He was being allowed to cry, basically show weakness… And his father didn't care at all!

He wasn't sure why, but it felt like the teen's eyes were finally opened as realization seemed to come crashing down like he had done with his dragon many times. Why were his friends being so accepting with him crying and showing weakness? Did… Did it no longer matter to them? Did he have everything completely wrong?

A coo is heard right next to him, prompting Hiccup to look over to see Toothless right next to him. The Night Fury then pressed his head against Hiccup's trembling forehead. Immediately he started to feel guilty for what he had said and let out another choked out sob, "I'm… So sorry for saying that bud. There's no way I would want to give up our friendship for anything."

"_I forgive you," _Toothless had responded back, sensing a bit of his friend returning back to him.

Everyone seemed to breathe in a sigh of relief. Obviously, this seemed to work as all the hostility seemed to vanish from the air, as they could see a bit of the old Hiccup they knew coming back. They chalked this up as the worst being over with and hopefully could move on. Stoick could see this and decided that his son was no longer a flight risk. Grabbing the knife from his belt he started to cut the rope, hoping this was a good choice.

"Now son… Please, talk to us," he asked, as the rope is cut free.

Hiccup mentally sighed in relief as the pressure the rope gave off is being relieved. Slowly he felt his body being freed yet heard his father's demand. Once again hesitation filled him, but the fact that he wasn't chastised for crying or acting childish made him reconsider. If he was allowed a chance to show weakness… Then maybe it wouldn't hurt sharing the truth with them. What more could he lose?

"Ok," he nodded.

…..

For the next few moments everyone listened to what Hiccup had to say, without any interruption. The one-legged teen told them everything. About how he kept seeing the faces of the men he killed. How one of them was a complete accident and how he never wanted that to happen. Then he went on about how he kept all this hidden from everyone, and all the faces in the room dropped as to why Hiccup never said anything to them.

"All my life I've been told that Vikings don't show weakness and fear. Killing happens to be a huge part of our Viking way of life and admitting that I couldn't handle the stress from it made me look weak. I didn't want that to happen, I couldn't show it to anyone… Even to all of you," Hiccup spoke from his bed. Sitting up with his back against the headboard, arms wrapped around his knees. He then looked at his dad, eyes still red from crying a bit earlier. "And I didn't want to disappoint you dad… You put so much faith in me enduring this that I couldn't disappoint you again. I didn't want to prove you wrong, and even when I knew I was failing I tried to not think about it, but it didn't help."

Now Stoick started to feel a bit of guilt, knowing it was his words that aided in his son not wanting to seek help at all. True in the past Stoick didn't care about talking about one's emotions, but slowly he started to change that as it brought him closer to his son. Unfortunately, there was still a bit of his old self his son saw in him still. "Hiccup… I should have made things clearer for you. I know I put faith in you enduring the stress from killing, but I also should have told you that it was alright if you couldn't. You didn't need to feel ashamed of asking for help. I'm always here to help you when you need it, weakness or not."

Hiccup nodded, feeling somewhat better at hearing that, yet feeling foolish for not realizing it. His eyes then trailed up to Gobber, the blacksmith staring back at him with concern. Now some guilt swelled up within the teen, finally realizing the error he made. "I'm sorry Gobber… I'm so sorry for ignoring and yelling at you. I should have never done that."

"It's alright lad," the blacksmith responded softly, clearly understanding. "Stress and trauma can do that to anyone, I never actually took your words to heart. Besides in the end, I only did it because I care for you."

"I know… I was just too blind to realize that," He responded, now looking down as his mind started to wander. His mind going back to how he was dead set on killing the Outcasts and Berserkers, and how his friends had to stop him. His hands clenched as he realized what could have happened, and mind thinking about what could have followed afterward. He had to shake his head to rid himself of the thought, but it was still there. "I-I can't believe I was going to kill them."

"But you didn't," Fishlegs responded.

"But I almost did," Hiccup retorted. "Either way, thank you all for stopping me."

"Believe us it wasn't easy," Snotlout responded back. "You're a lot stronger when you want to be."

"Which makes us think you've been lying about your actual strength," Tuffnut accused.

"Either way it didn't happen, and everything is fine," Astrid said next, hoping that would comfort Hiccup.

"Is it? It's a lot worse now, I can see multiple faces when I close my eyes, and how they died. I had trouble dealing with one kill… But six in total?" Hiccup questioned, slightly trembling just thinking about the lives he has taken. If one kill made him go this far, then what will happen to him now?

He flinched when he felt a large hand being placed on his shoulder, looking up he saw it belonged to his father. "Hiccup… I can help you, we all can help you. This could have been done in the beginning, but now is better than never. That is if you're willing to let us now."

Hiccup then looked at everyone present, seeing they were all in agreement into wanting to help him. Before Hiccup would have rejected this big time, but this time around things were different. He saw them in a new light, seeing they truly wanted to help him, which should have been done in the first place. "Seriously? Even after all that happened?"

"Of course, son, we'll always be here to help," Stoick said, as he got affirmed nods from everyone else.

Now he felt truly foolish for before, if only he listened to his father and friends in the first place, a lot of time and effort wouldn't have been wasted. Plus, he could have avoided all that had happened on Dragon island. In the end he only had himself to blame for that, which he'll shoulder himself. But now he's being given a chance to heal… Something he wanted more than anything.

"Thank you," he said to them all, truly grateful and having a positive outlook for the first time.

…..

_How did he get here? Why was he here? Yet most of all why is he alone? Hiccup looked around in a panic, finding himself back on the shores of Dragon Island. One moment he was back home on Berk the next he opened his eyes and found himself here. Yet, worse of all he is completely alone, none of his friends are around, not even Toothless!_

"_Hello! Anyone!?" Hiccup shouted out, voice echoing throughout. He calls out once more, clearly wanting someone to hear him. He walked towards the tree line and tried to find anyone, or at least anything that could tell him why he's here. "Toothless?!" he called out but nothing. _

"_Hello killer," a voice said, causing Hiccup to jump and turn around. _

"_N-No… Not again… Not again!" he saw the one Outcast he accidentally killed with his shield and dagger. Blood oozing from the wound where his heart is, the same grim expression of death on his face. _

"_This is your fault," he pointed to the wound on his chest, where more blood flowed out. _

_Hiccup started to back up from fear, heart beating rapidly and breathing increasing as he wanted to get as far as away from them possible but stopped as he sensed something behind him. Stopping he turned and eyes widen as he found the four Berserkers he had killed in order to save his friends. All of them bloody, with various wounds on their bodies. Mostly on the head, and one with multiple stabs on his back. They all wore the same hateful glare on their faces as they threateningly stepped forward towards him. _

"_You killed us purposely, you murdered us!" one of them spat out in disgust. _

_Hiccup fell on his butt, now groveling away from them, "S-Stay away!" _

_They did not but instead move in closer, forming a small circle around the teen, trapping him so he couldn't escape. Hiccup frantically looked around for an opening to escape but couldn't. Still on the ground his heart threatens to burst from his chest as he realized it's hopeless. Just then the two in front of him parted and both of Hiccup's eyes widen as the Outcast he killed first came, his first kill stood before hm, looking as bloody and dead as he did before. Those hateful eyes glared into the boy as his teeth gritted. _

"_You'll never be forgiven for what you did," his voice boomed as he motioned for the others. Altogether they reached down to grab at Hiccup, who is now struggling for his life. _

…

"AH!" Hiccup sat up in bed, letting out a yelp of panic, waking up in a cold sweat as he panted. His heart going a mile a minute as he slowly started to realize that it was just a nightmare. Body trembling violently as his hand shakenly reached up to his chest, feeling how fast his heart raced. He tried to calm down as he realized what had just happened, "J-Just a dream… Just a dream…"

It took a while for him to realized that he was back in his room, safe and sound. Slowly his body calmed, and heart slowed down enough for him to be able to look around, realized that it was the middle of the night, and to his surprise Toothless remained asleep on his bed. His scream must have not been as loud enough, which was a relief somewhat. Last thing he wanted to do is interrupt his friend's sleep just because of his nightmare. Still part of him wished he was awake so he wouldn't be alone. After such a nightmare it shook him to his core to where he needed someone right now, but it would be really rude to disturb his dragon's rest.

His mind then started to wander a bit, remembering what happened hours ago. He finally allowed his friends and family to help him and spent the next few hours talking to Hiccup. They told him not to worry about looking weak in front of them, as they understood completely. This made him feel better somewhat, but it would still take time for him to fully get past this, but it was glad to know it was possible. Soon it was late, and everyone left to go home for the night. Hiccup and Stoick then had dinner together at their home, in silence. Yet, the awkwardness was gone so things felt ok. Occasionally, Stoick would ask his son a couple of questions and Hiccup would answer.

Soon with dinner done Hiccup had said he was going to bed, which he felt really worn out from today's events. Stoick understood but then told his son if he had needed anything then to get him no matter what. Hiccup agreed and actually meant it this time, fully glad to be able to have help again when he needed it. Well he needed some help right now, but not the kind his father would think. He thought about one thing that could help but is hesitant on it. Part of him just wanted to forget about it as there was no way it could happen, but he was told whatever he needed… So maybe this would be acceptable, or not. Still, there was no harm in trying right?

Mind made up and being careful and quiet, as to not wake Toothless, Hiccup slipped out of his bed and left his room, going down the stairs to the main area of the home. The Fire pit seemed to be smoldering, yet it still produced enough light for him to see. This is good, at least he wouldn't bump into anything, and accidentally hurting himself. Using the light, he grabbed a nearby candle and lit it on the embers in the fire it. A small, yet bright, glow appeared illuminated the room some more and allowing more of the darken house to be seen. Hiccup then made his way to the curtained off area in the back, which would lead to where his father slept. Arriving he moved it to the side, allowing some light into the room, as he heard his father's snores. Hiccup couldn't help but smile at this, remembering when he was a child and always would hear his dad snore when coming to him at night.

Walking in further, the candle's light further illuminated the room, showing a large bed with the chief sleeping in it. Stoick is such a large man that he took up most of the space on the bed. Yet, from what Hiccup understood this is the same bed his parents slept in when his mother was still alive. He couldn't help but wonder how they both fit on it at all. Either way he decided not to worry about it and moved do his father's side, making sure to put the candle down on the bedside table. He took a breath, fully knowing what was going to come.

"D-Dad… Dad… Dad." Just like magic both of Stoick's eyes opened as he sat up in bed, one hand reaching out and grabbing Hiccup by his shirt collar, as his other one reared back in a fist. "Dad, it's me!"

Hearing his son's voice made Stoick stop his actions, eyes clearing up fast with the candle aid as he saw who he was about to attack. Taking an intake of air, he then put his son down before rubbing his eyes, "Hiccup, what's wrong?" the chief asked, remembering what he had said earlier and assumed Hiccup needed something from him.

"D-Dad…I…um…" Hiccup began but then started to trail off as he adverted eye contact. All of a sudden, he felt really embarrassed at what he wanted to ask as nothing else came out. He started to think that this was a big mistake now and there is no way he could say it. But he didn't leave either, mainly since his father is already up.

"Son just tell me," Stoick asked, voice soft as he was curious as to what the boy could want. Obviously, it was something big as he seemed to be fumbling with his words, yet he had no idea what it could be.

There were so many ways on how Hiccup would have wanted to phrase what he had wanted to say. Some of them were embarrassing, some were dismissive, yet just one word came out of his mouth, and it was enough to sum up the reason why he was here. "N-Nightmare."

Stoick was taken back a bit at hearing that word, but then it slowly started to dawn on him. Memories of when Hiccup was a small child came to mind, back before their relationship had become strain. How he would always come to him when he had rough nights and apparently, he must have had the same thing tonight. Stoick could tell by that one word, and embarrassed look on his son's face on what Hiccup wanted to truly ask. And to be honest, Stoick could sympathize with him in full understanding. Without saying a word, he gave his answer by making room in his bed.

Hiccup mentally sighed in relief as he climbed into his father's bed, curling up by the larger male's side. Just like how he used to do it when he had a nightmare as a child. His father would always allow him to sleep with him, and thankfully tonight happens to be one of those nights after so many years. Hiccup knew this was a childish act, but it always helped him, and he needed his father's protection from the nightmares.

He stiffened a bit as he felt his father's large arm wrap around and pull him into an embrace. Hiccup couldn't help but return it, feeling safe and secure. "T-Thank you," he said in a small voice

"Of course, son," Stoick softly rubbed small circles onto his son's back. "You haven't done this in years."

"I-I know… But I-"

"You don't need to explain, I understand," Stoick interrupted, showing that Hiccup didn't need to be embarrassed about it. The larger male wanted to help his son, and if it meant allowing him into his bed for the night helped, then so be it.

"I just don't want to see their faces anymore, I don't want to see their eyes piercing into me… Trying to make me feel guilty for what I did," Hiccup spoke freely, letting what is on his mind being known.

"Don't let it get to you, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Things will get better with time, I promise you," Stoick then started to softly stroke Hiccup's hair, trying to comfort him some more. "You're not alone in this anymore, we will help you."

"Thank you," Hiccup responded in a low voice once more. "Especially for- "

"Go to sleep, nothing bad will happen," Stoick said as he leaned forward and blew out the flame on the candle, plunging the room into darkness. After that Hiccup then started to settle down, Stoick remaining awake a bit longer to make sure his son fell asleep, which took a few more minutes. His mind mulling all of that had happened these past few days, from Hiccup killing for the first time till now. His son seriously going down a dangerous path and was almost lost. Still, Hiccup was able to be pulled back, and now he can heal from this experience. Stoick was glad things worked out for the best, and Hiccup was asking for help again.

He would do everything in his power to make sure his son gets through this. Having Hiccup come to him like this is a good first step. It might be childish in some way, but in the end Stoick could allow Hiccup to be a child, just for this night.

He earned at least that much.

_**Author's Note: Hope you like. When originally planning this story Hiccup getting into his father's bed was a core idea I came up with. I thought it would be a nice touch and maybe make the two come a bit closer to one another. Well now Hiccup seems to be back to his original self, and is trying his best to move on from his experiences. Now that he has help from friends. Just one more chapter left for this story and it's done. I hope it turns out good for you all as I know you're waiting so patiently. I thank you all for it. I'll see you next time for the conclusion. Till next time. **_


	12. Not Alone

**Author's Note:**** Well here it is, the final chapter. I'm so sorry for taking so long, I won't make any excuses for this. I'm just glad to finally be able to get this story done, yet also sad at the same time. But don't worry it doesn't mean i'm done with writing. No, I have plenty more ideas in my noggin for story ideas. I have another one cooking in my head. **

**I tried with this chapter, and it's all fluff like, and maybe a bit sappy, but that's all I could think of. Still I hope it's good. I give a huge thank you to Ugly-Duckling123, who beta read this story for me. Thank you for your help. Now here is the final chapter, enjoy. **

Chapter 12: Not Alone

The bright rays of the sun started to shine through the open window of Hiccup's window, illuminating part of the room. Slowly, but surely, all of Berk activity could be heard from outside, signaling the start of the day. Hiccup laid on his bed still, eyes open as he stared at the ceiling. The teen had been awake for a while already but didn't really feel like getting out of bed yet. It was rare for him to be up early like this, especially while Toothless is still asleep, but Hiccup's mind is wandering about endlessly, and he's taking his time to sort out his thoughts. He could do so for as long as he wanted, it wasn't like he had anything important to do right now, well not yet at least.

It has been fourteen days since he broke down and finally told everyone what was wrong, and they all did what they could to help him get through his mental troubles from killing. A huge part of him couldn't believe how foolish he had been for hiding these feelings from his friends and father, as they didn't care about if he showed weakness now. All they cared about is helping him return to his normal, cheerful self. To be honest Hiccup missed being himself once he finally had his thoughts cleared up. He would gladly take any assistance he could get.

Thankfully his friends would be there if he wanted to talk to them, if he suddenly had more panic attacks they would try to break him out of it. He had a few more but was glad they managed to bring him back. One biggest aspect of all they didn't make any jokes or anything about it, as they found it disrespectful to Hiccup's health, which he was grateful for. This only made Hiccup glad to have them…and to think they might not have been there to help him if he hadn't done what he did… Which part of him was glad that he managed to save them, despite them not having to be on Dragon Island in the first place if it wasn't for him. Still he can't dwell on the past now.

A small thump caught Hiccup's attention, prompting him to look over, seeing Toothless now awake and stretching. Seeing that his dragon is up Hiccup decided to get up as well, as it was only fair. Attaching his prosthetic and getting up Hiccup gave a smile as Toothless padded up to him, giving a few pets, "Morning Bud, ready for the day?"

"_Of course, and I'm glad to see you're doing better," _Toothless warbled.

"I think today will be the day bud," Hiccup said, which the Night Fury seemed to understand completely as he gave out a surprised warble.

"_Are you sure? Do you need more time or anything?" _

"I think it's been long enough," Hiccup said, almost as if he understood what was said, mainly as it would be an obvious response. Smiling now he stood up and heading for his door, heavy footsteps following right behind.

Making his way downstairs Hiccup wasn't surprised to see his father still at home, tending to the fire. The chief hearing his son coming down and looked up to greet him, "Morning son, didn't expect to see you up already."

"Couldn't fall asleep," He responded sheepishly, yet not gloomy either, which seems to be a positive sign. "And…well I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, about what?" Stoick asked, seeing his son motion to the table, which he moved over to sit down at.

Hiccup had to admit, his father has been really helpful these last two weeks. Like promised the chief had said he would help him with any questions he may have, mainly on how he's feeling from his kills. Hiccup explained everything and his father listened to all of it. His patience being shown as he said nothing until the teen vented everything that needed to be said. His advice helped a lot, but Hiccup would still get nightmares now and then the coming days… Yet, as they days passed they started to become more tame as they were before.

They both sat down, with Toothless doing the same between the two, watching on. Hiccup was silent at first, but Stoick waited for Hiccup to say what's on his mind. Moving his head up, Hiccup looked right into his father's eyes, "Dad… I think I'm ready to return to my duties."

Both of Stoick's eyes rose as his mouth dropped a bit, not expecting that at all. After the night in which Hiccup crawled into his bed for the night Stoick talked to the boy, still seeing some fear and the like still within him. Both of them remembering the conversation that followed after Hiccup had woken up.

…..

_Stoick sat down at the table, looking through some of the daily reports that were given to him for today. Having woken up not too long ago, and suddenly remembering his son is sound asleep next to him. The sight brought some comfort to the chief, fully knowing this must be the first bit of sound sleep his son has had in a long while. The last thing he wanted to do is wake him, when he needed the rest. Being as careful as possible the large man managed to untangle himself from his son, which itself was a large feat, and left him in his bed to rest further._

_Taking a moment, Stoick couldn't help but smile and caress his son's face. Hiccup looked almost like he did as a child when he used to crawl into his bed, it was cute in a way. Yet, the reason for it was still disheartening as the realization set it. Sighing heavily at this. His son is still technically a child, and he has already taken six lives. Something that Vikings would usually praise… Yet Hiccup is different, instead of killing he would rather preserve life. This itself spoke leaps and bounds about his son's character, and only made Stoick realize he would have hard hurdles to jump in his life. Making sure not to make a sound he walked out of his room, just in time to see Toothless walking down the stairs frantically, almost as if in a panic. _

"_Where's Hiccup!" he warbled fast once he saw the chief. _

"_Easy there Toothless, Hiccup is in my bed don't worry," he reached and petted the dragon, which seemed to calm the beast. "Leave him be, Hiccup needs the sleep. Why don't you go out and stretch your legs until then?" _

"_No, I'm not leaving his side," Toothless warbled back, sitting down on the floor, unmoving. Stoick kept on insisting the Night Fury go out still, but he was adamant in his decision, which Stoick relented on. _

"_You're as stubborn as my son… Yet your loyalty means no bounds," Stoick smiled, seeing firsthand the bond his son and dragon had._

"_He would do the same for me," Toothless warbled back. Both of them knew they it would be a while before Hiccup waited, but it was fine for them. _

_Both of them waited together. _

_Stoick took the whole morning off, putting Spitelout in charge until later in the afternoon. After what happened he would need to be here for his son… Just like when all this began in the first place. He wouldn't leave his son alone to deal with the aftermath of yesterday, he's not that heartless… At least not anymore. The familiar clanks of Hiccup's prosthetic could be heard as man and dragon looked back, seeing the teen emerging from the room. _

"_Morning Hiccup." _

"_Morning…dad," the teen responded, looking a bit embarrassed for some reason. Stoick ignored that for now, thankfully. _

"_Son, please sit," he motioned for the chair. Without a word or arguing Hiccup moved forward, smiling as he gave Toothless a few pets before sitting down at his chair. A small uncomfortable silence filled the hut as none of them said anything. The mood being set, as now they waited for the first person to speak up. Stoick decided to be the first one, at least give Hiccup time to compose himself more. "How are you feeling?" _

"_I'm…I'm feeling really good," Hiccup said with a smile, deciding to be honest with his answers. After all that happened yesterday, his father deserved the truth. "It was the first time in a long while that I didn't have any nightmares… And I am so relieved at that… T-Thank you dad… F-For… You know." _

_Stoick nodded, fully knowing what it was for, but didn't press it. "Of course, son. Like I said before I'll always be here to help you."_

"_I know… I just wish I saw reason sooner before everything else happened… It would have saved me so much trouble and pain," Hiccup looked down at his hands, still putting himself down at this. Another silence followed as Hiccup still saw blood covering his hands… Blood from the Berserkers he killed. Closing his eyes and shaking his head, he opened them to see his hands cleaned again. Stoick noticed this, and knew he needed to keep the talk going. _

"_That's life son, there's nothing more that can be done about that, you can't dwell on it. I know it may seem harsh, but it's true," Stoick leaned forward, trying to help more. He couldn't sugarcoat anything, not anymore. "Killing is part of a Viking's life, and it's bound to happen one day. Unfortunately, you experienced it at a young age. Sadly, you cannot go back and change things. I know it's hard, but you have to focus on what is right in front of you and not let your recent kills get the better of you." _

"_I…I can try, but I'm not sure how to," Hiccup responded, truly unsure how to even go about dealing with this. "Killing them was a huge mistake." _

"_Yet… If you hadn't your friends might not be alive," Stoick responded, causing Hiccup to look up at him._

"_B-But dad, if it wasn't for me we wouldn't have been on Dragon Island in the first place. If I hadn't got mad at them I wouldn't have stormed off and allowed them to get captured. We would still be on Berk where it was safe." _

"_True, but what's to say that it wasn't going to happen sooner or later? The very situation you found yourself in," Stoick asked, seeing his son about to open his mouth but stopped. His mind realizing that his father is right and something like that could have happened at any time. "I know there could have been another way of dealing with the situation, but overall, I think you did what was best in the situation. It was either your friends, or them, and you chose to kill them to save your friends lives. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't? It may not seem like a positive, but you kept them alive, and that is still the best outcome for you." _

_Hiccup hadn't thought about this, what if he hadn't done what he did? It still didn't justify the means, but still could his friends have been hurt or killed if he hadn't intervened as he did? His body shuddered as he didn't want to think about this more. It helped a bit but not that much. "Still… It feels like I'm paying the price for it… Which I'm not even sure how to handle it."_

"_Well stress can be the biggest cause of your troubles, and it can make things worse. Right now, you need to relax and take it easy, which is why I have come to a decision," At that Hiccup looked up to look at his father, curious and somewhat worried what he might do. "Son, you're going to be taking a leave of absence from the dragon academy and the forge." _

"_What? D-Dad I can't do that," Hiccup responded softly. Normally one would be a bit panicked and lash out, but Hiccup still felt worn out from yesterday and all his fight had left him long ago. Besides, he didn't want to stop working for other reasons. "I have too many people relying on me, I can't be-"_

"_Gobber has already signed off on this, he said he can handle things in the forge on his own for a while. Especially since things have been quiet as of late, so there won't be that much work for him," Stoick interrupted, seeing his son calming down some, but still wanted to protest. "And the other Riders can handle the academy, believe it or not but you have taught them well." _

"_But… Dad I… It just seems wrong of me to do so," Hiccup shook his head, his mind not fighting back as part of him agreeing with what his dad is saying. "I just can't stop… Not while the whole world is going on without me."_

"_Son, this will be good for you. Besides, you've earned a small break after all you been through, matter of fact I think it's needed… But if you don't think you can do that… Then look me right in the eye and tell me that your kills won't get in the way," Stoick offered sincerely, without any kind of negative tone. He's trying to prove a point, one of which he knew his son is starting to realize. _

_Hiccup knew this was some kind of test, he didn't want time off as he couldn't shirk his duties and let someone else take on the slack. He couldn't do that and wouldn't. Yet, as he looked into his father's eyes and opened his mouth, he froze. Doubt filled him as his body literally didn't say what he wanted to say. That doubt made him think back to the dead Berserkers and Outcasts, making him shudder and break eye contact. He started to think about what his dad said in hopes of getting his mind off of their faces. All in all… His father is right. Even if he could say those words there is no way he can function properly to do his job right, thus making things even worse and that is the last thing he wanted. Would it be better to step away from something willingly than risk making this worse? Maybe stepping away from his responsibilities could be good for him… Besides he was going to start trusting his dad more on this, and the first thing is to heed his advice. _

_Bowing his head more he responded in a low voice, "A break might not be that bad." _

"_I'm glad you saw it my way son," Stoick reached over to place a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Take all the time you need to get your head on straight. I'll be here no matter what I'm doing, and that's the truth."_

"_But… Dad you're a busy man, I can't possibly-"_

"_You let me worry about that, you're my priority right now," Stoick assured, which help put a smile on his son's face as a nod is given. "And when you feel ready to return to your duties, tell me." _

"_I will… Thank you dad," Hiccup nodded. _

…_._

"Are you sure son?" Stoick asked, taken by surprise at the statement. He knew his son would have to get back to his duties sometime but wasn't expecting it yet. Yet, his son looked him straight in the eye and said it without trouble.

"Yeah…this break really has helped me a lot, and I think I got my head on straight," Hiccup responded back, which is true. The past two weeks were a relaxing one. Free of responsibility for the moment Hiccup practically seized every single day and did what he wanted. Whether it was flying around on Toothless, visiting the other dragons on Berk, or even sketching random things, Hiccup never got bored of it. At first, he thought his friends might be ticked off they were to handle things on their own, but to his surprised they were supportive of his break, which helped him feel a bit at ease. "I mean, I still think about them… But it doesn't affect me like it used to. I could actually go all of yesterday without stalling or having a small breakdown."

"I've noticed that," Stoick nodded, fully knowing it was true. For the past few days, he has noticed his son is less tense and calmer than usual. A positive sign. Also, he has been able to sleep through the night, something he has been needing badly. "This is good, yet are you sure you can handle things?"

"Yes dad, I'm good," Hiccup gave a genuine smile, and upon looking at his son's face Stoick saw the same Hiccup from before. No trace of hiding anything nor forcing the smile. Just by this look alone the chief knew that things were good.

"Alright son, but remember take things slow, and don't overexert yourself. Just because you're feeling good doesn't mean you're all better," Stoick warned his son, but was also glad to see him getting back to work again.

"I know, and thanks," Hiccup nodded as he got up from his chair and turned to leave, calling for Toothless as the Night Fury followed. Today was a start of a new day.

….

Hiccup slowly approached the forge, getting some waves and greetings from the villagers. The lot of them knowing what the teen is going through, though Hiccup wasn't sure how they found out. Still, they were just as supportive as it came to his mental state. Some respectfully giving him space, some asking if he needed anything. Hiccup was glad to know they cared, it just made him feel all that better. Arriving, he heard activity from within, a clear indication Gobber is hard at work inside. Hiccup was going to go to the academy to get back to training with his friends, but he had a bit of time before that happened and wanted to make one stop before going over there. Entering it he found Gobber organizing the shelves, humming an all too familiar tune, "Hey Gobber."

That stopped his actions as the blacksmith turned and smiled widely upon seeing his apprentice, "Hiccup! How are you lad?" he went over and gave him a small hug.

"I'm good Gobber, better than I've ever felt," Hiccup responded.

It was safe to say that the two managed to repair whatever damage had been left between them. Hiccup kept on apologizing for giving his mentor the cold shoulder for so long, but Gobber insisted that all was fine. Yet, he still held firm on not allowing Hiccup to work in the forge until he felt better. So instead the teen would come down to the forge and the two would just talk when Gobber had some spare time. Hiccup knew Gobber has killed as well and asked him how he dealt with the aftereffects of it. The blacksmith was kind of enough to explain things and give advice as well. It made things more bearable for Hiccup.

"So, looking for another talk?" Gobber asked, curious as to what brings his apprentice here.

"Actually, not today," Hiccup smiled. "I thought I'd let you know that I told my dad I'm good enough to return to my duties, and he signed off on it."

Both of Gobber's eyes rose in surprise, just like his father had done. "Really? So, you feel you're well enough to get back to work?"

"Yes, and you know my dad, he wouldn't have ok'd it unless he knew I could handle things," Hiccup explained reasonably, which Gobber couldn't help but agree with. "So, I came to let you know I'll be back to work either later on today or tomorrow."

Gobber gave a hearty laugh as he clapped the boy on the shoulder, "Welcome back my boy, I can say the shop hasn't been the same without you here."

"And I can say I missed your banter," both of them gave a laugh, clearly enjoying the sense of familiarity they were having. Both of them missing the usual interaction they would have.

Gobber then ruffled Hiccup's hair, glad to see him back to his usual self. "Alright, why don't you get going, I know your friends should be gathering soon."

"Alright Gobber, I'll see you later," Hiccup responded back with a nod as he headed out of the forge towards Toothless. He climbed aboard his dragon and the two were then launched up into the air, heading for the academy.

…..

At the Academy all the riders were present, milling about, well not really. Snotlout is lying against a sleeping Hookfang, both of them snoozing from boredom. The Twins were having one of their usual arguments with Barf and Belch snapping at one another. Fishlegs is reading a botany book as Meatlug is leaning against her rider sleeping. Astrid is huffing to herself as she saw her friends lazing about, Stormfly right behind her, waiting for an order to be issued from her rider. She pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation, as it seems like they aren't going to get much work down.

When they were informed that Hiccup was going to be taking a leave of absence from the academy Hiccup had put Astrid in charge, and for a while, things seemed to work out fine. Then things started to fall apart some as time went on. Astrid believed in sticking with an exercise until it was pulled of flawlessly, so this led to repeating various maneuvers over and over again, which in turn gained nothing but groans and attitude. Despite keeping everyone in order she still had trouble trying to get them up into the air when they gathered.

"Ok, listen up!" Astrid called out, and thankfully that seemed to get their attention as everyone seemed to look at everyone. "If you all are done slacking off why don't we get off into the air for more maneuvers."

"Again?" Snotlout asked as he pushed his helmet up away from his eyes. "Can't we do something different?"

"I don't normally agree with Snotlout, but yeah I honestly thing something new is warranted," Fishlegs responded as he put his book away.

"Come on, we're getting better at it, why mess with progress?" Astrid responded back, hand on her hip. She knew this was going to be another tricky verbal fight to win.

"Progress? What progress?" Tuffnut responded.

"Yeah, if you haven't noticed my brother here has been slacking," Ruffnut responded.

"Hey, if I'm slacking so are you," Tuff responded back, glaring at his sister.

"No, I'm not," she retorted.

"Idiot we ride the same dragon!"

Astrid rolled her eyes as she watched the two get into another argument, knowing that this would have to be broken up again. Yet, before she could do so they all heard wing beats and turned to the entrance to see a familiar Night Fury flying in and landing. "Hiccup!" Astrid called out, which seemed to catch the attention of everyone else.

Hiccup got off of his dragon, smiling at his friends, "Hey everyone."

"Hey cuz, what brings you here?" Snotlout got up with a smile, glad from the small reprieve from Astrid.

"Is something wrong?" Fishlegs asked as everyone went up to him.

"No, no everything is fine," Hiccup responded. That was another thing he was glad for his friends as they were there when he needed them. Whenever they weren't busy, they would gladly hang out with him, to keep him company. They all would go for relaxing flights, have small camp outs or just stay at one place to talk. Hiccup was glad to have them, just like with his father and Gobber as they helped him pass his problems. "Matter of fact I have some good news."

"Good news? What is it?" Tuffnuff placed his hands on Snotlout's helmet and pushed him down so he can see over him. The buffer teen grunting under the extra weight. "Is it about me?"

"Get off me!" Snotlout shoved the male twin off. "And why would he have news about you?"

Hiccup laughed at this, enjoying these funny moments between his friends. This didn't go unnoticed by Astrid, "Well, I see you're feeling good today."

"Yeah, and that's what I came here for," Hiccup responded back as all eyes were now on him. "I'm ready to return back to leading the academy."

"Wow, already?" Fishlegs responded in surprise and excitement.

"Cool, about time," Ruffnut said next with a smile.

"Ha, I knew you would bounce back quick cuz," Snotlout folded his arms, smiling.

"So, you're all better now?" Astrid asked, making everyone a bit nervous as they didn't think about this first.

Hiccup nodded, "Yeah, I'm good. I mean to be honest I still see their faces now and then, but it doesn't bother me the same way as it did before. I think I'm able to go on without incident."

A small silence filled the area as they all digested the answer given. It was good to hear that yet; they weren't sure if it was a good thing in general. None of them have killed before, they wouldn't know the signs. Still it meant something as Astrid then gave Hiccup a small punch on the shoulder, smiling, "Good to have you back dragon boy." With that everyone went in to give Hiccup a few pats on the shoulder, and a head ruffle. Hiccup smiled and allowed this to happen, glad to be back again.

"So, now that you're back, what are we doing today?" Snotlout asked, knowing Astrid's plans were going to be scrapped.

"Anything but Maneuvering," Tuffnut commented as he and Ruffnut headed for their dragon.

"Ok, how about a trick contest?" Hiccup suggested, gaining some positive smirks from them all. "I take that as a yes."

"That's better than the usual," Snotlout smiled as he mounted Hookfang and the two launched out of the academy.

"Finally, a change of pace," Fishlegs woke up Meatlug gently before mounting her to leave.

"Yeah, we are so going to win!" Ruffnut claimed as she and her brother are on their Zippleback.

"Just you wait," Tuffnut said, as the two left.

"Man, I haven't seen them this excited in a long while," Astrid amused herself as she headed for Stormfly.

"Same here, guess that means they are glad to have me back," Hiccup said as he went back to Toothless and is about to mount him.

"_Your fault" _A voice said in the teen's mind, making him stop.

Hiccup's body shuddered as his eyes closed on reaction and kept them closed. His hand clenched as those six faces could be seen plan as day, all of them glaring at him hatefully. Words of malicious echoing in his mind. Hiccup's body tensed some but soon relaxed as he opened his eyes, the faces disappearing and out of his head. "It was my fault… But you don't control me," he spoke defiantly, the words now leaving as silence if heard.

"Hiccup?" He looked over and saw Astrid looking at him worriedly. "Are you ok?"

He nodded, "Yeah… Never been better." He gave a smile; one Astrid knew was genuine. She knew what had happened to him and was glad to see him shake it off and come out of it unscathed.

"Come on Dragon boy, let's go," Astrid said as the two of them then took off and left the academy, leaving boy and dragon left.

Hiccup mounted Toothless, reaching down to give him a few scratches on the chin, "Thank you for standing by me most of all bud. I'm glad I was able to save you back then."

"_And I'm glad to still be with you," _Toothless warbled out. "_It's you and I, through thick and thin."_

Smiling Hiccup then motioned for Toothless to take off, which he did, and the two of them launched themselves off into the air, and out of the academy. He could see his friends out in the distance waiting for him, in which he was glad to join them again. He was glad to be back in action again, feeling the break was really helpful. He would never doubt his friends or family when it comes to concerns on showing weakness. Now he knows that things could have been a lot worse if he went down the path he nearly took. Glad to have been pulled back from it in time. Now, he could rejoice in being the same Hiccup he always has been.

He wasn't a killer, or murderer, he is a Dragon Trainer.

END

_**Author's Note: Hope you like. I did what I could and this is the ending I thought of. Hiccup has been through a lot and needed his friends and family to help him through this. He couldn't have done it alone, and others needed to show him that he didn't have to go through it himself. He may still think about the kills but he is able to go on with his life. **_

_**Thank you all who stuck by this story and giving it a chance. I promise to keep doing good with these stories. Now for those of you who don't know, i'm proud to announce that this story is getting a sequel. Believe me when I say a lot is going to happen there, and I can't say much without giving away spoilers. All I ask is that you all give it a chance when I do it. I'm going to do a oneshot or two, a small chapter story then the sequel. Hopefully it won't take too long. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. **_

_**Till next time. **_


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